Desjani nodded as her laughter faded. “My honor is the thing of greatest value that I possess. That I used to possess. I know you will not use it against me, and I know it is safe in your hands. But there have been times when it felt like my honor was all I had left. I regret losing it.”
“Then I promise you that I will keep your honor safe until I can return it.”
“But … it was given. To my shame … but it was given.” Geary shook his head. “I want to return your honor, and you want me to keep it. There’s a way to do both if that’s what you want.”
“How could I have both—?” She seemed shocked, looking away for a moment before focusing back on him. “You mean that?”
“I can’t come out and say how I feel, just like you can’t, not until this war is over and I’m no longer your commanding officer, but I swear on the honor of my ancestors that I meant it.”
Desjani blinked, swallowed again, then gave Geary a stern look. “You must know something, Captain John Geary. Right now you are my fleet commander, and I do as you say and defer to you. You are on a divine mission, and while that lasts, I will follow you to hell itself on your command. But when all is done and the war is over, a man would come to me with my honor and himself. Not like any other man, not even then, but a man, and I will not be subordinate to any man in my own life or my own home. I will only have a man as a partner, an equal, to be beside me in all things. Any man must agree to that if he someday wishes to share a life with Tanya Desjani.”
Geary nodded. “Any man who really knew Tanya Desjani would gladly commit to those conditions and promise to honor them.”
She gazed back at him, then smiled. “It is very hard, and I fear that it’ll be harder still before all is done. But when the day comes that your mission is fulfilled, I will accept my honor back and all that comes with it.”
All he had to do was get the fleet the rest of the way home and win the war that had been raging for a century. But he’d never thought he could get this far, do what he’d been able to do. If he could somehow end the war, end the deaths …And, for the first time since he’d been awakened from survival sleep, he knew without any doubt that he had something other than duty to live for. They’d talked around it, they might never again discuss it even indirectly while the war lasted, but they each knew how the other felt and what they’d promised each other. “In that case, Captain Desjani, let’s take a look at the star display and figure out our next move on the way home. We’ve got a fleet to save and a war to end.”
APPENDIX
The Alliance Fleet
CAPTAIN JOHN GEARY,
Commanding (acting)
As reorganized following the losses suffered immediately prior to Captain Geary assuming command in the Syndic home system.
Ship names in bold are those lost in action, with the name of star system of their loss given afterward.
SECOND BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Gallant
Indomitable
Glorious
Magnificent
THIRD BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Paladin
Orion
Majestic
Conqueror
FOURTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Warrior
Triumph (lost at Vidha)
Vengeance
Revenge
FIFTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Fearless
Resolution
Redoubtable
Warspite
SEVENTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Indefatigable (lost at Lakota)
Audacious (lost at Lakota)
Defiant (lost at Lakota)
EIGHTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Relentless
Reprisal
Superb
Splendid
TENTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Colossus
Amazon
Spartan
Guardian
FIRST SCOUT BATTLESHIP DIVISION
Arrogant (lost at Kaliban)
Exemplar
Braveheart
FIRST BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Courageous
Formidable
Intrepid
Renown (lost at Lakota)
SECOND BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Leviathan
Dragon
Steadfast
Valiant
FOURTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Dauntless (flagship)
Daring
Terrible (lost at Ilion)
Victorious
FIFTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Invincible (lost at Ilion)
Repulse (lost in Syndic home system)
Furious
Implacable
SIXTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Polaris (lost at Vidha)
Vanguard (lost at Vidha)
Illustrious
Incredible
SEVENTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION
Opportune
Brilliant
Inspire
THIRD FAST FLEET AUXILIARIES DIVISION
Titan
Witch
Jinn
Goblin
Thirty-seven surviving heavy cruisers in seven divisions
First Heavy Cruiser Division
Third Heavy Cruiser Division
Fourth Heavy Cruiser Division
Fifth Heavy Cruiser Division
Seventh Heavy Cruiser Division
Eighth Heavy Cruiser Division
Tenth Heavy Cruiser Division
minus
Invidious (lost at Kaliban)
Cuirass (lost at Sutrah)
Crest, War-Coat, Ram, and Citadel (lost at Vidha)
Basinet and Sallet (lost at Lakota)
Sixty-two surviving light cruisers in ten squadrons
First Light Cruiser Squadron
Second Light Cruiser Squadron
Third Light Cruiser Squadron
Fifth Light Cruiser Squadron
Sixth Light Cruiser Squadron
Eighth Light Cruiser Squadron
Ninth Light Cruiser Squadron
Tenth Light Cruiser Squadron
Eleventh Light Cruiser Squadron
Fourteenth Light Cruiser Squadron