He stared at me then closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. When he opened them again they were at my throat.
My heart started beating so fast I could feel it.
“No,” he said softly, “not now.” His hand at my hip moved, sliding down the side of my thigh to my knee. Then up again. Then back again. The slit of my gown having opened, this meant his gentle movements were skin against skin.
This felt nice. I didn’t want to admit it but my body wasn’t letting me deny it.
I ignored my body and whispered, “Why not now?”
“Your heart is beating too fast, my pet. If something could go wrong, which it won’t, that’s what would make it go wrong.”
“How do you know my heart’s beating too fast?”
“I can hear it.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
Of course he could. I would have probably learned that in class too.
“What could go wrong?” I asked.
He studied me likely weighing the wisdom of answering.
Then he said, “After you’ve had enough, I have to stop the blood from coming so I can heal the wound. If it’s pumping too much, I might not be able to do that.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” I whispered.
“It wouldn’t be,” he replied, his hand still stroking my thigh. “That’s why we need to calm you down.”
“I’m not sure that’ll work,” I admitted. “Me calming down, I mean.”
He slid his arm out from under his upper body but bent his elbow and put his head in his hand. This pressed his warm chest against my side and brought his face a whole lot closer to mine.
“Let’s try, shall we?” he suggested.
I didn’t want to try. In fact, I felt hope for the first time in a week. Actually, for the first time in four weeks, since I got my invitation to The Selection.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this tonight,” I tried. “Maybe we should try tomorrow night. Or,” I hesitated, “next week.”
Or never but I wasn’t going to go that far, not yet.
My very weak hope was dashed.
“I can’t,” he replied.
“Why not?”
He sighed and his hand stopped stroking my thigh. His fingers curled into my hip again and he rolled me to my side facing him as his legs came out from under mine and he stretched out full-length beside me. His arm moved around me, his hand sliding up my back to catch a tendril of hair and start playing with it.
“I’ll give you a little lesson you should have learned in studies,” he began with a disapproving tone before I could give into hyperventilating at our newer, far more intimate, position.
I pulled my lips between my teeth and nodded.
“Five weeks ago, I informed The Council I would be releasing my concubine and I’d need to attend A Selection. A week ago, three hours before I arrived at your Selection, she and I officially ended our Arrangement. By law I’m not allowed to feed until I have my new concubine. Not even at A Feast. This means I haven’t fed in a week. That’s a long time, my pet,” he finished on a whisper and then went right on whispering, “I need you. Tonight.”
I ignored his admission of need, which made me feel strangely aroused. What helped that arousal (too much), was the way he whispered, his deep voice soft and low and somehow physical.
Instead, I asked, “What’s a feast?”
His hand went from playing almost tenderly (all right, so it was tenderly, I couldn’t deny it) with my hair, to sliding down my back and drawing circles at its small.
That felt nice too, both my body and mind admitted it without delay or quarrel. It just felt nice. Really nice.
“That I’ll let your mother or Edwina explain,” he told me, still talking low.
“So you’re hungry?”
He nodded and answered, “Very.”
“Why do you have to wait? That seems stupid.”
Something passed across his face, annoyance, definitely, impatience also, frustration too, I was pretty certain. Then there looked to be defiance but that was so fleeting I couldn’t be sure.
“It isn’t smart, you’re correct, however it’s also the law,” he answered.
“Wouldn’t that make the first bloodletting, the initiation, rather dangerous if the vampire is hungry?”
I thought he’d lie.
Instead he agreed by saying, “Yes.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” I whispered and I could feel my heart, which had been slowing, start to speed up again.
“I was there when they wrote the law and I still don’t understand it.” He stopped speaking because I wasn’t listening.
I was panicking.
His head cocked slightly then his fingers ceased drawing on my back and his hand flattened, moving over my bottom and up to my hip.
“Leah, your heart,” he warned.
“I can’t help it!” I burst out. “You even admitted you were hungry. What if you can’t stop!”
“I’ll stop.”
“What if you can’t?”
“Leah, I’ll stop.”
I shook my head and started to pull away but his hand slid down my hip, over my bottom again but this time to cup it and he pulled me closer, pressing my hips into his.
He was aroused too, very aroused, I felt it immediately. And his arousal made me even more aroused. It was insane but it was true.
Oh my God. What was wrong with me?
I stilled against his body and my eyes caught his in shock.
His face came close, his mouth barely a breath from mine before he promised, “I won’t hurt you.”
“You can’t help it.”
“I can.”
“Please don’t do this,” I whispered my plea.
He drew a breath in his nostrils and his black eyes, so close, lost focus.
“God, you smell sweet,” he murmured.
“Lucien.”
When I said his name, his eyes came back into focus and they were more intense than ever.
“You’ll like it,” he told me softly.
I shook my head. My panic was keeping pace with my arousal. He was turning me on and scaring me to death at the same time. How, I didn’t know, but he was doing it.
It was as if he sensed this and he liked it. He liked it too much, I could tell because his eyes started burning and that turned me on too.
“In a week, you’ll be begging me for it,” he said quietly.
My pulse spiked and my breath went ragged. His eyes flared.
“Calm, my pet,” he murmured, his hand pressing into my behind, his hips starting to grind against mine.
That felt good too.
My lips parted, my breasts swelled and my nipples went hard, all at the same time a rush of warmth flooded between my legs.
In a second I was going to kiss him. I had to. It wasn’t even my choice. I wasn’t in control of myself. This wasn’t mind games. This wasn’t even head games. This was all me.
My eyes dropped to his mouth.
“Leah,” he called but I couldn’t tear my eyes from his mouth and my hips started moving against his.
“Leah, stop, you’re making this harder on me,” he warned and his hand at my ass moved up my back.
But I couldn’t stop. I was driven, for some reason out-of-control.
It was then I made a near fatal mistake.
In an effort to get closer, I hooked my leg over his hip.
The instant I did, his head jerked down nearly colliding with mine and he glanced down between our bodies in the direction of my lap.
I heard him draw another breath through his nostrils. This one seemed urgent, primal, animal.
When his head shot back up, I saw his eyes were blazing.
Hungry.
Hungry.
Hungry.
Hunger was written all over his face.
“Fuck,” he growled, rolled over me, pinned my upper body with his colossal weight, one of his arms wrapped around me creating a warm, tight cage and two things happened at once.