“Should she have come out of that so soon?” Celia asked. She’d brushed her hair and was presently working on Beverley’s. “It was a full dose, right?”
“Full for Theo. Dr. Lincoln kept them small, since drugs affect wæres so readily.”
“You’d think it’d be the opposite, that it’d take more to do anything to us,” Celia said. She gestured at Vivian. “But she’s not a wære.”
“No, but she’s stained,” I said.
“Stained?” Celia asked, concern in her voice.
I approached Vivian. “That’s right, isn’t it?” I let my disgust show in my face. “You’ve got a vampire’s mark.” It seemed dirty in a contaminated way, like having lice or something.
Vivian squinted at me and tried to talk through the gag. Though garbled, her intended words were clear enough: “Fuck you.”
Since most of her cheek was covered by the gag, I smacked her temple, hard. “Don’t talk like that, even muffled, in front of my nana and Beverley. You understand me?”
Vivian glared.
“Do you understand me?” I asked again, this time with a handful of her hair pulled tight.
She shut her eyes.
“Where did you get the Codex?”
Having previously forgotten, she remembered it now and foggily scrutinized the room until she spotted it on the table in front of Nana. She strained against the cords. I moved to stand behind her but didn’t release the handful of her hair. With one finger against her cheek, I pushed the gag free of her mouth. “Where did you say you got it?”
“That book is mine.”
“Not anymore.”
She laughed. “You’re an idiot. He’ll take it from you, and he’ll kill you just for having seen it.”
“Who?” I asked, but I thought I knew. I mean, she was stained, yet free, living a good life, working at a coffee shop—which still made no sense to me. “The one who marked you?” Her glare turned positively malicious. “It’s a good security blanket, huh?”
“The best,” she said through gritted teeth. “And unless you’ve made good on my little contract, you-know-who will be coming for it.”
“Little contract?” Celia asked.
I tightened my fist in Vivian’s hair, a warning. I needed a minute to think of an answer that would avoid—
“She didn’t tell you?” Vivian blurted. I jerked her head back, but before I could reach for the gag she said, “Not even after her friend’s little car accident?”
I looked at Celia. She looked at me. A deer caught in car headlights must feel like I felt then.
Johnny and Erik came in the front door. Both were breathing like marathon runners after a race. It gave me reason to pause and an instant to think. After they closed and locked the door, the men came quickly to the kitchen. “They got away. But more are sure to come.”
“What are beholders, anyway?” I asked, hoping the diversion would make everyone else forget what they’d just heard.
Johnny started to answer, but Vivian growled, “The beholders have been here already?”
“You knew?” he asked.
“Go to my car. Inside it is a wooden box—pray they haven’t taken it already. Bring it into the house. Now.” She barked orders as if she was going to be obeyed despite having been tied to a chair after breaking and entering. “Do it, or we’ll all be killed!”
Johnny asked me, “What is she talking about?” His urgency and tone dropped as his attention flicked back and forth between me and Celia. He smelled the tension between us. “What did I miss?”
I jerked the gag up and into Vivian’s mouth.
Everyone was staring at me except Vivian. I glanced around the room. My friends, Nana, and Beverley were all waiting for me to say something, to explain. The wolves shifted closer to each other, a pack trait for certain. I felt like I was standing at the wrong end of a loaded gun. My heart pounded in my chest.
They’d all put so much faith in me, come here to help me. Did I have enough faith in their friendship to tell them the truth?
I thought of Nancy. She’d had enough faith in friendship to tell me and Olivia and Betsy her truth, enough love for us to want us to have what she’d found. And we had helped her right out of our lives for it. I didn’t want to lose the wærewolves—I realized then how much I valued them. And not for the money kenneling brought in either—I spent most of it on their treats anyway. They were the only outside connections I had to the world. I’d holed myself up, alone, in this saltbox farmhouse for two years. Just a computer and me, with me denying that I needed anyone or wanted anyone in my life. If not for the wærewolves, I’d have no one. Nana would be it. I didn’t want Nana to be “it” for me.
I swallowed hard. The breath I took filled my lungs with the heaviest air.
“All of you have trusted me. Trusted me with your secrets, trusted me not to betray you in your mainstream life. Trusted me to keep you safe during the full moon, and to let you out when it’s passed.” I stared at the floor and licked my lips. “It’s time I started trusting you back.”
Chapter 15
Vivian contacted me after”—I focused on Beverley—“after your mother’s murder. You see, last year someone was stalking Lorrie.” I looked around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes in turn. If I was going to say this, I had to do it right. “A real sleaze. I did a spell using dirt from your father’s grave, Beverley, a spell that’s supposed to enlist the aid of those who’ve passed. But this stalker jerk was an addict of some kind, and the subtle influences from the other side must have gone unnoticed. Anyway, after a Tarot reading I did for Lorrie, it was clear his intentions were malicious and it seemed that someone would have to physically confront him. So…I did.” I looked to Johnny last, and it seemed like I was making my confession to him. Somehow, that made it easier to continue.
“You?” Erik asked. “She was wære. Why didn’t she just knock him around?”
“Erik.” Celia took his hand. “Lorrie wasn’t like that. She was afraid of her strength. She wouldn’t hurt a fly before she was infected, and that didn’t change afterward.” She nodded at Beverley. “Your mom was the sweetest person I ever knew.”
Beverley swallowed hard, fighting tears.
“This guy always seemed to be around when Beverley was, and Lorrie was afraid he’d hurt her. When I confronted him, he pulled a knife. We struggled. He was on something, maybe PCP, I don’t know. It made him strong, but clumsy. We fell, and the knife went into him. He died.”
Vivian started laughing through her gag.
“Shut up,” Johnny said with such vehement sternness that she obeyed without hesitation. When he looked at me again, it was my cue to go on, but my boldness had seeped away.
“It was an accident,” I said. “I didn’t go there to kill him, but apparently Lorrie must have thought I had. She told Vivian, who obviously thought I was keen on being some kind of assassin.” I felt so stupid and so ashamed I couldn’t meet their eyes. “Vivian said she knew who’d killed Lorrie and asked me to…to retaliate. To kill him.” I could feel my hands shaking, and I planted them firmly on my hips.
“And you agreed?” Nana asked, incredulous.
“I saved Lorrie’s life once, and it was taken from her anyway. I thought of Beverley and I knew the police wouldn’t pursue the case of a wære-victim.”
So soft a whisper left my nana that I scarcely heard her. “But the Rede…”
I had to look at her, but I couldn’t maintain eye contact. A heartbeat’s worth was all I could stand. “I know, Nana. I know.” I didn’t want to get into the things Amenemhab had told me. Nana might understand my talking with a totem-jackal, but the others wouldn’t.
“Did you…fulfill the contract?” Johnny asked, his tone very careful.