CHAPTER 8
Concerted Cultivation
in Organizational Spheres:
Stacey Marshall
Suddenly, the first day in [gymnastics] class, everything that Stacey did, you know, uh. . . . Even, even though she was doing a skill, it was like, “Turn your feet this way,” or . . . , “Do your hands this way.” You know, nothing was very, very good or nothing was good, or even then just right. She [Tina, the instructor] had to alter just about everything [Stacey did]. I was somewhat furious . . . The instructor had come to the door, Tina. So I went to her, and I said . . . “Is there a problem?” (Interview with Ms. Marshall)
All families interact with many different institutions. For middle-class mothers, the boundaries between home and institutions are fluid; mothers cross back and forth, mediating their children’s lives. When Ms. Marshall, a middle-class African American mother, discovered how unhappy her ten-year-old daughter, Stacey, was after her first gymnastics class in a private program, she did not hesitate to intervene. Almost seamlessly, the daughter’s problem became the mother’s problem. Ms. Marshall firmly believed that it was her responsibility as a parent to ensure that Stacey’s activities provided an opportunity for positive, self-affirming experiences. Like other middle-class mothers we observed, Ms. Marshall acted like a guardian angel, hovering over her children, closely monitoring their everyday lives, ever ready to swoop down to intervene in institutional settings such as classrooms, doctors’ offices, or day camps. Sometimes, her actions embarrassed her children; other times, the girls welcomed their mother’s efforts.
Middle-class parents’ interventions on behalf of their children can produce a twofold advantage. The children’s interactions with teachers, health-care professionals, and camp counselors become more personalized, more closely tailored to meet their specific needs. Just as important, the children learn to expect this individualization, and they begin to acquire a vocabulary and orientation toward institutions that will be useful in the future, when they come to extract advantages on their own behalf. In the Marshall family, the children have many opportunities to learn how to negotiate the world beyond their home, and in their mother they have an unusually strong role model to help them acquire skills for effective interactions with institutions later in their lives. Nor was this pattern unique to the Marshall family. Other middle-class mothers in the study also played this “guardian angel” role. Middle-class parents were, for example, more likely than other parents in the study to request particular teachers for their children (Table C7, Appendix C).1
THE MARSHALL FAMILY
Lorrie and Lonny Marshall, parents of twelve-year-old Fern and ten-year-old Stacey (the target child), are in their forties. Each had been married once before they met; neither had had children. Ms. Marshall, who is tall, thin, and attractive, looks several years younger than she actually is. Her brown hair is relaxed and curled under; her skin is light brown. At home, she often dresses in a pressed, button-down shirt, shorts, and sandals. She has a quiet voice. During conversations, when she is trying to remember something, Ms. Marshall will close her eyes and think for several seconds. She is a college graduate and also holds a master’s degree in math. The (Black) sorority she pledged in college remains an important part of her life. Employed full time in the computer industry, she telecommutes one day per week. On the other days, she drives fifty miles (round-trip).
Mr. Marshall is also tall and thin. He is the family comedian; his frequent jokes make life at home more lighthearted. For example, five minutes after meeting me, while looking over the list of publications on my vitae, he exclaimed, “Why, we are so proud of you!” Stacey and Fern adore him. Like his wife, Mr. Marshall has a college degree and was very active in his fraternity as an undergraduate. He is employed as a civil servant. He works nights, often six days a week, but he is not required to travel. He leaves for his job at 2:30 A.M. and returns in the early afternoon. Usually, he takes a nap when he comes home; sometimes he sleeps in the evening. Mr. Marshall is a confirmed sports fan; most evenings he watches a game on television. He coaches Fern’s basketball team and travels with the players to out-of-state tournaments. He is disappointed that Stacey shows a lack of interest in basketball.
Both Mr. and Ms. Marshall grew up in the South. Ms. Marshall’s parents live about four hours away. She sees them “three or four” times per year but talks to them on the phone weekly. She has two sisters; she talks on the phone with them monthly. All three sisters try to get together to visit their parents at the same time. Mr. Marshall’s father died twenty years ago. His mother, a former schoolteacher, comes to her son’s home to visit twice a year; he travels to see her an additional two or three times per year. None of the grandparents seem to be an especially important part of Fern and Stacey’s lives.2
The Marshall girls are fifteen months apart in age. Like their parents, both are tall and thin. Fern is an avid basketball player. Stacey prefers gymnastics. The field-worker described Stacey this way:
She has medium brown skin and wears wire-rimmed glasses. Her hair is styled with a small bang, and then the rest is pulled back into a rather tight ponytail. She wears a white T-shirt with a Tasmanian She-Devil cartoon character on it, and white shorts. When she smiles, I notice her dimples.
As Ms. Marshall says, her daughter is a “personable person” who is more like her talkative father than her quiet mother. Stacey is both a talented gymnast and a good dancer. At home, she often hangs out by herself in her bedroom, watching television; but with friends, she can be lively. At the summer camps she attends, she has collections of friends to regularly chatter and giggle with.
At home, Stacey seems less bubbly. She and Fern annoy one another. The two squabble routinely; spats break out all through the day. For example, one afternoon, Stacey answers the phone, using the extension in her bedroom. She yells to Fern that the call is for her. Then, instead of hanging up, Stacey listens in, eavesdropping on her older sister’s conversation. Fern strides into Stacey’s bedroom, fuming. Wordlessly but angrily, she disconnects the phone from the wall. Stacey leaves the phone unplugged for a bit, but then returns to eavesdropping. These little tense encounters are often repeated. In the car during a ninety-minute drive, Stacey and Fern fuss at each other, at first jovially, but then angrily, including slapping, spitting, and pulling each other’s hair. In general, Mr. and Ms. Marshall treat these sorts of interactions between the girls as part of normal sibling rivalry. The parents often make comments designed to defuse the girls’ quarrels. They also frequently simply look at each other and sigh over their daughters’ behavior or, in the car, separate them into different seats. There are also, however, moments of warmth as when Stacey uses her birthday money to buy her sister chocolates or when she seeks Fern’s fashion advice, explaining to the field-worker, “Fern usually knows what looks right.”