Susan called in, “Throw some snakes out.”
“No snakes. But be careful and don’t touch the walls.”
She squeezed into the pillbox and stood beside me. She said, “Yuck. It smells.”
“We kept these things very clean, but no one’s been here since 1975.”
Gray light came in through the firing slits, and I kept the flashlight moving to pick out anything I didn’t want to come in contact with.
Susan said, “Where’s your name?”
I moved the flashlight slowly across the round walls, and I stopped the beam at a grouping of names. I moved closer, avoiding the spiderwebs, and focused the beam on the names scratched into the concrete. They were all French names, and there was a date of Avril 1954. I seemed to remember these names and the date, which in 1968, was only fourteen years before, but to me, an eighteen-year-old kid who had been four years old when the French Indochina War ended, this seemed like the writings of an ancient army. Now, I realized the proximity of the two wars and the passage of time since.
Susan said, “Someone wrote something under the four names. See that?”
I placed the beam on the French words. “It says, ‘This place sucks.’”
“No, it doesn’t.” She moved closer and read the French, “Les quatre amis, les âmes perdues — four friends, lost souls.”
I moved the beam around and stopped at the name of Sal Longo. I said, “This man was in my platoon. He was killed in the A Shau Valley… incredible…”
I found my name, etched into the concrete with the tip of my beer can opener. The letters were barely legible, covered with black mildew. I stared at Paul Brenner’s name, followed by the date of 11 Jan 68.
Susan looked at where the beam had come to rest and said, “That’s amazing.”
“Better here than on the Wall in Washington.”
I looked at my name awhile, then moved the light around and saw a few other names I recognized, and some I didn’t. Someone had scratched a heart and arrow in the wall that said Andy and Barbara, forever. If that was Andy Hall, then forever arrived in May 1968, also in the A Shau. Basically, Delta Company, my company, had ceased to be an effective fighting unit after that three weeks, and the survivors almost all got another stripe on their sleeves, what the army called rapid battlefield promotions, but which we called blood stripes.
I took Susan’s arm and led her to the entrance.
We stood outside under the overcast sky and Susan said, “I can’t believe that. There was your name written almost thirty years ago… and those French soldiers… it’s sort of… sad… almost creepy… I mean, I know some of those men didn’t make it back.”
I nodded.
We walked back to the RAV and continued south on the Street Without Joy.
We passed an airstrip on our left that I recalled was the Quang Tri airport, which was where the army kept their small observation and reconnaissance aircraft. The airstrip was abandoned now and grass grew through the concrete. The control tower had disappeared and so had a huge French watchtower that had been right near the airstrip. I recalled that the concrete watchtowers had once dotted the landscape, but I hadn’t seen a single one so far. In fact, every substantial landmark that I remembered — schools, churches, pagodas, French and American fortifications — had disappeared.
I said to Susan, “Most of this area was damaged during the Tet Offensive, but they were rebuilding when I left. It looks like nothing survived the Easter Offensive of ’72, or the final offensive of 1975.”
She said, “That pillbox survived.”
“Hey, I should have spent the whole fucking war in there.”
Up ahead, on the left side of the road, I saw a big, ruined concrete building that I could tell had not been hit by bombs or artillery because most of the roof was intact. The damage had been caused by what appeared to be a vicious firefight. The walls were pockmarked with bullet holes, and there were distinctive small round holes in the thick walls where concrete-piercing rockets had entered the building and exploded inside, leaving scorch marks on the interior walls. It took me a minute to recognize this as the Buddhist high school, the place where Tran Van Vinh wrote the letter to his brother.
Susan said, “Oh, my God. Look at that building.”
I said, “A Buddhist high school.”
Susan seemed fascinated by the war ruin and took a photo. She said, “You don’t see any war-damaged buildings like this around Saigon — hey, look. A tank.”
Beyond the high school on the side of the road was a huge M-48 Patton tank, the olive drab paint still looking good after thirty years. I should get some of that paint for my exterior house trim.
Susan told Mr. Loc to stop, and he did. She said to me, “Go sit on the tank.”
“You go sit on the tank. I’ve sat on enough tanks.” I took the camera from her.
She jumped out of the vehicle and scrambled up the sloping rear of the tank. She was athletic and agile, I noticed, and climbed like a tomboy.
She got up on the turret and sat cross-legged. I took a picture and said, “I wish all the tank crews looked like you.”
She hammed it up for the camera, and I took a few more shots as she posed, lying and standing on the derelict tank.
She jumped down and walked back to the RAV.
I pointed to the east, where a wall of low hills rose out of the flatlands, about five kilometers away. I said, “I was in those hills on the night the Tet Offensive began at the end of January. We were constructing yet another firebase, and about ten that night we could see what we thought were fireworks, but then we realized it was something else. The radios came alive and reported an enemy attack on Quang Tri City. We were put on full alert and as the night went on, we got reports that Quang Tri City and Hue had been taken from the South Vietnamese troops and that our brigade headquarters, called Landing Zone Betty, which was on the edge of Quang Tri City, was under siege.”
I looked around. “Our main base camp was called Landing Zone Sharon, and it was around here somewhere, but I don’t see any sign of it.” I stared out toward the hills. “So that’s where I celebrated Tet 1968, the Year of the Monkey.” I added, “It was not a lucky year for anyone.”
She said, “This year will be much better.”
We jumped in the RAV, and off we went.
Another hundred meters up Highway One, Mr. Loc turned left where the railroad station used to be, onto a two-lane road that I remembered led to Quang Tri City, about a mile off Highway One. The road was flanked by small wood and thatch houses surrounded by vegetable plots. There were trees here, but probably none that predated the 1972 battle. I said to Susan, “This road used to be lined with vendors selling things to GIs.”
“Like what?”
“Mostly stuff they’d stolen from us. You could buy it back here.”
Mr. Loc stopped the car, then looked around. He said something to Susan, and she said to me, “This is Quang Tri, and the citadel of the city used to be somewhere there to the left.”
I looked to the left, but there was nothing there except more small houses, bamboo fences, gardens, and chickens.
Susan and Mr. Loc spoke, and she said to me, “He thinks the moat of the Citadel is still there, and a villager can direct us.”
“Okay. We’ll be about an hour.”
Susan took the camera out of the bag, spoke to Mr. Loc, and we jumped out. Mr. Loc reached back into the rear, handed Susan the tote, and said something.
We started down a dirt path between vegetable gardens and small houses that were made of bits and pieces of the vanished city and the fortifications that had once been here. I saw chunks of concrete and bullet-riddled wooden planks, and the corrugated metal that the Americans used for barracks roofs, and the green plastic sandbags from disassembled bunkers, and garden paths made of red roof tile. The ruined city and the fortifications had been recycled by the peasants.