“You deserve to be happy. Daddy wasn’t good to you, and I wasn’t either. You deserve better.”
And with those words, Laura left the room. Kate, in spite of everything that had happened, felt more hopeful than she had in years.
*
David sat in the dressing room between periods and his mind wasn’t on the game. It had taken him two hours to get from Kate’s house to his. He picked up his bag and drove to the arena. Tonight’s game against the Canadiens was sold out, but there were only a few hundred people in the stands because of the weather. They were winning and he didn’t care.
His teammates all knew what had happened. He guessed Jay or Cam told them because he kept getting quiet looks of condolence or pats on the back. No one knew what to say. He was sure half the guys thought he’d gotten lucky. No baby meant he was off the hook with Kate. But David felt anything but lucky. She’d come back to him because of the baby; now that she’d miscarried, he was afraid she’d want him out of her life again. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to find some way to let her know how he felt about her.
After the game, they would board a bus to the airport, and hopefully be able to fly to Boston for tomorrow’s game against the Bruins. If not, they would be stuck at the airport. All he wanted to do was curl around Kate and get over what had happened. Physically, she had to recover, but it was the emotional piece that was going to hurt long term. And for that, David knew they needed each other.
When he thought about it, David had a hard time processing how he’d changed since he met her. Something made him take that stupid bet in California and approach her. He’d been issued challenges like that before and he’d blown them off… but something made him accept.
Something made her worth the effort.
She’d made him reassess his whole existence, made him understand he didn’t have to be the person he was. Kate needed him, too. He’d been poking around on the Internet and found video of her skating when she was just seventeen. She was a younger version of herself. The smile was wide and there was complete joy in every movement. In the late eighties, triple jumps were just becoming part of a ladies skating program, but Kate had mastered them. It was risky, but based on what he read about her, young Katie Adams wasn’t happy unless she was taking risks.
David spent enough time around ice rinks to know there were two types of women who skated: those who were graceful and those who were athletic. Watching a graceful skater was like seeing a ballet dancer on ice. Watching an athletic skater was like watching controlled explosions. When she was competing, Kate was both.
He had to help her see the person she used to be was still inside her, because if Kate didn’t find her again, David knew he had no chance. She would close herself off to the risk he represented, and that would be it.
David jolted out of his trance when Jack Nelson slapped his shoulder pads. “How’s it goin’, Padre?”
Truthfully, he didn’t know how he was. His brain and his heart felt numb.
“Pretty shitty, man.”
Jack nodded and David saw the kid didn’t know what to say. Hell, he didn’t know what to say either, so he shrugged and then changed the subject. “When are we meeting this girl of yours, Nelly?”
Jack frowned. “Maybe never. She’s not answering my calls or my texts.”
The kid had only been seeing the girl for a couple of months, but he talked about her all the time and spent as much free time with her as he could. He said she was a college student, but that was the only information David had gotten out of him so far. The other guys were ripping on him about her being imaginary. The thing was, unless she showed up soon, David might believe that himself. “Did you have a fight?”
“No, but I may have pushed her too hard.”
It took a second for David to catch his meaning. “Oh…”
Jack made a face. “I like her, but I don’t know; she’s very naïve, innocent.”
It was David’s turn to slap his young teammate’s back. “Is she worth the effort?”
Jack nodded. “I think so, yeah.”
“Then hang on to her. If she makes you happy, don’t let her get away.” David stood, pulled on his helmet, and picked up his stick. “Come on. Let’s go win this for the three hundred people who showed up tonight.”
Jack nodded and followed David out of the dressing room.
*
Laura had no idea what she was going to do about Jack now that she was going to be staying with her Mom. He’d called her at least ten times that day and left half a dozen voice mails. He texted her asking if she was okay and she didn’t answer any of them. She checked the clock. He was on his way to Boston now, and with his games and the holidays, he wouldn’t be back in town for a week. The thought just about killed her.
The right thing to do was tell him the truth. That would solve the problem of seeing him, because it would end their relationship. But just thinking about losing him made breathing a little bit harder.
Laura wiped a tear. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she opened the photo album. There was a picture of the two of them she’d snapped when they’d been out in the city last week. She ran her hand over the image and felt the first tear fall, then another. Pretty soon, she was muffling her cries into her pillow. She didn’t want to wake her mother, didn’t want to answer questions. But Laura couldn’t keep this secret forever, from Jack or anyone else.
Now though, he was still hers. She opened his last text and started a reply. “Sorry. Family emergency today. All ok now. I miss you. <3” Laura sent the text, hoping when he arrived in Boston and turned on his phone, he’d smile, just a little, when he thought of her.
*
Kate took off from work on Monday, but felt well enough on Tuesday to go in. It was the last day before the Christmas break, the school looked beautiful and festive, and everyone was a in a good mood. The faculty members had organized their traditional breakfast, and she enjoyed being with her friends and being away from constant thoughts of David and her baby. Only Julie had known she had been pregnant, so no one offered any condolences or sympathy. It was exactly the break Kate needed.
She felt better today. She was still moody; less so, but she assumed work was helping her keep her moods in check. Her body was healing itself, and in some ways, it was sad to think about. In a week or two, there would be nothing left of the child she’d grown to want so much. But like so many things in her life, Kate was learning to live with the disappointment.
The last day before Christmas, she had a tradition with her classes. She pitched her usual lessons to the wind, which wasn’t to say she didn’t do anything. Kate first set the mood with boxes and boxes of candy canes. She always wore her favorite red sweater, popped a Santa hat on her head, and then, armed with her favorite Christmas picture books; Kate held story time in English class. Her two favorites were How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Polar Express. Very different books, but both captured the magic of the season Kate loved so much.
When she’d finished reading both books to her tenth grade literature class, she spent the last few minutes before the bell sucking on a candy cane and talking with the kids about where they were spending their vacations. Some were going skiing, though the venues varied among Vail, Aspen, and the Alps. Other kids were going to warmer climates, like Barbados, Aruba, and Hawaii. A few were staying home and seeing family, and she knew those kids were going to have the best times of all.
The bell rang and she said goodbye to her class, getting hugs from some kids, the usual holiday wishes from others, and not a second look from a few. She smiled. Already she could see which kids would get out of their own heads and which would continue to think the world revolved around them. Stuffing her papers in her portfolio, she made her way down the dark paneled hallway to the faculty room to see if there was anything left to nibble on. Kate knew all the holiday sweets would go right to her hips, but some things were worth the calories, and Julie’s butter cookies were on the top of that list.