“I’ll do my best, but I can’t make any promises. My schedule is… uncertain right now.”
I scrunch my forehead in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense. You know what classes you have and when.”
“That’s not what I mean. I don’t know what’ll be expected of me and how much time it’ll take.”
“Okay,” I say, drawing out the word. “If you say so.”
“Just drop it, all right?”
I fold my arms over my chest, trying to ignore the hurt seeping into my chest. “Fine.”
Ben sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair. The lights above him catch and reflect something shiny on the screen. I squint and get closer to my phone.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Huh?” He drops his arm, holding his hand in front of his face. “Oh, this is nothing.”
“Nothing? That looks like a gold ring. Unless you're slowly turning into a rapper, I need to know where that bling came from.”
Ben’s lips twitch. “A rapper?”
“We’re from the rough neighborhood. For all I know, you could be the next Eminem. Show it to me.”
He pauses. It’s slight, but in our relationship, his hesitation is like a bullhorn. I blink at the screen in disbelief.
“It’s not a big deal.” He lifts his hand, positioning the ring in the center of the screen. “See?”
I run my gaze over the golden object, my eyes widening. On the ring’s oval face is a raised anchor with an “M” engraved above it. The arms of the anchor extend outward, completely surrounded by ornate filigree to add to the overall antique look. Not to mention the diamonds lining the entire thing.
“Are those real?” I ask.
Ben drops his hand and nods.
“And what is the “M” for? Your last name is Johnson.” I roll my eyes. “Oh, duh. It’s for a fraternity, isn’t it?”
His gaze darts to the side before meeting mine. “Yeah.”
“Have you been hiding this for years?” My voice rises, along with my sense of betrayal. “Why didn’t you want to tell me? I know we used to make fun of preppy people like that, but let’s face it. We wished we were them. You’re family, and I’d never judge you.”
“I know. It’s just that this group is intense. And like you said, we used to make fun of rich, privileged kids who wiped their asses with hundred-dollar bills. But when you hang out with them… I don’t know. It’s different.”
I wave a hand in dismissal. “As long as you don’t become a prick, I don’t care what fraternity you’re in. Hell, I might join a sorority when I go to college.”
“Are you still thinking of coming here?”
“Of course.” I narrow my gaze in suspicion. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He shakes his head. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. That’s all.”
“I’m not going to be valedictorian, but I will graduate with honors, Ben. I’m going to get into South Harbor. End of story.”
“Okay, okay. Forget I said anything. Where are the girls? I need to go soon, and I don’t want to miss seeing them.”
I sigh. “Right. Before I go downstairs and get them, I want you to promise me something.”
“What?”
“Don’t let that fancy-smancy college change you too much, okay? I want my Ben to still be there when you graduate.”
He stares off into the distance, his gaze becoming unfocused. “Change isn’t something we can stop, Lilah. We age, grow, learn, achieve. These experiences mold us, whether we want them to or not.” He clears his throat and looks at me with a sad smile. “I’ll always care about you. That will never change.”
“Right back at you. Besides, everything will be great when we’re together again. Only one more year.”
“You’re growing up faster than I can handle.”
“You just wait until I’m a legal adult.”
He shakes his head. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Chapter 9XAVIER
Senior Year
The Present
“I have a favor to ask you,” Benjamin says without looking at me.
He lowers his voice to barely above a whisper despite it being just the two of us in the room. When he flicks his gaze to me, there’s something deep and intense in his eyes.
Something that can only be triggered by a girl.
“It’s personal.”
I shove him with a laugh, attempting to deflect. “No, you can’t suck my dick. I thought I made that clear freshman year when I saved your ass in the dungeon.”
His mouth thins. “I’m serious, X. This is important.”
“I know.” My stomach clenches with foreboding. “Something’s been up with you for a while now.”
Benjamin walks over to the window and folds his arms over his chest. “I don’t know if I should ask you this, but I don’t know who else I can trust.”
He falls silent. I leave him to his internal debate. Benjamin will say what’s on his mind if he’s given a moment to think on how to say it correctly. The problem is that I don’t want to fucking hear it.
With a quiet exhale, I drop into a chair and cross my ankle over my thigh. And wait. I run my gaze over the space, taking in the details to soothe my impatience.
The castle that houses the fraternity’s members is a clash of present and ancient times. Sconces have been replaced with light fixtures and wiring. The towering ceiling, arched window, and hand-carved crown molding co-exist with the modern upgrades found in the furniture and the en suite bathroom, but the space maintains its air of grandeur.
We, along with those that came before us, are the elite, and we live like it.
Above the massive fireplace is a crest of the Obsidian Order. At the center is a crow with its wings outstretched in mid-flight, symbolizing the guild’s intelligence, its air of mystery, and—of course—its connection with death. Any recruit still standing at the end of the Trials will be called a crow instead of a recruit.
We’re down to nine.
Finally, Benjamin takes a deep breath as if gathering his courage. I force myself to remain still, although the subject is of great interest to me. Even after all of these years together, Benjamin has never mentioned Delilah, but I’ve been anticipating this conversation for a while.
“There’s a girl who’s coming to the university this year,” he says. “Delilah Scott.”
I shrug, my nonchalance completely at odds with the way my blood heats at merely hearing her name. “And?”
“I’ve been summoned.”
Benjamin takes up the chair across from me, resting his forearms on the table while clasping his hands. He stares at his fingers as though imagining blood on them. Considering he’s going to kill someone soon, it’s a distinct possibility.
“Your first time?” I ask.
He drops his gaze and nods. “Yeah. What about you?”
“I’ve been summoned several times.”
“Damn.”
“It’s part of the oath we took.” I tilt my head. “Speaking of, which part of ‘celibacy for a year’ did you not understand?”
Benjamin squeezes his hands until his skin blanches. “My relationship with her isn’t like that.”
“But you want it to be.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I’m not going to break my oath.”
“Good.” I raise a brow. “The Order puts more importance on our final year than any other. It's the first time we’re sent on missions and the reason we have to be celibate all senior year. They don’t want us thinking with our dicks and fucking things up. If you know that, then why are you mentioning this girl?”