The thought made it hard to maintain hope. Some traps were perfect, some enemies all-powerful … and some people were born to be crushed, as the Pale had been beaten down these past thousand years. Even if she got away, even if she discovered her enemy’s name and where he dwelt, what could she do? She was neither fit nor ready. She would never be ready.
She fought down the despair, the surety that her quest was impossible and that she was a tiny fly trapped in a gigantic web. Clearly, her enemy needed something from her, and she was determined to stop him getting it.
‘Trees!’ yelled Rannilt, half an hour later. ‘Tali, we’re nearly through.’
Some distance ahead, a flat-topped mound covered in tall palm trees and shrubbery made a green blister on the ravaged flatlands. ‘It’s just an …’ Tali had to dredge up the right word, ‘ … an oasis. But at least there’s shade, and maybe good water.’
And, she hoped, relief from the endless open spaces that so panicked her.
They wove through tall, dense shrubbery, and the moment Tali lost sight of the horizon the pressure eased. High above, a canopy of palm fronds hid most of the sky, and it wasn’t rocking. Her pulse slowed to normal; the dread faded. They pushed through the bushes to a deep, heart-shaped pool touched by slanting sunbeams and surrounded by tus-socks of coarse grass.
‘Will we get to Caulderon tonight?’ said Rannilt.
The girl had no sense of distance, but then, how could she have? ‘Not at this rate.’ Tali scooped a handful of water, which tasted fresh. She drank, then worked the healing charm again. It helped, though only a little. ‘In the morning, if my legs hold out.’
She wasn’t looking forward to it. As soon as she went out into the open, the phobia would return. Tali felt a momentary pang; she had never felt this insecure in Cython.
What? her other self cried. You spent your whole life trying to escape, and now you want to go back?
‘Are you all right?’ said Rannilt.
Tali came back to reality. ‘I expected too much,’ she said absently. ‘I thought once we escaped, our troubles would be over.’
‘But we’re free. What can go wrong now?’
Tali smiled at the girl’s naivety. She scratched her itching head and could hardly force her fingers through her hair. Sweat had caked it with dust from the sunstone implosion; she was covered in it and spotted with Banj’s blood.
She looked longingly at the pool. Uncleanliness was not permitted in Cython, and being so dirty felt disgusting. Besides, she rationalised, no proud lady of House vi Torgrist could present herself to her people looking like a filthy tramp.
‘Rannilt, can you do an important job for me?’
‘Yes, Tali.’
‘Can you keep watch while I bathe? You’ll have to be careful, though.’
‘Yes, Tali.’ Rannilt’s eyes were glowing. All it took was a little kindness.
Tali washed her dusty gown in the pool and spread it over a rock to dry. It was beautiful and would make her feel like a lady of House vi Torgrist. Wearing it would also symbolise putting her slave past behind her. Then she scrubbed herself clean, combed her hair with her fingers, donned the gown, still damp, and felt sure she looked her best. She did feel like a lady, just a little.
Never again would she be a slave, or serve unwillingly. She pinned her father’s letter into the hem and put the silver seal around her neck, taking comfort from its link to her ancestors all the way back to the Second Fleet. Now, what about dinner? In Cython they ate fish or eel twice a week, though they were farmed in stone tanks and only had to be scooped out with a net.
She was crouched by the water, wondering if there were fish in this pool, and if she could catch one with her hands, when Rannilt whispered, ‘Tali, Tali?’
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Heard somethin’ in the bushes.’
The backs of Tali’s hands prickled; why hadn’t she been more careful? ‘What was it?’ A pool of fresh water in the middle of the Seethings would attract all kinds of predators. She looked for a stick or a stone, but saw neither.
A long pause. ‘A man, a really big man. And he looks cross.’
CHAPTER 34
‘I think the kids from the Rat Hole are there,’ said Tobry.
‘Where?’
Rix fanned himself with his hat. It was hot in the Seethings, for there was neither cloud nor breeze and the baked ground reflected the heat up at them. They were heading for an oasis whose dense halo of palms and green shrubs indicated that the waterhole was neither scalding, saline nor, hopefully, poisonous.
At the outer edge of the shrubbery they dismounted and crept on until they could see through a fringe of leaves to the pool.
Rix stopped abruptly, making a strangled noise in his throat.
‘Well, she’s not a kid,’ Tobry murmured.
Standing by the water twenty yards away, in a blue gown that clung to her small yet feminine form, a young woman was squeezing water from chin-length, golden-blonde hair. A skinny child, nine or ten years old with a pinched face and scabbed knees, was talking non-stop.
‘Close your gob,’ said Tobry. ‘You’re gawping like a yokel.’
‘I’ve never seen a woman with such luminous skin, such silky hair, such a soft mouth. Her eyes are the colour of sapphires — ’
Tobry drew him backwards until they were out of earshot. ‘I concede she’s an engaging little wench, but she’s not for you.’
‘You stinking hypocrite,’ Rix hissed. ‘You’ve seduced whole villages of women.’
‘Only small villages,’ said Tobry wryly. ‘And I don’t debauch innocents. Look at her; she could have been hatched last night.’
‘You’re not stopping me, Tobe.’
‘What makes you think she’ll say yes?’
Rix looked at his friend in astonishment. ‘No woman has ever said no.’
Tobry opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.
‘What?’ said Rix.
‘Nothing.’
‘You’re doing it again. If there’s something I need to know, tell me.’ ‘I’m not sure you need to know.’
‘Don’t patronise me, Tobe.’
‘Haven’t you wondered why no woman has ever said no?’
‘No,’ said Rix smugly. ‘Why would they?’
‘They say no to me all the time. But then, I don’t have your looks, your title, your wealth — or your mother.’
Rix frowned. ‘What’s Mother got to do with anything?’
‘Can’t you work it out?’
Rix strained until his eardrums bulged. ‘No, I can’t.’
‘She makes sure all the young women you meet are the right kind. And clean, and willing.’
The cold sweat was back. ‘What do you mean, willing?’
‘Lady Ricinus makes it clear what will happen to any woman who refuses her precious son — ’
‘Are you saying they come to my bed because they’re too scared to refuse?’
‘I dare say they like you — you can be charming enough, when you make the effort. And no doubt Lady Ricinus encourages their forlorn hopes — ’
‘What hopes?’
‘That you’ll make them the next Lady Ricinus.’
‘But … surely they realise it’s just a bit of fun?’ said Rix.
‘You’re such a babe,’ said Tobry. ‘Do I have to spell it out?’
‘I guess you do,’ Rix said sullenly. He peered through the vegetation but the young woman had moved out of sight.
‘To most of those girls, snaring you is a way out of miserable poverty, for them and their families.’
‘That’s … that’s just like — ’ Rix could not say it. He’d never paid in his life.
Tobry’s mouth opened; closed. Heavy sigh. ‘Family duty matters to you, doesn’t it?’
‘Of course. Family is everything.’
‘To them as well. For their entire extended families, you’re the difference between the gutter and the palace. And be sure, their families pressure them.’