“Is that so? Well, I suppose dreams are a fascinating phenomenon.
… I hadn't given them very much thought before coming here.” Beiber's voice became eager. “I hope that when the Archduchess and I are united we shall spend many happy hours sharing each other's dreams. I have often wondered what fantastical dramas must unravel behind those beautiful eyes when they are closed by sleep.”
“Herr Beiber,” said Liebermann. “Your dream?”
“Oh yes-where was I?”
“The wardrobe. It reminded you of a casket.”
“Indeed. Well, there I was, staring at this tall, plain box, which I had childishly imagined was the repository of all manner of horrors, when what should happen next? The realization of my worst fear. The doors began to creak open, and as they did, I became conscious of a heavy-breathing sound-a kind of hungry panting. Slowly, slowly, the doors opened-seemingly of their own accord-to reveal an impenetrable darkness, impervious to moonlight. I could see nothing inside. No coats, jackets, or hatboxes-no possessions-none of the expected items that had come to represent the day-to-day presence of my mother and father. I was transfixed and, needless to say, consumed by terror. I wondered what manner of creature might make that horrible panting sound, and whether it would attempt to escape its lair. Two red eyes appeared. They glinted in the moonlight. Then another pair appeared above them… I wanted to scream, but I was struck dumb. Not so much as a squeak escaped from my lips. Then something extraordinary happened. A great shaggy black creature jumped out of the wardrobe. It was a massive, salivating thing-as a wolf might be depicted in a children's picture book. Then out jumped its companion-a beast of the same lupine breed and almost equal in size. The two of them were staring at me, their tongues hanging from their slack open jaws. And all of the time that horrible, horrible panting… They began to advance. They were coming toward me.” Herr Beiber's voice was now strained. The mocking, superior tone had completely vanished. “Their great paws on the floorboards, the scratching of their claws, long tails wagging, merciless feral eyes…” Herr Beiber's chest rose and fell with increasing speed and his breathing grew ragged. “They were going to eat me up. I imagined those sharp teeth sinking into my flesh, ripping, tearing, shaking… I screamed and screamed. And suddenly I found that I really was screaming! I was sitting up on my cot-wide awake-clutching my eiderdown with both hands.”
Herr Beiber gripped his hospital gown as the haptic memory made his fingers spasm. He remained silent for a few moments.
“And what happened then?”
“My mother came to my assistance. She petted and kissed me-told me that it had all been a bad dream and that I had nothing to fear. But I did not believe her. And… and…”
“Yes, go on.”
“I was right to disbelieve her. This will no doubt sound odd to you, Herr Doctor-but you have asked me to be candid. On subsequent nights I listened very carefully, and I swear that I could hear that horrible breathing emanating from the wardrobe.”
“Perhaps you were asleep again-and it was another dream.”
“No, Herr Doctor, I was awake. Wide awake-as awake as you or I right now.”
“What was it, do you think?”
“You will concede-I hope-that there are many things in this world for which we have no ready explanation.”
The young doctor did not reply.
64
LIEBERMANN ARRIVED HOME LATE to find his serving man hovering anxiously in the hallway.
“Ernst, what is it?”
“Your mother is here.”
“My mother?”
“Yes.”
“Where is she?”
“In the music room.”
Ernst took Liebermann's astrakhan coat.
“When did she arrive?”
“At eight-thirty, sir.”
Liebermann glanced at his wristwatch. It was ten-fifteen.
“She's been here all evening! Thank you so much for waiting.”
“It was my pleasure, sir.”
Liebermann took a deep breath and entered the music room, where his mother was seated on the sofa. For a moment she did not react. She looked small, hunched, and worried. Then, with remarkable alacrity, she was standing and looking vaguely combative.
“Maxim!”
“Mother…”
Liebermann walked over to her and hesitated before kissing her. She pulled a curious face (which somehow managed to combine condescension with compassion and resignation) and offered him her powdery cheek.
“I suppose you've heard,” said Liebermann.
“Yes, I've heard. And when did you intend to tell us, exactly?”
“Tomorrow. I'm sorry. I had to get back to the hospital.”
“The hospital, the hospital, always the hospital. You know, sometimes I think your father's right. You would have been better off managing one of the factories. Sit down, Max.”
He did as he was told and his mother sat back down on the sofa beside him.
“I'm sorry, Mother-really I am.” Rebecca Liebermann shrugged, made an ambiguous gesture with her hand, and picked a speck of fluff from her son's trousers. “How did you hear?”
“Jacob spoke to your father.”
“Ah…”
“He's furious. When I left Concordiaplatz, he was threatening to disown you.”
Liebermann swallowed. “Did Herr Weiss mention Clara?”
“Yes.”
“How is she?”
“They're sending her away with her Aunt Trudi for a while.”
“Where?”
“I don't know-just away.”
“I wanted to see her, but Herr Weiss forbade it.”
“Can you blame him?”
Liebermann shook his head. “All I wanted was to behave honorably-that's all.” Liebermann fingered a loose button on his jacket. “Months ago, you asked me whether she was really the onewhether I really loved her. I thought I did, but I was wrong. I don't love Clara-well, at least, not like I should. I didn't know that then, but I know it now. And if we had gone ahead with the marriage, it would have been a bad marriage. A marriage based on a lie. What possible good could have come of that? I wasn't only thinking of myself-I was thinking of Clara too.”
Rebecca stopped her son from worrying the button on his jacket. “Leave it alone-it'll come off.” She took his hand in hers and squeezed his long, elegant fingers. “I had my suspicions.”
“You did?”
“Mother's intuition. I know you think I'm a silly old fool when I say such things, but it exists, whether you like it or not.”
Liebermann looked into his mother's eyes. They were glinting, but there were no tears.
“What shall I do about Father?”
“Stay away from him-for a while. He's writing you a letter. Ignore it-he's upset, that's all. You know what he's like. And if you do respond, remember that he's your father. I'll do what I can.”
Rebecca tucked a stray strand of her son's hair behind his ear-one of her tics that Liebermann found most irritating (but which he was now content to forgive)-and stood up abruptly.
“I've got to go,” said Rebecca. “It's late. Your father didn't want me to come in the first place.”
“But we've hardly spoken-and you've been waiting here all evening.”
“It doesn't matter… I've seen you. That's enough.”
“Enough for what?”
“All that education, and sometimes you still don't understand anything.” On her way to the door she paused by the Bosendorfer. “I never get to hear you play these days. I used to love listening to you play.”
65
STEFAN KANNER AND PROFESSOR Pallenberg were standing in an attic room of the General Hospital. A rope, one end of which disappeared into an elaborate winching device, had been thrown over a central support beam. The exposed mechanism of the winch consisted of several large wooden cogs, a central drum, and a low crank handle. The other end of the rope formed a noose that had been pulled tightly around the feet of a middle-aged man who was now suspended upside down approximately five feet from the floor. He was wearing a restraining jacket of brown canvas. The flesh on his face had been redistributed by gravity, creating a unique expression that married the inscrutability of a Japanese Buddha with the comedic painted lineaments of a clown, and his hair hung straight down. The scene was lit by a thin pasty light that seeped apologetically through a narrow window.