B. Rex nodded, but Moses grabbed him. B. Rex didn’t meet his eyes.
“Just go with Jamie. Take the elevator and go. Don’t say anything, just go, and then don’t say anything to anyone,” Moses said. “You weren’t with us at all. Not me and Logan. You got the car stalled or something stupid. You can drive him home or to his car, right, J?”
“You going to meet us down there or what?” Jamie said.
Moses watched his mother move from one foot to the next, pointing with her finger.
“You’re just going to slow us down anyway, Jamie,” Moses said. “Look at your foot. So you go first, and I’ll stay here with her until I can figure out how to get her to move.”
“Just grab her and then we can go,” Jamie said.
“You wanna try moving her by yourself? With your foot, J?”
Jamie pulled out the keys and dropped them into B. Rex’s hand.
“Moses, we can get her to come,” Jamie said. “I don’t want you staying here and then doing whatever. Don’t take it out on that bearded guy, if that’s what you’re thinking. You don’t need that on your back any more than you need these other two fuckers.”
“Just go, J,” Moses said.
Elvira lay back on the bed and began to roll around in the satin sheets. Jamie thrust out an arm and B. Rex ducked under it. He could barely carry Jamie’s weight. Moses watched them shuffle down the hall toward the elevator doors. Every other step, B. Rex had to reach out and grab the wall.
The elevator opened. Both figures stumbled inside. Moses closed the door to the honeymoon suite.
30
Moses Moon didn’t touch his mother. He sat in the purple loveseat and poked at Astor Crane’s body with the rifle. The television was still muted. Everyone on that screen was probably dead by now. They all fit in with the rest of the suite. Even the chandelier was made of tiny fake crystal hearts that lit up and spun around above the bed. Moses traced the trail of fluid leaking from Astor’s brain with the end of the barrel. It worked its way around the ashtray islands overflowing on the floor. The carpet absorbed it all.
Elvira had wrapped herself up in the red sheets on the bed and was snoring. Her large chest rose and fell in time with the noise. Moses hoped she didn’t dream of anything — he didn’t know what they had done to her. Elvira Moon would eventually forget these men, like everything else before them. Everything except Ted Moon and Arizona.
The honeymoon suite was windowless on three sides. The Venetian blinds were tilted to let in the light. The city stretched out beneath each window in long gray lines like an old strip mine filled with rainwater. Little figures blundered into each other down below and asked for change. Twenty floors up, not much sound made it through the thick double-paned glass. There were no balconies at the Pillaros Hotel, no pigeons to wake you up when the sun rose and you realized you were alone again. It must have been the pigeons at the Dynasty that drove them to it. The soft cooing reminding you the rest of the world had somewhere else to be, but you were there alone for twenty dollars a night with five television stations and a watercolor print of Irish setters staring at you from the wall. There was no continental breakfast, and the free soap made your scalp itch. The Dynasty had locked all the balcony doors, but people still got through. The windows in this hotel did not open wide enough for anyone to jump.
Moses was tired of rented rooms. He didn’t want to deal with headboards rattling against the thin, non-insulated walls. He ran his hand over the medication lined up under a window. Astor Crane’s handwriting sketched out a schedule on a piece of the Pillar’s breakfast menu. According to his drug regimen, he would only sleep in two-hour sessions. There were five different pills to take in a constant rotation. A note reminding him to see Dr. Kostich for another round of radiation therapy was taped up on the glass. Moses tapped it with the rifle and then tossed the gun behind the bar. It crashed into some heart-shaped glasses and a few bottles tipped and spilled onto the floor. The carpet swallowed that too.
Moses planted his head against the glass window. He liked the cold. It made it easier to think. Mrs. Singh hadn’t looked right at him when he stepped on her face. Her eyes were closed. Moses knew he hadn’t stepped, he had stomped, but still, her eyes were closed. There were pieces of him, tiny skin cells left behind all over that house. There were footprints affixed to Mrs. Singh’s face. Everyone had seen them at Yuri’s bowling alley — watched Logan shout at Big Tina and B. Rex cry over what was left of Mrs. Singh. B. Rex was gone, but he couldn’t wipe the numbers off his neck. There was so much pus around the edges. Moses had seen it dripping down his friend’s neck. A scarf wouldn’t be able to hide the smell if those numbers got infected. They were going to slowly eat his flesh the longer B. Rex hid them from his father.
Al and Tommy Vine were still piled in the corner by the wall. Tommy was breathing, but he hadn’t moved since Astor crumpled to the floor. The bearded man had grown tired of whacking his head against the wall. His sunglasses were broken and drool slipped out the corner of his mouth. Bits of his brother still stuck to his face and poked out of his beard.
The Judge wouldn’t look at anyone. The ball sat in the corner and stared at the wall. Moses Moon picked up the piece of glass Jamie had found on the floor. He ran it over his palm but didn’t press down against the soft white skin. There were still purple bruises on his wrists. Elvira groaned in her sleep, and Moses sat down on the bed beside her. He ran a hand through her tangled blond hair and tried to undo a knot above her left ear.
The world outside looked wet. Stuttering lines of cherry light covered each body on the floor like spoiled film. Dorothy was awake now, and she remembered everyone who was in her dream. You were there, and so were you. Moses rolled the jagged glass up and down his palm. Bill Murray wasn’t saving anyone. He was standing on the sidelines. He was cracking jokes and smirking for the cameras while Logan shuddered inside a television. “We are the wretched refuse,” Bill Murray had said. He was lying — every time he spoke, it was someone else’s words.
Moses wanted to see Logan again, but all he could find were Logan’s fists and bleeding nose staring up from the ground. All he could find was Mr. Chatterton in that bone can, gasping for some air. His face was purple and Logan was trying to tell him he was sorry. He was so sorry. Everything was wet. Everything slipped through his hands. There was nothing to hold onto.
In the afterbirth of morning, Moses sat on the hotel bed and stroked his mother’s hair. He tossed the jagged bit of glass onto the plush carpet. Dorothy was talking on the screen. Moses listened to the faint noises echoing up from the streets below. He could hear sirens in the distance and someone was yelling hurry up, the bus would be here any minute, any minute now. A car failed to start and a dump truck was reversing down the alley next to the hotel. Moses focused on the yawning whine of the sirens. He stood up against the window and pressed his ear against the cold, pink glass. Elvira yawned and stretched out her arms to hug the air. She clutched what she could grab and pulled it tight against her chest. Moses Moon listened to the wailing. The moisture gathered on the glass and then began to fade. He agreed with that voice yelling in the street.
Any minute now.
Larkhill, Ontario, 1990
31
Half the kids on the frozen playground had bright yellow grocery bags tucked into their boots. Jamie Garrison sat on a bench and tried to ignore the ice melting beneath him. A breeze kept snatching bits of his newspaper and tossing them into the brittle branches above him. He had to use two hands to hold down a single page. Kansas was somewhere in the mess of kids trying to climb up the slide instead of traveling down it. She was wearing an orange snowsuit and a blue scarf around her face. By Jamie’s estimate, she had fallen down the slide five or six times.