If anything, he'd know in a while.
Jenna had sent Koran Dar not ten minutes after Triana hustled the other two Were-cats out the door. He knew so because he'd watched the clock hanging on his wall. His dizziness eased considerably over those ten minutes, enough to where he didn't have to hold onto the bed, but it got worse whenever he tried to sit up. Sapphire discouraged him from trying that by sitting on his chest. Her slight weight couldn't possibly hold him down, but when she stared at him with those reptilian eyes and told him not to get up, he couldn't really do much other than obey her.
Sapphire filled him in on what he said to Jesmind, what he couldn't remember, and he almost whistled. He had no idea any of that had happened, but he'd sounded plenty mad. Jesmind had accused him of being unfaithful, when in one case he never knew he was taken, and in the other she'd all but handed him to her competitor. It let him understand her seething hatred of Auli a little better. She thought that he was going to fall in love with her too, like he had with Kimmie, and if that happened, he wouldn't want to be a Were-cat again. She wasn't about to take his word for it, either. She obviously felt that him giving his word wasn't enough. He had the feeling that he may have made some kind of promise to her over Kimmie, one that he hadn't kept. A promise not to touch her or something, he wasn't sure. He couldn't remember anything about that.
Sometimes it was beyond frustrating. He knew that the answer was there, but he just couldn't remember what he needed to remember to find it. Having amnesia was at times a little interesting, since everything seemed new to him, but most of the time it was just a royal pain. People said things to him that he knew had to have some deeper meaning, but he'd lost the knowledge that would let him see it. Most of them didn't quite know how to treat him, and most of the things they talked about were beyond him. He knew that was why Keritanima and Allia hadn't been coming to see him quite as often as they had before. But then again, Kerri was married-and Teleporting back and forth between the Tower and Wikuna-and Allia had her own boyfriend. He couldn't begrudge either of them the chance to enjoy their own domestic lives, but a part of him felt that since they just didn't know or understand him as he was now, they weren't quite as willing to spend time with him. He wasn't really mad at them for it. Then again, he really didn't know either of them very well. He had to take it on faith that Allia was the closest friend he had and ever would have, and Keritanima was just as close to him as any other member of his family.
At least Allia made an effort to visit him every day. Even if was for just a few minutes, and often in the company of that Sha'Kar boyfriend of hers, Allyn, she would always stop by and have a chat, or they would go eat. Keritanima was much more sporadic, than that.
He couldn't really blame them. He knew they worried about him, but he was a stranger to them now. He was probably alot stranger to them than they ever imagined. From what he'd heard, he was very much different from the Tarrin they knew. He knew it had to be hard on them to come and talk to him and try to be upbeat and positive, when the radical alterations in both mind and body were so apparent, so blaringly obvious to them. He himself, to his own chiding, didn't miss their company as much as he knew he should have. He was a stranger to them, but they were also strangers to him. They called themselves his friend, but their friendship was virtually one-sided. Oh, he liked them, but he just didn't know them well enough to feel for them the same way they felt for him. About the only exceptions to that were Dolanna and Dar. He trusted Dolanna a great deal and he both liked and respected her, and he'd managed to learn that that was exactly how the Were-cat Tarrin felt about her too. That Tarrin, who dominated everyone around him, bowed to Dolanna in almost all things because of the towering respect he had for the diminutive Sorceress. Dar was also someone he very much called friend, but probably for different reasons. The Were-cat Tarrin probably had never seen Dar as a boy around his own age, someone that would understand the things he said in ways that most of the others never could. Dar understood becuase he could see it from a much more personal perspective.
There were also new friends. Koran Dar, he decided, was one of them. Tarrin rather liked the tall, dark-haired Amazon man, and he allowed him to do his magical examination without raising any fuss after he arrived. He answered all his questions as well as he could, and tried to relax when he felt that magic spell go into his mind and look around. He could only remember what happened last time Koran Dar snooped around his mind, when the Cat had attacked him. He didn't want that to happen again, and from the feel of it, neither did he. He was very careful this time not to wander into the deeper parts of Tarrin's mind, only checking around near the surface and looking for any signs that the attack had done him lasting harm.
"Well, that's that," he said with a nod. "Nothing's broken. The dizziness and disorientation you're feeling will fade after a while. Until then, stay in bed, see if you can take a short nap, and it would be a good idea for you to try to get some food down. I'll have the kitchens send you up something."
"Thanks," Tarrin said as the Amazon man rose from the side of his bed and started towards the door. "Koran Dar," he called.
"What is it?"
"I'm confused about something."
Koran Dar stopped in midstride, turned around, and sat back down on the bed. "What's troubling you?"
"It's nothing really serious," he said. "When I got all those gifts, Camara Tal gave me something," he said, pointing to the little steel charm sitting on the bedtable. "She said in her note that she'd been carrying it around for years, and she called it a hope charm. I don't really understand what she was trying to say, but I know there's more to it than that. What does it mean?"
Koran Dar picked up the little steel trinket, turned it over in his hands a few times, then chuckled softly. "She was carrying this because of me," he said in a distant tone. "I guess it's another indication of just how she feels about me. A hope charm is something an Amazon carries when they have a unfulfilled dream or wish," he explained. "It's said that if you carry it long enough and prove your devotion to Neme, she'll grant your wish. I guess this proves that old story," he chuckled again.
"What, you reconciled with her?" he asked.
Koran Dar nodded. "After all this business with the Firestaff is over, I'll be going back to Amazar for a year," he answered. "After that, I'll be resuming my duties here in the Tower. The Sha'Kar already agreed to ferry me back and forth until I can do for myself."
"That was nice of them."
"Jenna made them agree," Koran Dar laughed. "She may be young, but that's one steely little girl sometimes. She's definitely your sister."
"I guess that's a complement," he said uncertainly.
Koran Dar laughed heartily. "Yes, it is. It's funny that she gave this to you. You're the reason she's not carrying it anymore."
"Me? Why me?"
"Because sometimes, Tarrin, the best advice can come from the most unexpected sources," he replied with a smile. "Your reasoning made me think about things. I love Camara very much, but before now, she was never willing to concede anything to me, because of her pride and her social standing in Amazon society. I guess I was never willing to concede anything to her either, because I've always been very indignant about how I'm treated in our society. We were both too stubborn to give a finger, and it cost us years of potential happiness," he sighed. "But then you come along and revealed to me just how she felt about me, and how much she wanted me back. It made me realize just how much I wanted that very thing. We got together a few days ago and put everything on the table. She made some concessions, I made some concessions, and we realized that we've wasted fifteen years on petty bickering and foolish pride. If we'd been honest with each other and done this fifteen years ago, we could have been very happy."