"People think I don’t know," he said, "but I know." He dribbled. "I comprehend. Just sometimes it’s better to pretend you don’t. Sometimes pretending is so easy it’s almost beautiful."
The sun beat down.
I understood.
::::::::::::::::::::
They came to me in the process of creation. There
were
two of them, one large, one smalclass="underline" messengers of some grander being, acolytes of the furious sun. They stood, silent, until I noticed them, though I’d noticed them already. I imagined they wore suits (the expensive kind), and wide, reflective sunglasses. In their own way, they looked some sort of cosmic secret agents. I suppose, in their own way, they probably were.
"Is he ready for me?" I asked. They nodded.
I left with them, and they led me through whole different realms of the city, past old pawnshops with crooked dealers, closed down
buildings, abandoned warehouses, derelict suburbs… and
then back, onto a high, industrious street I’d never seen before, where the buildings were taller than the sky, and they glinted in the afternoon, a whole rainbow of citycolor, in height… down a great flight of stairs, under archways, to a specialized, rarified void. In all things, it was absolutely, astoundingly authentic.
They told me to wait, without telling. When the Chimera was ready for me, I would know. There were other people here, in
raucous conversation,
but they didn’t seem to notice me, not sparing a glance, not seeing. Azure light sprinkled through glorious openings in the ceiling. But despite everything, the place had a touch of shabbiness about it, at odds in the real.
I tried to start conversation with statues. They ignored me. And I realized, a moment too late, that they weren’t people at all, they didn’t even move, not when you looked closely, and they didn’t talk either, it’s just
they felt like they did, two together, three, standing alone. They were an astounding kind of golem, all wreathed in magic. But I bet, sometimes, when someone came the Chimera didn’t want to see, they weren’t so intent on staying quiet. They were an excellent form of torture. A few, most likely, would
grow
fangs.
::::::::::::::::::::
I made passage across a
gigantic, shimmering ocean, for myself, for others.
No, I traveled alone; I’d always known that, no matter
how hard I pushed for resiliency. A turquoise
mist rose from the surface. No matter what, I swore I wouldn’t fall, not giving into the mirror, not breaking cleanly in two. But it was harder now, than ever before.
It didn’t matter if I’d always been alone, if I was really going anywhere. I was here and I was really here, and there was no choice but just to
keep going.
I looked into the mirror. My image sprang up, a dualistic shadow, riding separate waves of light. I gave off my own shade, indescribable. The sky, growing to ease, was gentler now, like a real sky. And there I was, me, in the water.
Thrice above, below, entangled. I’d been wearing my clothes for a bit too long, and, ironically, very little of me had come into contact with the surface. I thought of posing for myself, to strike a grandiose figure, but it didn’t matter, I was already there. The water was a magnificent reversaclass="underline"
as above, magnified
below.
:::::::::::::::::::: "You know," I said, "I don’t really feel like playing." I passed him the ball. The sun beat down. Grass folded in the heat, sweating chlorophyll, turning brown. "We have poignant conversation sometimes, you know." I turned around. "Let’s just do something else."
"Just one more game," he said.
"I think I’m going to pass out." And to make something clear: "You’re insane." Still standing there so
insanely
enthusiastic, grinning, as though he hadn’t just lost, as though there
were somewhere great to go from here. Birds flew by. Ants crawled deep underground, carrying mold in pieces to their fat, fattening queen, to make her bigger, to churn out a greasy crop of
themselves, soulless, in multiplication; so she could
spit them out, so there could be more, and better bread. I crossed my fingers, and wished we’d thought to bring something to drink, so I could drown Travis in it. We had poignant conversation sometimes, we really did, though obviously, this
wasn’t one
of them.
He passed me the ball. "Here, it’s yours first."
"I don’t think it matters," I said, "I’ll still beat you."
"Someday," he said, "that’ll change."
::::::::::::::::::::
They opened the door for me. White poured from the sanctuary beyond, cleaving a line on the floorboards, lighting fires on the wall. I stepped through, hesitating. The doors shut, too loud, not loud enough.
Strangely, the Chimera looked about like I thought he would.
We were the same height, with brown hair. He was slim, looking just a little too small for his clothes, jeans trailing on the floor, hands in pockets. Curling mist clung to him. Odd patterns, reflected from other parts of the room, hit him in every direction. He had more than one shadow, no, he had an infinite number of shadowslarger, smaller, some of them moving, leaving and walking away. When he raised an arm, molecules wavered, and, unless he didn’t want them to, glasses fell off shelves, mirrors broke. In his own way, he was the extrovert center of the universe, taking action in the chaos. Despite the acne, he had a very handsome smile.
"I like the statues," I said. "And your place."
Wherever it is.
Simultaneously, I felt like I was in an attic, an alleyway, an entrance hall, and a whole number of nameless, overlapping places. There were no details. A chair became a table, became a lamppost, became a very large TV. Myriad bursts of energy, curtailing, turned the room to a cesspool of the baroque, in itself, with the complexity of good music. Despite everything, it was startlingly familiar.
"The gargoyles can be dangerous," he said. "If you aren’t careful, or if you bug them too much. Some of them
grow
fangs."
"I think they scared me." I said.
"They can do that."
Electricity cackled as he blinked an eye. Whole dimensions grew thin. For some reason he was slightly less intimidating then I figured he’d be. It definitely wasn’t the blue lighting that flashed in my mind, or the crazy, crazy vibrations, all in and down, playing games with rules, possibly suspending gravity. A few feet to my right, a teacup, floating in the air, became a small animal. He had the power to create life. He had the head of a lion, the tail of a snake, and the body of goat. With every breath, he unleashed an outpour of fire. I’m not sure why he didn’t scare me.
"Just so you know," he said, "I owe you a favor. For running with James."
"You knew him?"
"I knew of him," he said, "though that doesn’t really matter, as so did everything else."
"But why didn’t you help him yourself?"
"I didn’t owe him a favor."
::::::::::::::::::::
"Did I ever tell you," Travis asked, "about the first time I experienced the game? And why I like it. "