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I find it disconcerting that my fiancée would share something so personal with him. But then again, they must be close. Maybe she saved them. Reading them might help jar my memory and my amorous feelings toward her. With this thought in mind, I go back to scanning the multitude of expenses. Another entry jolts me—a hefty one hundred thousand dollar check made out to the Bella Stadler Academy of Acting. My eyes flutter. Bella Stadler…the name rings a bell. I ask Scott about it.

“Don’t you remember, Brandon? She was your acting coach. You give to her school annually. You’re a big supporter.”

Tugging at my bottom lip with my thumb, I dwell on her name, a memory trying to break through. It’s futile. I move on. A few minutes later I find what I’ve been looking for. A whopping one point two million dollar charge at Tiffany’s. Made on the day of my accident. Katrina’s engagement ring.

“Did I buy Katrina’s ring just before the accident?” I’m a little surprised I didn’t give her one over our engagement dinner the night before.

“After you proposed and she said yes, you wanted her to pick it out. I was there when you phoned in the charge. You were practically creaming your pants.”

“Wish I were doing that now,” I mumble under my breath before regretting I said anything at all about my condition.

Scott lets out a little laugh before clearing his throat. “Equipment trouble?”

None of your damn business, even though you’re my business manager is what I want to say, but I bite down on my tongue. Instead, I ask to see more of my statements. Without probing further, Scott reaches into the briefcase and hands me another thick file.

“This is your portfolio. You’re worth a billion dollars. You can thank me.”

Holy crap. I am. Or at least close to that I estimate as I leaf through page after page of my investments. I own a shitload of stocks and bonds along with a boatload of real estate around the world. This house alone is worth seven million dollars.

My wealth eats at me. A wave of anxiety courses through me. A new worry. “Scott, I need to ask you something.”

“Shoot,” he says, taking the last big bite of his sandwich.

“Do I have a pre-nup?”

He laughs back his mouthful of food. “Are you kidding me?”

My stomach twists. “What do you mean?”

“What I simply mean is you don’t have one. I tried to talk you into one, but you outright refused. Said you didn’t need one. That you had no plans to get a divorce. And even if you did, you’d want to do the fair thing.”

“Shit.” The word escapes my mouth.

“Man, don’t worry about it. Hey, in the worst-case scenario, if you have to give her half, you’ll still be worth close to five hundred mill. That’s not too shabby.”

A good point. I suppose I’m doing the right thing.

Katrina steps back into the living room. She looks spruced up, a fresh coat of crimson lipstick lining her lush lips. “What are you boys talking about?” she asks coyly.

I quickly close the folder. “Just some business stuff. Nothing terribly important.”

She plucks out a piece of lettuce from one of the sandwiches and nibbles on it like a rabbit. “Well, I’m going to leave you two alone to talk business. I’ve got to meet with my stylist to get my wardrobe together for this week’s show and then head over to Monique’s for my first wedding dress fitting. And then I have my spin class followed by yoga. And after that, I’m heading over to Posh for my regular mani-pedi, facial, and massage.”

Man. She knows how to fill her days. This girl’s high maintenance.

Scott blows her an air kiss. “Bye, babe. Try not to spend too much of my client’s money.”

Before disappearing, Katrina winks at him. “Very funny.”

Not really. My money is not yet hers to spend. I polish off my sandwich once she’s gone. A sports car peeling out of my driveway sounds in my ear.

Scott kicks back, plunking his feet on the coffee table. “Do you mind if I have a smoke?”

I don’t object. I watch as he pulls out a pack of Camel Lights from his breast pocket and lights up a cigarette with a gold monogrammed lighter. He inhales and then exhales, the smoke wafting in the air.

I cough and then my heart jumps. I suddenly remember something about myself. I hate cigarettes. The smell. The taste. Even the look and feel of them. The taste of Katrina drifts back into my head. I hope she’s not a smoker. There’s no way I can live with one.

Scott’s nasal voice cuts into my thoughts. “I brought something else over—the latest Kurt Kussler script.” He pulls it out of his briefcase.

“They’ve had you missing in action to cover for you,” he says as he hands it to me. “Everyone’s looking forward to having you back.”

I glance down at the episode title and shudder. “The Return of the Living Dead.” And then a bolt of trepidation zaps me. With my memory so out of whack, I wonder: can I still act?

Brandon

I should spend the rest of the afternoon resting, but I’m restless. I wander around my house, searching for anything that’ll give me a clue about myself. My past. At least what’s happened over the last ten years of my life. My memories of my childhood and teenage years are intact, including my parents’ demise—that fiery car crash that consumed them both. I shiver, thinking my life almost ended in a similar way.

Frustrated, I go to my office and boot up my computer. The first thing I do is check my emails. There’s a ton of them in my inbox from names I don’t recognize, except those of a few big stars. I go through them quickly. All basically the same. People from all over the world sending their prayers and love, wishing me a speedy recovery. My heart swells with unexpected emotion. I can’t believe how many people care about me. I’m overwhelmed. I’ll respond to each of them later. Right now, I have something more important to do.

I google my name. Wow! A whopping 244,000,000 results! To my astonishment, my hospital departure is already headline news. A PerezHilton.com entry posted a few hours ago—“Bratrina Going Home at Last! When Will They Set the Date?”—glares in my eyes. Seriously, Bratrina? I can’t stand that name. And it includes a totally embarrassing photo of Katrina wheeling me out of Cedars. I cringe and jump down to the Wikipedia biography.

My eyes don’t blink as I scroll down the page and absorb what’s written about me.

Born: December 12, 1984 in Oceanside, California.

Parents: Edward and Phyllis, deceased.

Siblings: None.

Other family members: None.

I read on. I learn that I always wanted to be an actor and when my parents perished in that tragic car crash when I was seventeen, I took my small inheritance and split for Los Angeles where I studied at the renowned Bella Stadler Academy of Acting. While working as a lifeguard in Venice Beach and doing small theater bits, I was spotted by top Hollywood talent manager, Scott Turner, who’s been with me ever since.

Credits: A list of minor roles beginning at age twenty is followed by my breakout hit, Kurt Kussler.

Romantic Involvements: This section takes up half a page. In addition to Katrina, I’ve been linked to a slew of actresses and supermodels, most of whose names aren’t familiar to me. The list goes on and on. I’m a fucking player. And now I can’t fucking get it up.

Awards: Twice nominated for an Emmy Award for my portrayal of ex-CIA agent, Kurt Kussler. Recently nominated for a Golden Globe. My stomach tightens. I may be a good actor. Have I lost it? Will I disappoint?

Now that I know the basics about myself, I click on several more gossipy sites, including E! Online, TMZ, and more of Perez Hilton. The long and the short of it…this is who I am: Professionally: Dedicated. Talented. A-list Actor. Personally: Arrogant. Self-centered. Pompous. Player.

I’ve read enough. I’ve got it. Whether I like it or not. Now, onto my fiancée. I google her name. She has almost as many results. There’s a Wiki bio and a short IMDb piece, but most of the entries are from online social registries and tabloids that are filled with news of our engagement and her vigil while I was in the hospital. The number of google images is countless, running the gamut from glamorous award shows and galas to endless selfies and paparazzi pics, including several with me. To my amazement, she’s never caught wearing the same thing twice.