“Did you lose something?” I called out, trying to make myself heard above the music. I frowned and went to turn the radio off. Even a fool could sense that there was definitely something up with her.
“Sara?” I said again. With the music silenced, my voice was the only sound in the room.
She screamed and dropped a serving bowl onto the floor. Startled, Humbug jumped from my hold and went into hiding in the living room.
“Bloody hell! You scared me half to death,” she said, trying to catch her breath. Then her eyes welled up with tears as she saw the irreparably shattered bowl in a thousand pieces on the lino. What the hell was going on with her?
“Sorry, you mustn’t have heard me come in.” Tears tumbled down her face, and I reached out a hand. “It’s just a bowl.”
“It’s not just a bowl!” she yelled.
“OK, what’s wrong?”
“T-there’s nothing w-wrong.” Her voice quivered, and so did her lips.
Shit.
I steered her away from the broken crockery and sat her down, adamant that she look at me. “Cut the bullshit, Sara. Tell me what’s up.” My words were harsh, like a slap to the face, but they did the trick of making her stop crying. The last thing I wanted was for her to be upset.
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I blurted. A mixture of shock and amazement settled upon me. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” She nibbled her bottom lip and just like that, the stirring in my pants increased to a whole new level of awkwardness. The idea of her pregnant, swollen and ripe, made my head spin. “I took a test. It’s positive.”
“Eric’s?” I said quietly.
She nodded, and we said no more on that matter.
“How far along are you?”
“I dunno, must be three or four months.”
Wow. I ran my palms down my face and tried to wrap my head around her words. She must be going through hell, trying to decide what to do, I thought. Eric’s baby… Jesus. I looked back up and took in her face; a tear had fallen down her cheek. She was upset, and rightly so. A baby was supposed to be a happy occasion, but in light of what she’d told me, I felt my own blood start to boil. I’d had to keep myself in check when she’d listed all the abusive things he’d done to her over the years, and so help me, if he hadn’t already been six foot under, I’d have soon put him there.
Before I knew it, I was reaching out for her and pulling her into my arms.
“Shh,” I soothed, “it’s OK.”
“I-I don’t know how I’m going to cope, Harvey. On my own, with a baby to raise… How will anyone want a fat, single mother who’s also a widow? I’m like a lost cause, the trifecta of misery.”
I tightened my grip around her and squeezed. Somewhere deep in my mind I knew that this was the moment. It was now or never.
“You’re not a lost cause, and you’re not fat.” I took a breath and looked into her soft green eyes, so damn beautiful I could stare into them the whole fucking day.
“I want you,” I whispered.
Using my thumbs I wiped her tears away, stroking the soft apples of her cheeks. Her eyes had gone wide: confusion, understanding, then lust.
Fuck, I wanted her.
I didn’t know what it was exactly about this woman that pulled me in so deeply and made me do the craziest things in the world. Maybe it was everything about her, and I’d just been too stupid and preoccupied with trying to find the perfect woman when she was right here in my arms. I leaned forward. Our faces were a mere breath from each other, and the feel of her body against mine drove me completely insane.
I closed the distance between our lips, and I claimed her mouth, gently at first. A kiss that soon turned hungry and hot.
19
Sara
The moment our lips met, sparks ignited between us. I couldn’t believe it was happening—Harvey was actually kissing me, and I didn’t have the strength or the will to say no. I wanted him will all my heart. Attraction, like a great big magnet, called out to me and made my arms lift up and curl around his thick neck, my fingers brushing against the soft wisps of hair at his nape.
My eyes closed, heavy from the feeling of bliss that made them roll, as his tongue did a magical swirl, filling my mouth and making the core between my legs pulse in a wild frenzy. I didn’t know what I was thinking, letting him kiss me like that, my stepbrother, but I didn’t make him stop, either. I lost touch with my thoughts; they were obliterated as my senses detonated. His hand ran the length of my torso, caressing its way up, then groping past my boob. I gasped and threw my head back, moaning, knowing I’d never been this turned on in my whole, entire life. His hand was at the back of my head, his fingers weaving through my hair. He tilted my head back to look up at him; his tongue darted out, licked the seams of my mouth, coaxing me to open up again, and I let him in.
In the back of my mind I tried to quash the voice that told me we shouldn’t be doing this. That his hands should not be where they were, on my hips clawing at my top, and his tongue should definitely not be inside my mouth, almost making me come with its masterful strokes.
Harvey wound his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer, hauling me to a standing position and almost off my feet, onto my tiptoes.
Tightening my hold on him, I pressed my body against him harder, feeling his need in his pants grow. I moaned again as he bent me backwards slightly; my spine arched as his tongue travelled deeper inside my mouth, as if he wanted to taste and explore every last part of me.
I denied him nothing. His hands crept up and tangled themselves in my locks again, tugging my head gently as he trailed hot kisses down my neck. Just as his lips made contact with my cleavage, my chest was rapidly moving up and down. I was totally lost in the way he was exploring my body. He reared back from me, his arms spread wide, no longer touching me.
His chest heaved with heavy panting, and a shadow crossed over his blue eyes, darkening the features on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered and went to touch his swollen lips with my fingers.
A muffled curse slipped free from his lips; his breath was on my fingertips, his hand catching my wrist before I made contact.
“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.” Without another word, he released my wrist, turned on his heel and left. The back door slammed, shaking the house, and I stood in the middle of the room, breathing hard, trying to figure out what went wrong.
It could never work, I told myself. And not just because he walked out on me, leaving me standing there like a fool, but I had a new life growing inside me to consider. I couldn’t in my right mind get involved with my stepbrother. Even though technically, after my mother’s passing we were no longer related by law. It was a technicality and nothing else. I pulled Humbug to me and lay stroking him on the bed, taking comfort in his body as he purred at my touch, while I patiently waited for sleep to come. But after a kiss like that, I was more awake than ever. I hadn’t been able to concentrate after Harvey had left. Unable to eat, I’d paced the house, dialling and redialling his number over and over again. He never answered. Something had spooked him.
I dreaded and yet at the same time longed for the morning, when I’d be able to see him again at work. But if he wasn’t answering my calls now, how on earth would he react to seeing me face-to-face in the office?