Well, that was new.
“Harper—”
“I’m fine,” she cut him off. “And I need to use the bathroom.” She pulled away from him, heading for the attached bathroom and disappearing behind the door before she closed it.
Liam rolled to his back, staring at the ceiling and the spinning fan above him. Why was she lying to him?
* * *
The rest of the day passed in an unsettlingly slow pace. It was like Liam was watching from the sidelines as Harper started to build up that wall again. Brick by brick. But what was he supposed to do? Push her for answers? Ask her why she was lying to him?
She’d just had an emotional breakdown and the truth of the matter was being with him was the root of it. This lifestyle wasn’t easy, he knew that, but she hadn’t known it when this had all started.
She hadn’t been the only one hiding things in the beginning. When she hadn’t known who he was at that bar all those months ago, he’d ran with it. And he’d kept running with it that entire weekend.
The thing was, when it was just the two of them, it was just the two of them. There weren’t outside factors impacting what they had…at least not to this extent. Sure there’d been those stupid blog posts by that Bethelda woman, and that tabloid the week before. But in the end it was nothing to what they’d already worked through.
This though…this was different. This was Harper getting a taste of the life Liam had and the life they would have together.
Between what Celeste had told him when he’d gotten to the house the night before and the few things that Harper had told him, Liam knew that she’d gotten upset before anything that had to do with Kiki had happened. Whatever that woman had said had just been the icing on top of the shit cake.
And Harper wasn’t revealing anything else.
They’d gone back to the cabin late that morning, leaving when Celeste was called in to the hospital for a patient who was having complications. Liam was with Harper the entire day, but she was only there physically. Mentally? She was somewhere else entirely. She took a long nap that afternoon, clearly wanting to be alone. She barely ate anything, picking at her food and moving it around her plate like he wouldn’t notice.
After dinner, he cleaned up while she went to get a shower. The walls of the cabin were starting to make him feel claustrophobic, closing in on him as this beyond shitty day came to an end. So he poured himself a tumbler of whiskey before he headed outside to sit on the porch.
The sun was sitting low over the lake, and he grabbed one of the Adirondack chairs off to the side, putting his feet up on the banister that ran around the house.
He’d really thought coming up here would be good. They’d get a different ending than the last time they’d been in this cabin. He’d planned on proposing, that night in fact. He’d planned on recreating their first date…with a few minor alterations, like no gin and tonics.
Some things would’ve stayed the same, like the menu of food he’d made before. And he’d planned on singing “Forever” to her in the first place he’d ever performed it. But this time it would’ve been in its entirety and where she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him.
Love at first sound.
Yeah, none of that was going to happen.
Definitely not. Especially as he couldn’t deny the feeling that she was running again. That she’d experienced something she wasn’t sure she wanted.
And she wouldn’t talk to him about it. That was the part that was really killing him. The part that made him want to down the rest of the amber liquid in the glass that his hand was currently wrapped around.
Instead he took another sip before he set it on the table next to him.
The door behind him opened and he looked over his shoulder as Harper stepped out. She was wearing one of his oversized T-shirts and a pair of cotton shorts, her wet hair pulled over her shoulder in a braid.
“Can I sit with you?”
“Never have to ask that.” He pulled his feet from the banister as she crossed over to him. He held out his hand and she grabbed it, letting him help her as she settled into his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder, pressing her lips to his jaw.
They sat there for a good five minutes, Liam silently willing her to talk to him as he ran his hand up and down her back. His other hand rested on her thigh, tracing her knee in slow circles.
“I’m sorry we had to leave early yesterday,” she finally said.
Both of his hands stilled and he moved the one from her leg to her face, pushing her chin up gently until he saw her eyes. “You don’t need to apologize for that, Harper,” he said as he shook his head.
“The first half was really good.”
You mean the first half before something sent you into a panic attack so severe that you made yourself physically ill? Well, that’s good to know. But he couldn’t exactly say that now could he? So he just nodded.
“Sofia liked it. She was moving around more than ever when you were singing. She loves the sound of your voice.”
For just a second he forgot everything besides the words that had just come out of her mouth. For just a second all he could think about was that his daughter had been moving around in Harper’s belly while he’d been singing. For just a second all he could think about was that his daughter had been affected by the sound of his voice.
But only for just a second.
“Harper, what happened last night?”
Something flickered behind her violet eyes, and the small window that had been cracked for just a moment closed with a snap. “I told you. I just got overwhelmed. I—I’m fine now.”
He really wanted to ask her if she promised…but there was a part of him that believed she wouldn’t tell him the truth. He didn’t think he could handle it. Didn’t think he could survive her swearing on a lie.
And it killed him that he was pretty sure that was what was going to happen.
So he said nothing instead. He just nodded and did everything in his power to not lose it, because all he could think about was that he might be losing her. That he might be losing everything. Because in the end she was everything to him.
And it was that fact that he couldn’t get out of his head when they went to sleep that night. That fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about as he held Harper in his arms. That fact that he knew he had to fix.
Had to. There was no other option.
Now that he’d had her in his life there was no possibility of going back. Now that he’d tasted her lips, woken up with her in his arms, held her hand, felt their child move.
No going back…
At some point the thoughts of a life without her morphed into a nightmare. Him coming home to an empty house. Harper marrying another man. Them sharing custody of Sofia
God no.
* * *
Liam woke from his nightmare with a start and the second consciousness hit him, he knew he was alone. His arms were empty and even though the soft orange light from the pre-dawn glow of the sun was doing nothing besides showcasing the vacant side of the bed, he groped at the empty sheets.
Harper was gone.
No. No, that wasn’t right. She wouldn’t have left. There was no way.
He pulled the blankets from his body, forcing himself to wake up as he stumbled out of the room and down the hallway into the main part of the house.
Harper was on the opposite side of the kitchen, her back to him as she looked out the window at the lake. She had a glass of cranberry juice in her hand, and when she lifted it to her mouth it pulled the bottom of her T-shirt up, flashing just a glimpse of blue lace.
Liam stood there, staring at her as he repeatedly told himself she was here… in this cabin…not gone.
Not gone.
His heart was still pounding out of his chest and he hadn’t caught his breath. Her eyes landed on his reflection in the glass and she jumped just slightly as she spun around.