Numbly Eden watched wolf and warrior play, wondering if she were dreaming… or if she had simply gone mad.
When the first exuberance of Baby's greeting was quenched, Nevada looked toward the cabin door. A single glance at Eden's blank face told him that the mistress wasn't nearly as happy to see him as her wolf had been.
"Hello, Eden. You look…" Nevada's voice died. He had no words to describe how Eden looked to him. Nor could he describe his hunger to hold her warmth and laughter within his arms once more.
"How did you find me?" she asked finally.
"It took some doing. I had to lean on some folks at the university pretty hard before they gave me any help."
Nevada's light green eyes searched Eden's face, noting each sign of change, but most of all he saw the darkness of her eyes, a darkness she tried to conceal by looking away.
"Don't," he said softly.
"What?"
"Don't look away from me."
"I can't- I-seeing you…"
Eden laced her fingers together and looked at Nevada and felt as though she were being torn apart.
I'd give my soul not to want you.
She knew how Nevada felt, now. Too late.
She tried to take a deep, steadying breath, but no matter how much air she took in, it wasn't enough. The world was spinning too quickly, she was off balance, no center, nothing stable, nothing but the longing for Nevada that would not end.
"Eden!" Nevada caught Eden as her knees gave away, carried her into the cabin and set her gently on the bed. The pallor of her skin made him want to cry out in protest. Her lashes stirred, then opened to reveal eyes that were darker than he remembered. She started to sit up.
"No," he said, catching Eden's shoulders gently, pressing her back into the bed, brushing his lips over her forehead, her cheek. "Just lie still, fairy-tale girl."
Nevada's glance went over Eden like hands, noting everything. His nostrils flared, drinking in the subtle change in her scent. His whole body went still. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
"You're pregnant," he said flatly. "I knew it. Damn those university bureaucrats! I should have been here weeks ago!" He cursed once, savagely. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes."
"Bull. You fainted."
"Shock, not pregnancy." Eden closed her eyes, unable to bear Nevada's scrutiny. "I never expected to see you again. It was like having someone come back from the dead."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"That I'm pregnant?"
Nevada nodded curtly.
"And make you feel even more trapped than you did in Wildfire Canyon?" Eden shook her head and opened her eyes. "I can't bear watching your pain. I can't heal it. I can only make it worse. I won't do that, Nevada." Not wanting to, unable to stop herself, she lifted her hand and touched the coarse silk of his beard. "Don't worry, warrior. I'll be a good mother to our child."
"But you don't think I'll be good father."
"In every way but one, you would be a marvelous father."
Nevada waited, watching Eden with hooded eyes.
"Children need love," she whispered. "You don't believe in it."
"Neither do you, now. I took that from you as surely as I took your innocence."
Eden stared at Nevada. "What do you mean?"
He reached into his shirt pocket and brought out a golden chain and tiny braided ring.
"You told me that you wore this to remind you that love was never wasted, never futile. And then you left it behind."
"I didn't need Aurora's ring anymore. My reminder was alive within me. Your baby, Nevada. My baby. Our baby. A child of the love you don't believe in. But I understand why, now. If you allowed yourself to feel emotion, you would be vulnerable again. Your emotions run strong and hard and so very deep. Your ability to feel could destroy you. It nearly did. So you walked away from feeling, from emotion, from love"
"Eden, I…" Nevada's throat closed.
She smiled sadly. "It's all right, warrior. If I weren't pregnant, I would have done the same thing you did. Walked away from feeling, shed my pain like a snake shedding skin, and walked away, just walked away. Then I held Carolina and remembered little Aurora's laughter and I prayed that I was pregnant. And I am. Thank you for that, Nevada. Thank you for allowing your control to slip that much."
Eden's husky voice made Nevada's throat close around emotions he no longer could deny. Silently he bent down and fastened the gold chain around Eden's neck once more. The metal was warm from his body, almost weightless. He kissed the tiny gold ring where it lay in the soft hollow of her throat, then gathered Eden close and held her, simply held her, fighting for the self-control that always slipped away when he was close to Eden.
"Do you want to live here or on the Rocking M after we're married?" Nevada asked without lifting his face from the warm curve of Eden's neck.
The subtle rasp in his voice was like a cat's tongue licking over Eden's nerves. The temptation he offered was dizzying, almost overwhelming.
"No," she breathed.
"Then where?"
"No. Just no."
"Why?"
"Don't. Please, don't. If I weren't pregnant, you wouldn't be talking about marriage."
"Are you sure of that?" Nevada asked softly.
"I'm sure I can't bear to watch your eyes turn bleaker each time we make love," Eden said with desperate calm. "I'm sure I can't bear being something you don't want yet can't refuse." She closed her eyes but couldn't prevent her tears from falling as she whispered, "I can't heal you but I can set you free. Walk away, warrior, just walk away."
Eden felt Nevada stir, sitting up, moving away from her. It was what she knew must be, yet even knowing it she had to bite back a cry of pain.
The feel of Nevada's lips against Eden's left hand was like a soft brand burning her. She made a tiny sound of protest, but couldn't free her hand. Something smooth and warm slid over her third finger.
"Open your eyes," Nevada said, brushing away Eden's tears with his kisses.
When Eden opened her eyes she saw gold gleaming on her ring finger, a circle of braided metal that was exactly like the tiny ring lying in the hollow of her throat. Silently Nevada held out his left hand. On his hard palm a third ring gleamed, golden braids intertwined.
"If you believe I can love," he said, "put the ring on me."
Eden looked into his eyes for a long moment, remembering the instant when she had caught his wrist in the bar and seen both the darkness and the light that was Nevada. Slowly she picked up the golden ring, kissed it and slid it onto his finger, whispering her love against his palm. Nevada kissed her ring in return, lifted his head, and looked into the eyes that saw so deeply into him, accepting him for what he was, loving him despite the darkness he had known.
Her love was like stepping into the sun, a blazing joy transforming him as surely as pain once had.
"Nevada…?"
Eden's breath stopped, for she had seen nothing more beautiful than her dark warrior's smile, a smile to make angels weep. With trembling fingers she touched Nevada's lips. His hard and gentle hands framed her face, holding her, seeing the reflection of his newfound freedom in her radiant hazel eyes.
"You are my life, my soul, everything I wanted and feared I would never have," Nevada whispered, bending down to Eden. "Fairy-tale girl, I love you."