Ms. Handlon appeared to feel ashamed that her daughter was not attending a four-year residential college.53 She wished that she had intervened more.54 Hence, as other research suggests, being middle-class did not guarantee that children would become college graduates.55
Parents’ reports in the follow-up interviews indicate that they experienced the most pain when their children were in the process of aborting their educational careers. Over time, all the parents seem to have successfully adjusted their expectations. Most were proud of their children, pleased by how they were doing, and grateful to see them moving steadily into independent, adult lives. Yet nationally, and among the Unequal Childhoods families, working-class and poor children were less likely to graduate from high school and enroll in college. As a result, their parents were much more likely to experience heartbreak over educational disappointments than were middle-class parents.
For their part, the working-class and poor youths showed a striking awareness of the sacrifices their parents had made on their behalf and a knowledge of the burdens these sacrifices entailed. Tyrec knew his parents had borrowed money for his education, and he revealed a sense that at the very least, he owed them a greater commitment to his studies. Katie, who was frank about her disapproval of her mother’s continued drinking, nevertheless told me that she was “proud” of her mother for getting off welfare. Some of the young adults were helping their parents financially. When Wendy was in high school, she held two jobs. The money she earned mainly paid for her own expenses, but she also sometimes gave her mother money to help with family bills. Harold noted that he “loves [his] Mom” and said he “would do anything” for her. He regularly gave her money, often $20 a couple of times per month or whenever she asked. Hence, while middle-class parents were transferring economic resources to their young adults, the working-class and poor young adults were often transferring resources to their parents. The middle-class youth also loved their families, and some were effusive about their parents. Garrett, for instance, glowed as he talked about how wonderful his mom and dad are. The significant difference between these young people and those in working-class and poor families lies in the fact that middle-class youths were much less aware of how much their parents had done on their behalf.
The Importance of Class-Based Cultural Repertoires
Does social class matter in American society? Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that it does not. If that is so, then young people’s educational and work outcomes should be the result of their own aspirations, abilities, efforts, perseverance, and imagination.56 If class position is of little importance, then as the members of each new generation reach young adulthood, they should be poised for a fresh start at the race for success, all facing the same opportunity to “find their way” toward a comfortable and fulfilling life, based on their own innate talents. This is the American dream. The American reality is different. A key finding of Unequal Childhoods is that class does matter. In real life, the educational and work outcomes of young people are closely tied to the class position of their parents. Because social class is a significant force, existing social inequality gets reproduced over time, regardless of each new generation’s aspirations, talent, effort, and imagination.57
Unequal Childhoods used qualitative methods to study the rituals of daily life that families experience and the influence of these rituals on the development of youths’ life chances. The results of the follow-up study provide further support for the argument that a pattern of social inequality is being reproduced. Parents’ cultural practices play a role.58 The commitment to concerted cultivation, whereby parents actively fostered and developed children’s talents and skills did not, it turns out, wane over time. Even as children became autonomous adolescents with driver’s licenses, jobs, and dorm rooms, the middle-class parents closely monitored and intervened in their lives. A few decades ago many similarly aged young people would have been married, with children of their own. But the middle-class youth in this study, now nineteen to twenty-one years old, appeared to be needy and, in crucial ways, still under the wing of their mothers and fathers. By contrast, although similarly aged, the working-class and poor young adults appeared to be more independent. They were very grateful for the love and support their parents had given them in the face of scarce resources. But they were, in Wendy’s words, “grown.” For their part, working-class and poor parents generally accepted that their children had become autonomous adults. They offered help when that seemed possible, and they ached with disappointment when the dreams they had held for their children’s futures grew increasingly unattainable.
What are the implications of this evidence of persisting patterns? For research on social stratification, the follow-up study results suggest a need to broaden and reconceptualize our analysis of how social class does, and does not, matter in daily life. Researchers need to pay more attention to the crucial role of middle-class parents’ informal knowledge of how institutions work; the educational, economic, and social resources they bring to bear in order to realize their goals; and the countless individually insignificant but cumulatively advantageous interventions on behalf of their children these parents make over time.59
For example, beyond an aspiration or a desire to see Stacey succeed, Ms. Marshall drew on many different class resources as she sought to prepare her daughter for college. Recall Ms. Marshall’s insistence that her daughter enroll in a summer algebra course. In taking this action, Ms. Marshall defined herself as capable of assessing her daughter’s educational needs; unlike Ms. Yanelli, she did not need to depend on someone “educated” to tell her what to do. Ms. Marshall also determined a customized plan of action to shore up the weakness she perceived in Stacey’s school performance. Unlike Ms. Driver, she did not accept the generic academic plan offered to her daughter. Instead, she devised an approach that would strengthen Stacey’s math skills before any serious problems developed. In so doing, Ms. Marshall drew on a formidable amount of informal knowledge about how educational institutions function. This informal knowledge was linked to her own educational and occupational experiences; it was not routinely available to all parents. In addition, Ms. Marshall’s plan of action was molded to match her daughter’s temperament and needs. The impact of parental interventions that have this level of complexity—involving both customized action and long-term planning—is very difficult for researchers to isolate and measure. Indeed, in studies based on surveys, Stacey’s strong math performance in high school would likely be interpreted as a matter of her own ability or her level of educational attainment. The role this middle-class mother played in “boosting” and managing her daughter’s math skills vanishes. It is hidden beneath unexamined assumptions regarding the effects of students’ natural ability or hard work.60
Another area that deserves greater attention from social scientists is the drawbacks of middle-class family life. (Likewise, there should be more studies of the potential advantages of the cultural repertoires of working-class and poor families.) For example, high-achieving middle-class high school students often juggle demanding academic work and multiple extracurricular activities, leaving them with little or no free time. While many enjoy the fast pace and pressures, others are left joyless and alienated by the constant quest to succeed.61 There are other costs too. Parents complain of spending hundreds of hours helping their children through the college search process. Applying and getting into college has become a family affair. Since some youths resent parents’ “interference,” the often intense and prolonged focus on college-related matters can produce considerable family conflict.62 Some middle-class parents, such as Ms. Handlon, also experience shame and humiliation when their children do not succeed academically. Parents feel responsible for their children’s mistakes.63