They finally pulled in her driveway, and before she could even unbuckle her seatbelt, David was opening her door and helping her out. He was as much of a mess as she was, and it broke Kate’s heart. He kept his hand on the small of her back and guided her into the house. Laura took the blanket she’d been wrapped in, and David stayed with her as she walked into the kitchen.
Kate turned to him and took his hand. “I’m okay.”
“Promise me you’ll take it easy.” His eyes were dark and sad.
“I promise.” Her other hand came up and touched his face. “But you have to go if you have any hope of making your game.”
“I feel like I shouldn’t leave you.”
“David, Laura’s here. Go. I’ll see when you get back.” She said it, but didn’t think it would happen. Kate figured this would be the last time he would be this close.
“Okay. I’ll call.” He turned to Laura. “Make sure she doesn’t do too much for a couple of days.”
“I’ll try.” Laura looked at her and knew immediately that Kate was barely holding on.
“You have all the numbers?” he asked again.
Laura nodded. “The doctor, the pharmacy, your cell, your sister, Julie, my aunt… everyone.”
Satisfied, David pulled Kate close, wrapping her in his arms. She slipped her arms around his waist and lost herself in the feel of him. This was goodbye. It was possibly the last time he would hold her like this, the last time she would look into his face and see him smile just for her.
“Have a safe trip, and Merry Christmas.”
He hugged her again. “Merry Christmas. I’ll call you later on.”
He glanced at her as he walked away and again before he left through the kitchen door.
When he’d gone, Kate turned wordlessly from Laura and headed upstairs. She had suffered such unfairness in her life—losing her husband, having to fight for her daughter—but this pain she felt was so acute, so overwhelming, she thought it would consume her. She could barely breathe, and the heaviness in her chest told her this was different from anything she’d gone through before. When she sat on her bed, the first gasping breath came, and then the first great sob escaped.
This was heartbreak.
When Richard left, Kate imagined nothing could ever hurt more than that. She was wrong. Richard betrayed her. He left her feeling inadequate and insecure, but it was nothing compared to what she felt at that moment.
She’d lost her baby and she was going to lose David. Her throat tightened and another sob escaped. Kate fell onto her pillows and let go, allowing the sadness to take hold. Both of them were gone. Her baby, and the man she’d fallen in love with. The tears seemed endless and Kate gave in to them. She didn’t stop thinking about David, or her lost child, until she felt someone’s weight settle on the bed behind her.
Kate turned her head and saw Laura, tears in her own eyes, sitting on the bed. Laura reached out and stroked her mother’s hair.
For a long time, Laura stayed with her, doing nothing more than rubbing her back. As much as Kate wanted to be comforted by her daughter, she was thinking about David and it was killing her.
“Mom, come downstairs. We’ll eat crap and watch a stupid movie.”
She sniffed and grabbed the box of tissues on her night table. Slowly, because she was still tired, she rolled on her back and sat up. Her breathing was shaky, and big, soggy tears rolled down her face. She mopped them up with a wad of tissues and looked at her daughter. “I guess the hormones are making a mess of things.”
“Partially, but you know, it’s okay to be sad.” Laura laid her head on Kate’s shoulder. “I’m sad.”
“You are?”
Laura nodded. “It would have been cool having a little brother or sister.”
“It was never my intention that you be an only child.”
Sitting up straight, her daughter looked her straight in the eyes. “I know that now.”
“So,” Kate asked. “Why didn’t you tell them?”
Laura glanced over and let the question hang there for a while. Kate could see she was thinking. When Laura answered, her voice was steady and unapologetic, and a twitch of a smile teased the corner of her mouth. “It was none of their fuckin’ business.”
Kate let go a watery laugh when she heard Laura repeat her words exactly. “I’m sure they aren’t happy they didn’t know.”
Laura shrugged. “I’m not happy he lied to me.”
Kate smiled. “I never thought we’d be having this conversation.”
“Me either.” Laura reached over the side of the bed and came up with a bag of Double Stuff Oreos. She ripped the bag open, took two of the cookies and passed it to her mother. “But to be honest, it was when you stood up to me that everything changed.”
“Why is that?” Kate took a cookie from the package, twisted it open, and licked the cream inside the cookie.
“You fought back. His version wasn’t the only thing I heard.”
That made Kate think. Should she be fighting?
“I was such a bitch, Mom. I’m sorry.” Laura reached out and hugged her mother. “You didn’t deserve it.”
Kate held her daughter and didn’t question the turn of events, didn’t try to figure out why things had happened the way they did. Maybe she had to worry less about doing what she thought was the right thing, and needed to trust her instincts. She started questioning that inner voice a long time ago, when Richard made her question everything about who she was, what she did, and what she believed. Maybe trusting her instincts would help her find herself again.
“So tell me about David.” Laura grinned at her mother and settled back with the cookies.
Kate breathed deep and felt the tears start to well up again. “I don’t know that there’s much to tell anymore. He’s been amazing since I told him I was pregnant. I don’t know what’ll happen now.”
Laura reached out and rubbed her back. “He cares about you. He really does.”
“You think so?”
Laura nodded and leaned her head on Kate’s shoulder. “Do you love him?”
Kate thought for a second, thought about all those inner voices, and nodded in response. “I’m a complete goner.”
Laura passed the cookies and the two ate in silence for a while. Things wouldn’t be easy for them, but Kate felt she and Laura finally had a beginning.
“Did you love Daddy?”
Kate looked down at her. “When I married him, I loved him with all my heart.” That was the truth. She did love Richard. He was her world, but he never respected her.
“What happened?”
This was the first time Laura ever asked her about the divorce.
Kate wasn’t ready to tell her everything, but she could tell her some. “There were so many things that went wrong, but I guess it all came down to the fact that he never thought I was good enough for him. He never loved me. He wanted to own me.”
“You’re good enough for David, and I think he loves you.”
Kate could only hope. “I guess time will tell. I’m not counting on it, though.”
Laura turned and focused her gaze. “Last night, after you fell asleep, I saw how he was. He sat next to your bed, and stroked your hair. He whispered the sweetest things. The guy was wrecked and it was all about you, Mom. He was worried about you.” Kate drew a deep breath as Laura continued. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was pretty amazing.”
A single tear rolled over her cheek, but this time it was her feelings for David that were coming to the surface. What Laura saw, that kind of love, was the fairy tale. It was the love story, and it was all Kate had ever wanted. He was all she wanted. Just thinking about the possibility was too much to hope for. It took a few minutes to compose herself, then she refocused on something trivial, something she could control. Kate tapped the package of Oreos. “These need milk.”
“I agree. Kitchen?”
The cookies were nothing, but the change between them was significant and not lost on either one. Kate, however, continued to be moved by Laura’s words. “Thank you for telling me.”