His world was crumbling around him, and his right hand began to tremble. “What am I supposed to do?”
Caleb sighed. “Go home. Get some rest. We’ll try again another day. We’ll fight this until we win, but right now I need to get to my office and find out how we were fucking blindsided in there.”
“In the meantime, she’ll die. They’ll kill her one way or the other. Didn’t you hear? She has seven million dollars on the line. Wonder how much they’ve made her sign away.”
“That’s a good idea. We can try to find out how much is left of it when we’re waiting on the appeal. That can prove motive.”
Taylor felt numb and physically beaten. He struggled to hold onto hope when he lost his whole reason for being. Unable to find reason in this insanity, he asked, “How long will the appeal take?”
“I don’t know. I’ll file for a new judge to hear the case.”
“Caleb, tell me there’s a possibility. That there’s a chance of winning here.”
“I’m not even sure what we’re fighting anymore.”
Fuck!
JUDE’S MOTHER APPROACHED Taylor and Caleb around the corner outside the courthouse. Taylor, surprised to see her coming his way, stopped. He saw sadness in her eyes, and he watched as she took a deep breath.
“My daughter would like to speak with you a moment.”
He didn’t know why she was speaking for Jude. Why could Jude not just come over to him? But like what his lawyer would advise, he knew she was told not to. He shook his head, disappointed and hurt that they now required a messenger between them. Looking over her shoulder for any sign of Jude, he asked, “Why were you on my side of the courtroom?”
“Because…” she glanced at Caleb, shifting uncomfortably, and whispered, “love should win.” She walked away, leaving that sentiment lingering long after.
Caleb warned, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I don’t care anymore.”
When Jude’s mother returned, Jude was on her arm arguing with her. As soon as she saw Hazel, she went silent, then broke down. Jude stood there in her wrinkled sundress with her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the devastation. When she looked up at him, she knew they weren’t going to have their happy ending. Too much pain. Too much slanderous torment had divided them.
But despite all the water that had passed under their decaying bridge, they stood there, their hearts still beating only for the other.
“Why aren’t you looking at me, Jude?” When she closed her eyes and put her hands over her face again, he demanded, “Look at me!”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No,” she cried. “I can’t. Please.”
“Please what? What are you doing? Are you siding with them?”
“I’m not siding with them. I’m not. I just can’t do this.”
“This? And by ‘this,’ you mean be with me?” Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“Taylor, pleas—”
“Don’t call me that. Don’t you fucking call me that!” He pointed his finger at her in anger. “You’re giving up. You’re giving up on us. Giving up on us is the same as you giving up on yourself. I can afford to fight this for as long as we need to fight. But I can’t do it without you.” He felt frantic and took her hands in his. She was warm, recalling a million other gentle touches from their past. “Jude, listen, I’m here, however you need me, but don’t think for a minute that us being apart is going to solve anything. We will always be stronger together. I’ll take care of it, Jude. I promise.”
She wished he would repeat that promise and make it come true, but she knew he couldn’t. And more importantly, she knew what she had to do to prevent any further damage, namely his. The deal she had made shrouded her heart and blocked her faith—her life for his.
Pulling her hands back, she turned her back to him. She couldn’t handle her own tears, so his tears would do her in completely. She cleared her throat and barely above a whisper, said, “I can’t be with you. I can’t handle my own problems, so I can’t take on yours.” He tore down the invisible wall she had built and took hold of her arm, spinning her around to face him again. “Go, Hazel. A better life awaits.”
“No.” He lifted her chin. “Look at me. You’re not going to fight? You’re just going to walk away from me?”
“I’m doing the best I can. You won’t understand, but it’s how things have to be.”
“Why? I know you. I know you think what you’re doing is right, but setting me free, telling me to go live my life without you is not what’s right. What have they done to you?”
Her tears slowed as she looked at him, really looked at him. “Did I ever tell you that you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, even on the saddest day I’ve ever known?”
“Jude, don’t do this. I need you here. Don’t close yourself off to me.”
“Please, Hazel.” She slipped when she called him the name she swore she wouldn’t anymore. That name held all her feelings in it and pain shot through her heart. “Please, just go with it.”
As he studied her face, her tears drying against her porcelain skin, he saw the wall firmly in place—whether for his protection or hers, he wasn’t sure, but he knew he wasn’t going to get her back on a busy street corner in New York City. So he gave in, knowing this was not the time for arguments, knowing she needed him to, and lightened their last moments together. “Not handsome?”
Jude touched his cheek, unable to stop herself. “One doesn’t stand before the ocean and call it handsome. We didn’t stare at the stars last April and say it was a handsome night. Love knows only the beauty of its power, not the intricacies of verses. So no, Hazel, you’re not handsome. You’re beautiful like the stars. You’re beautiful like the ocean. You’re beautiful like the love I feel for you.”
“This feels final,” he said, his fingers running up her arm until he was cupping her hand on his cheek. He had to try one last time despite the passersby. “I’ve designed a closet for you. It’s huge, the size of a bedroom. Just for you. For all the dresses you’ll own.”
“I’ll always live in that beautiful home, but it will be in my dreams.” Her hand dropped to her side and her heart finally stopped beating as she uttered the most painful six words she would ever speak, “This is where our story ends.”
Her ache was visceral. The sound of her heart breaking rang in her ears as shards filled her blood stream. She backed away, her chest barren of beats or purpose. Turning away from him and his impossible eyes, she needed to block him out as his tears welled like hers.
“Jude, no. Please,” he said, his words rushed, “I’m begging you. Choose me. Choose us.”
“You deserve a better life. You deserve the best life.” She stopped speaking, not wanting to say it. Jude knew she should, her own maddening reasoning that brought her here needing to be buried for him, for his happiness. “Everything about our lives dictates that maybe, maybe you should give Katherine a second chance.”
Sideswiped by her words, he stepped back from her. “What? What are you talking about?”
She would use anything to walk away from him, leaving him as unscathed as she could. “When you’re sick, she’ll hire the best nurses to care for you.”
Jude’s head dropped down as tears flooded her eyes again.
Too much pain.
The thought of him sick, the thought of a nurse caring for him, the thought of him spending his final days without her broke her.
Her mother touched Jude’s arm. “We’ve got to go. They’re looking for you.”
The harsh ticking of time chimed in their ears, rushing the last few seconds they had together. Jude said, “I tried to kill myself after Ryan died because I had nothing to live for any longer.”