I interlace my fingers with hers, careful to keep the sharp points of my talons away from her delicate skin. There is something about her that grounds me. Her steady gaze on me, trusting, despite all I have already put her through, since the first moment we sealed our bond in the wedding ceremony. Despite her thorny nature and sometimes thorny words, my Gen looks to me with hope and a trusting calm that makes my heart hurt.
I cannot let her down.
I will not.
Her hand squeezes against mine, and I feel it all the way in my chest.
I take a deep breath, and I begin reordering the words. For once, I am thankful for the endless lessons spent with the priestesses of the many-faced-goddess, something younger me would no doubt be agog at.
Because I recognize these words. Even in my state of heightened anxiety, my fear for my sweet golden human next to me spiking the closer the sharp points get, I recall them easily.
“For it is not the blossom of spring or the chill of winter, nor the first zitsu leaf of fall or the flood of the rainy season. It is none of these things, and it is all of them. She is in the riotous crack of thunder, the smile of sunlight, and the glint of water in moonlight. The many-faced-goddess is everywhere, and she speaks the language of truth.”
As soon as I slot the last word into place, the walls grind to a stop, the closest spike nudging against my hip.
“You did it. Oh my god, you did it,” Gen whispers, and as she sucks in a shaky breath, it hits me again, how foolish I’ve been to endanger her like this.
A new door swings open ahead of us, and the next room is not dark at all.
I’m so focused on what’s beyond, on my task of getting us out of here, that I don’t realize she’s wreathed her small hands around my neck until she gives my head a forceful tug.
And when her lips find mine again, possessive, searching, I nearly fucking lose my mind.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
GEN
I’m just so glad I didn’t get squished to death. I’m surfing the wave of adrenaline, hanging ten like a badass, and all I meant to do was hug Kanuz.
And then the next thing I know, I’m kissing the daylights out of him.
It feels really fucking great, too, like the whole damn death trap temple disappears from around us, leaving only the feeling of his hands on my back, his gentle mouth against mine.
It’s not enough. I want more.
I open my mouth, and he groans, his textured tongue rasping against my teeth. A taloned hand slides into my hair, tugging my head back as the kiss deepens. It’s not just a kiss anymore.
It’s a claiming.
It sears across my body, and desire shoots through me as Kanuz proves that all his practice did, in fact, make perfect.
My alien prince is a great kisser.
My alien prince? I pull up short, some sense finally driving itself into my skull.
Better sense than a sharp spike, I guess.
My breath’s coming in hard pants, like I’ve just run a mile. Kanuz stares down at me, his diamond pupils so dilated his eyes are nearly full black.
“Where do you think you are going?” he asks, the question husky and rough. His mouth slams into mine, his hand possessive and tight on the back of my neck. I love it.
I wriggle closer to him, giving in to the need to touch him, the need to feel the hard, reassuring muscle packed tight on him. He groans his approval, the sound blazing through me. More. Faster.
His tongue flicks against mine, rough and bumped and completely alien. I run my hands up the jacked curves of his biceps, and he tugs my head closer still, his other hand making gentle circles on the small of my back.
Shivers run down my spine, dampness pooling between my legs.
Something thick wraps around my ankle, and I break off the kiss in alarm only to realize it’s his tail.
“Okay,” I say, pulling away. “Good job.” My voice is unsteady and breathy and not at all like me.
“Why do you run from me, Gen?” Kanuz grates out, his body taut.
I want to rub my hands all over him. His skin—hide?—is tough, but smoother than it looks, and all that muscle? Yum.
But I don’t. I stare up at him, wild-eyed and breathless, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
“Is this some human courtship game? To make me want you until I am mad with needing to feel you deep inside?”
Oh god, not the dirty talk again.
“I just, Kanuz, I know you think we’re married—”
“We are married, wife.”
“Okay, but here’s the thing, I don’t know if I can be what you want me to be.” The statement spills out of me, and I blink, surprised by my own honesty.
Surprised by what I’m even freaking saying.
Because my rejection isn’t because of him. It’s not. The dang jolly green alien giant wormed his way into my brain. I want him.
He blinks slowly, his third eyelid retracting.
“Kanuz, I’m not a princess. I’m not a Suevan. This is all moving really fast. While I’d like to take a ride on the Prince Kanuz train, I know you’re just going to be upset when we’re back with the rest of your people.” If we get back. “I’m not ready for kids. Younglings. Babies. Like, not at all. In fact, I have an IUD—”
“I do not know this word.” He steps closer, his hands on my hips as he pulls me to him again. Ooh, I like that. Concern wrinkles his brow. “Are you ill? Did you leave a lover behind on Earth? Now that I know you did not come willingly…” Kanuz breaks off, staring at me with wide, open eyes.
“No, I have a—” I pause, casting around for the right word. “I have a thing inside me. It stops me from getting pregnant. It keeps your swimmers from meeting up with my eggs.” Eggs. “Oh god, you don’t expect me to lay an egg, do you?”
“I do not even know how to answer that question. Are you asking about how Suevan’s reproduce? We do not lay eggs.” He huffs a laugh, affection curling his lips into a small smile. “Our females gave birth, like yours. That is why we are a compatible species. Does that mean you are thinking about expelling this device? For me?” His fingers clench on my hips, and I nearly moan at the contact, at the clear desire in his touch.
“I can’t expel it. And no.” I shake my head. “No lover, not any that mattered. And no? I’m not thinking about expelling it?” But I say it like a question, and it’s clear from the look on his face that he thinks he’s persuaded me. I’m confused, because suddenly, I am imagining it. I am. And it freaks me right the fuck out. “Kanuz, seriously. I just… This timing is bad. Listen.” I take a step back from the alien looking like Christmas came early.
I swallow hard. Now is not the time to think about anything coming, Christmas or not.
“Tell me, my golden flower,” he murmurs, watching me carefully.
“I gave up all hope of a family after the Roth came to Earth. This is… This is a huge adjustment. I realize that the Federation is likely not going to accept us back with open arms.” A pang goes through my chest. “But… I don’t think I can just undo years worth of changing what I wanted after the Roth invasion.”