“Remember what we talked about, Lee-Anne. A nice, relaxed lunch, and then make sure he gets to his appointment after.”
Her smile slipped away, but only because she wanted Manny to know that she was taking him seriously. “Of course, Manny. You really can count on me.”
“I know. Now, go. Chat. Eat. Try the Cajun Beef Lasagna. Expense it, but please spend at least two minutes talking about business.”
Jerry smiled. “A whole two minutes? You’re such a slave driver.” And he let Lee-Anne lead him out to the street where she flagged a taxi faster than he’d ever seen before. As they climbed in, he muttered, “That was impressive. It would have taken me five minutes, at least.”
Lee-Anne giggled and hugged his arm. “It’s one of the advantages of these curves. In summer they practically fight over who gets the fare. I used to be proud of it, but after what you said the other day, I’m not so sure anymore. I’m a person, not a pair of… well, you know.”
“Not first hand, but I understand what you’re saying.”
THE TRIP WAS a short one by cab and their table was waiting in a corner, surrounded by old black and white photos depicting streets, people, and the jazz scene. As the hostess seated them, Lee-Anne turned to Jerry. “Do you mind a corner seat, Jerry? The window tables are lovely, but it’s hard to talk when the world is watching us like fish in a tank.”
“This is fine, Lee-Anne.” And it was. The place wasn’t big, but the high ceiling and quiet jazz music in the background swallowed the lunchtime chatter before it reached the other tables. If Ana ate, this would be a terrific place to bring her. He saw a drum kit in the corner. “They have music here?”
“Jazz, blues, mostly the mellow stuff.”
“That’s cool. I’ll have to bring Ana. She’s developing a taste for jazz.”
Lee-Anne reached over and took his hand. “How’s she doing with all of this?”
“She’s holding up really well. She’s my rock, along with everyone at the station, of course.”
A waiter swung by, took their drink orders, and slipped away so quickly it was surreal.
“If she needs to talk to anyone about it, please have her call me. If she’s half as scared as I was when my sister got sick, she’s probably feeling pretty helpless. How about your family? Aren’t they back in Ontario? They must be going crazy with you this far away right now.”
“I’m not surprised your sister’s illness scared you. Manny said you’re twins.”
“Identical, except she was the pretty one.”
Jerry choked on his water. “The… ?”
“A joke, Jerry. I know I’m beautiful because I look just like her and I always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. That’s not ego talking. Mary-Anne’s beauty was soul-deep. She never got into half the trouble I did. The boys all noticed her, too, but she didn’t care a bit. I wasn’t so lucky. I probably cared too much.” A glass of white wine and a tumbler of ginger ale arrived. “Did you want to try Manny’s suggestion? I love their lasagna.”
“Sure. I might as well enjoy solid food while I can.”
Lee-Anne smiled up at the waiter. “Two of the Cajun Beef Lasagna, please, Karl. With house salads…” She raised an eyebrow at Jerry and he nodded. “And the Italian dressing, please.” Karl smiled back and left. “So, your family. What did they say?”
“Nothing. I haven’t called, yet. It’s a hard thing to do long distance. I have a young friend I’m going to Skype tonight and break the news to, so that’ll probably be the rehearsal for telling my mother. We haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, so it’ll be an interesting conversation.”
“But it’s still one you have to have. Mary-Anne was a very private person, so she told just her girlfriend and me in the beginning. The first words out of her mouth to me were ‘Go get a mammogram, tomorrow.’ She didn’t tell my parents for another month, until she was well into the treatments. They were still having trouble with her being gay, so she didn’t speak to them very often.” She sipped her wine. Jerry could tell it was painful for her, but he couldn’t think of anything to say or do. “My parents are great people, although a bit too conservative for my taste. But as soon as Mary-Anne told them, their arms and hearts were wide open for both Mary-Anne and Charise. Tell your family. Soon.”
“I will. I promise. After the planning scan today, I might know a bit more. My mother tends to be a little judgmental, with the emphasis on mental, so the more facts I have when I call, the less criticism I’ll have to listen to about whether or not it’s psychosomatic or something else entirely, like drugs.”
She laughed. “I don’t envy you. I’m glad you’ll have Ana there with you. What is it about parents judging their children as inadequate or unable to make their own decisions? I never see my parents without Tom with me. That’s Tom’s idea, because he knows I’d rip into them and take out all my anger at Mary-Anne’s death on them.”
“Do you get tested regularly?”
She lit up and lowered her voice. “Jerr-bear, my breasts get squished so often I’m thinking of leaving Tom for the screening machine.”
Their laughter was interrupted by the arrival of lunch. Karl offered fresh-grated Parmesan cheese and fresh ground pepper, and they both accepted generous sprinklings of each. He then left with a smile and a promise to come back with refills for their drinks. Jerry waited politely for Lee-Anne to take her first forkful, and then he dug in, suddenly famished. They ate for a few minutes in silence, save for mumbled approvals of taste and texture, but Jerry finally had to ask a question that kept nagging at him.
“Did she ever give up? Mary-Anne, that is. Did she ever get so tired of the whole cancer thing and just want to flop on the couch and just stay there until her time was up? I mean, I haven’t even started radiation and have only known about this shit growing in my head for a little while, but I’m just so exhausted, emotionally.”
“Not in the beginning, no.” Lee-Anne put her fork down on her plate, gently. “Mary-Anne laughed and smiled and fought and raised awareness and funds for breast cancer research, but after her second radical mastectomy, it was like someone punched her in the gut, every day. In the beginning there was a lot of hope and promise and everyone had their fingers crossed, but when the treatments started losing ground to the disease, yeah, the couch became her best friend.”
“I love my couch these days. I wish I didn’t.”
“And I wish I knew a secret to give you hope or cheer you up or get you off that couch. Charise was able to get Mary-Anne up for a while, but even love and affection run out of steam, as my dad said. If I let my imagination loose, and we were both single and you weren’t my boss, I could come up with more than a few things to give you energy and a reason to live, but I can’t. That’s Ana’s job and I would never insult either her or Tom by suggesting it beyond this table. Besides, that’s just my mischievous sex drive talking, trying to make you smile. Charise and I have had long, long talks about this, and in the end, it was more about Mary-Anne dying with peace and dignity. We made sure she got to say everything she wanted to everyone she had to.” Lee-Anne’s voice softened to a barely audible whisper and Jerry had to lean in a bit to hear her. “She said her last goodbyes to Charise and me at the same time, while we held her hands to our hearts. Peace, and dignity, Jerry.”
“I guess that’s all anyone can ask for. She was lucky to have you.”
“It’s what sisters are for.” She picked up her fork and continued to eat, her eyes glistening with sadness.
“Yeah, I suppose. I’m sure my sister would be glad to do that for me, but we’d probably have to gag my mother if she was in the room, too.”