“How does she know?”
“She didn’t tell me, but she does. And you see, it justifies her. She said how dangerous it was, and it couldn’t possibly be allowed to go on. Everything she said was reasonable and just what anyone would say. But that wasn’t why she said it. It was just something she’d got to make me come to heel and do what she wanted. Do you see now why I had to get out of the house? I couldn’t see Jenny until I got hold of myself. I couldn’t tell her she was going to be sent away-I don’t know how to tell her now.”
He had had his arm round her all this time, and she had let it stay. It crossed his mind to wonder if she so much as knew that it was there. He put both hands on her shoulders now and let her feel their weight.
“Rosamond, stop talking! If you go on saying there isn’t anything to be done, there won’t be. It’s quite futile. If you’ll stop panicking and listen to me, there’s a perfectly simple way out of all this. I should just like to feel that you are going to listen before I tell you about it.”
“I’m listening.”
“Well, to start with, I don’t know whether you happen to remember that I’ve asked you to marry me. You didn’t say yes, and you didn’t say no, and I didn’t want to rush you. I still don’t want to-I’d like you to believe that. But events seem to be taking charge, and that would be one way of getting the better of them. If we were married there wouldn’t be any problem to settle-we could just take Jenny and go. I’ve got a house, and I’ve got a job. It’s all as simple as the ABC. But it depends on what you feel about it. I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned that I love you, but I don’t think you can have helped noticing it. I fell in love with your picture, and I fall farther and faster every time I see you. I know myself pretty well, and as far as I am concerned it will just go on like that. I’m not putting in any sobstuff, because we’ve got to use our heads. Now what about your side of it? I think I gave you a brief catalogue of my faults. Anyhow you will have noticed them for yourself by now. All I can say is what I think I’ve said before, I’ll look after you, and I’ll look after Jenny. And I’ll eat my hat if I’m not easier to live with than Lydia Crewe. What about it?”
Rosamond found it hard to believe that she could be shaking on the edge of laughter, but right from the beginning, even when he was saying the most outrageous things, even when he was making her angry, there had been a hidden spring of laughter bubbling up and threatening her self-control. If she let it have its way it would drown all the feelings of pride and self-respect to which she had been brought up. You can’t laugh at someone and be proud at the same time. The two things just don’t mix. When he said, “What about it?” it came over her how easy it would be just to say yes and let go of all her troubles.
He bent suddenly and laid his cheek against hers, not kissing her but just staying like that for a moment. When he said her name on a quick shaken breath, she pushed him away.
“You can’t, you can’t! It wouldn’t be fair!”
“To me, or to you?”
“To you of course!”
“Thank you, I can look after myself. We’re not driving a bargain, you know. We’re talking about getting married-to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part. And that’s quite a different sort of thing. It means there are two of you to take whatever comes along, and if they are bad times there are two of you to take them on, and if they are good times, there are two of you to share them. It’s not a matter of being fair or unfair. I’m in it up to my neck, and all you can do about it is to stay high and dry on the bank yourself. Only I warn you I shall never stop trying to pull you in.”
She said with something between a sob and a laugh, “Oh, I’m in all right,” and felt his arms close about her. There were no more words. She put up her face and they kissed, and it was the happiest, most natural thing in the world. It was like coming home after you have been out in the wind and the rain. It was like a fire-lit room when you have been cold for a long, long time. It was like food when you are hungry, and water to quench your thirst.
He became aware that his face was wet with her tears. He said,
“Rosamond, why are you crying? It’s all over-there’s nothing to cry about now.”
“That’s why-”
“My darling idiot!”
“Yes-I am rather. There hasn’t been anyone-for such a long time-” She was groping for a handkerchief and not being very successful.
“Here-have mine.”
It was large and dry and clean. Tears were all very well in one of Gloria Gilmore’s books, but in real life they made a sight of you and you had to blow your nose.
“Better now?”
She stuffed the handkerchief down into the pocket of the old tweed coat. He could just see the movement of her head which meant “Yes.”
“Well, my sweet, that being that, suppose we get down to brass tacks. You’re not the sort that faints when you have a shock, are you?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Because it would be damned inconvenient, and the ground is sure to be wet.”
“Craig-what is it?”
“Well, nothing much-nothing to get the jitters about anyway. It’s just that I want you to marry me tomorrow.”
It wasn’t a shock at all-it just fitted in. But she heard herself say,
“We couldn’t!”
“Darling, that’s where you make a mistake. I went to see my uncle’s solicitor in Melbury yesterday morning and got all the low-down. I am of age, you are of age, and the registrar has to have one clear day’s notice. I went on to see him, and we can get married tomorrow morning at half past ten. We can have a church wedding afterwards if you want to. It takes a bit longer, which is why I plumped for the registrar.”
“Craig-”
“Darling, you had better let me do the talking. I’ve been getting steadily more enraged every day since I first came down here. You are not only being overworked and bullied, but there are all sorts of things going on in the background. Two people have disappeared in this village. One of them has certainly been murdered, and the other probably. Jenny gets out and wanders about in the middle of the night. And now Miss Crewe wants to pack her off to a school no one knows anything about. As things are, she would have public opinion on her side, and you can’t fight her alone. I’ve got no standing and I couldn’t do a thing, but once we were married it would be a very different pair of shoes. Miss Crewe isn’t Jenny’s guardian or anything like that, I take it?”
“Oh, no.”
“Then we can just take her and go, and nobody can say a word about it. But we can’t do anything until I’ve got the legal right to take you away. I won’t rush you afterwards, and I don’t want to rush you now, but you must give me the right to look after you both. Once I’ve got that, it’s all plain sailing. Rosamond, I’ve got to get you away!”
She had walked in the wood so many times and been solaced there. Now all at once it was a cold and desolate place. She wanted to be where there were lights and people. She wanted to be anywhere in the world away from Crewe House, and from Lydia Crewe. She couldn’t look after Jenny by herself, but Craig would look after them both.
CHAPTER 28
At about half past two on that same afternoon Nicholas looked up from the plan he was drawing. Howard, who was Mr. Burlington’s secretary and whom he didn’t much like, had come noiselessly between him and the light. As the scale to which he was working was a very small one and demanded absolute accuracy, he was annoyed, and showed it. Super secretaries who oiled around and suddenly sprang themselves upon you could hardly expect to be popular. Howard was not only not popular, he was detested. He looked down his long sallow nose and said, “Mr. Burlington would like to see you, Cunningham,” and stood waiting with rather the air of a warder for Nicholas to get to his feet. He did not, however, accompany him any farther than the door of Mr. Burlington’s private room, where he withdrew in a disapproving manner, leaving him to go in alone.