If she couldn’t trust Piper with this, who could she talk to?
But instead of saying anything, she got up and went to the cupboard and took out two water glasses, setting them on the island, and then headed to the fridge. Over her shoulder, she asked, “Do you want regular water or seltzer? I also have soda or juice.”
“Regular water is fine. Just make sure there’s no alcohol in it.” Piper snorted. “No need for a repeat performance of what got us here in the first place. I’m not mentally ready for round two yet.”
“Me neither. Water coming up, the wine stays put.” Caroline pulled a ready pitcher of filtered water out of the fridge and poured them each a glass. She handed Piper hers and took a sip of her own before she sat back down on her stool and picked up her chopsticks, clicking them together absentmindedly. “So”—she directed the sticks at another sushi roll—“what if I told you I didn’t want to let the conversation go? That I don’t really want to forget about what happened here the other night?” Then she conveniently popped another roll into her mouth so she wouldn’t have to answer for a minute.
“Huh?” Piper said, taking a swig of her water, her head angled at Caroline. Then she coughed and had to pound on her chest. When she was more composed, and could get the words out, she sputtered, “What did you just say? I don’t think I heard you right. You want to continue this conversation?”
Caroline swallowed, but couldn’t help grinning at her friend, who was still trying to clear the errant liquid out of her lungs. “Maybe I do.” She took a sip of her own water. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
* * *
Jace couldn’t focus on his work. All he could think about was his wife. She’d been distant all week. They’d talked about what had happened with the swing a little more and had come to an agreement. He wouldn’t bring up other people again, and they both promised to move forward.
Caroline had insisted she was fine, but he knew better.
They hadn’t had sex in days. He’d tried to coax her down to the basement bedroom to try out the bed with the mirrors, but she’d mumbled some reason or another for why she wasn’t up for it.
What Michael had said about not being able to go back to ordinary was beginning to plague him. He’d made a promise to Caroline not to infuse anything extra into their lovemaking, but he couldn’t help thinking that the next time they had sex it would be stale, both of them knowing what it could be, but neither of them mentioning it.
That could be the first nail in the coffin.
He ran a hand through his hair right as his phone rang. He plucked it up, hopeful it was his wife. “Hello, this is Jason Stratton.” A regular customer from Nebraska was on the line, an old farmer who bought from the company regularly. “Oh, hi, Buck. Yep, I can check on that, no problem. I’ve been just fine, and so has the missus. I’ll tell her you said so. Yep, the weather is nice up here. Let me check on that shipment, and I’ll call you back within the hour.” He hung up.
Jace had to find a way to busy himself with work so he wouldn’t call Caroline again. He had already tried her twice in the last hour, but she wasn’t answering. It wasn’t like her, and he couldn’t imagine she was drunk in the kitchen with Piper again. But it was only two hours until quitting time. He just had to get through the rest of the day. It was Friday night, and he’d just made reservations for a nice dinner date out. Once he got home, he’d convince her to go out, and once they got there he’d beg her to tell him what the real problem was so they could fix it.
They had to get back to some kind of normal—he cringed—soon, or it was going to make him crazy. But, truth be told, he’d do anything to keep his wife happy—even if it was ordinary.
* * *
“Run that by me again.” Piper rinsed her hands under the faucet. They’d finished lunch and were cleaning up. “You’re scared of what, exactly?”
Caroline had decided to trust Piper and confess everything that had been swirling through her mind this week. As well as last week. The feelings inside were wearing her out, and this wasn’t something she could confide to Jason—yet. She wanted to get it all sorted out in her own mind before they had that conversation.
It had taken her a few tries, but she’d just finished describing her explicit daydreams to Piper, along with all the emotions and feelings she’d been grappling with every time her mind had wandered in that direction. “What am I not scared about?” Caroline finally answered. “I’m terrified of everything. I just told you I wanted another man’s lips on my…body. It’s all I can think about! Each time, the daydream gets a little raunchier. It’s making me feel like an insane person.”
“Okay, stop right there.” Piper held up her hand. “If this isn’t time for the praline ice cream, I don’t know when is.” Piper walked purposefully over to the fridge and yanked open the freezer door, then plucked two spoons out of a drawer. Caroline adored that Piper felt so at home here. When Caroline was at Piper’s house, she usually deferred to Piper, never feeling like she could take charge in another person’s kitchen comfortably. “We’re eating this straight out of the carton, too. I don’t want to hear any arguments.” Piper slid into her seat next to Caroline’s at the island and handed her a spoon. “Eat first, then we’ll talk you through this.”
Caroline obliged her friend and dug her spoon into the ice cream.
She was happy to have a few minutes to get her thoughts back in order. She’d basically blurted everything out in one long breath. Piper must think she was unhinged. Or, like her mother would say, depraved. Caroline spooned a cold, creamy bite into her mouth and sighed.
So sweet, and so very needed.
Piper was a genius.
After a few more scoops, Piper lowered her spoon and crossed her forearms. “Okay. So I need you to be extremely clear with me here. You only want to have sex with your husband, right? Meaning his penis is the only penis for you?”
Caroline nodded and felt a blush rising on her cheeks.
“But in your fantasy, you watch another couple go at it first, but in order to come, you need a little extra something-something from the gallery?” She put her fingers together about an inch apart. “Just a little.”
“I guess.” Caroline gave a noncommittal shrug. “But, honestly, I think I may have spoken a little too prematurely. It’s not sitting right with me now that I’m hearing it relayed back to me. I think I made a mistake by making this a big deal. Daydreams are just that—dreams. They don’t need to be made into reality. Plenty of women and men have dreams that they never act on. I’m being silly even bringing this up. Just forget I said anything. This is so embarrassing.” She waved her hand and dug the spoon back into the carton.
Piper shook her head. “You’re not being silly at all. That’s your guilt talking. But I get it, I do. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you’re ready to jump into anything…yet. But I have to tell you”—Piper lifted her own spoon off the counter and dipped it back into the ice cream—“what you’re telling me you need is very small on the ‘experimental level’ of sexcapades. If you decide you want to try something like that down the line, and can work through some of the emotional issues ahead of time, my suggestion is to go and watch only. Come home, see how you feel. Remember, baby steps are key—super, tiny, cute baby steps. That’s the ticket to sexual happiness, and don’t forget it.” She popped the spoon into her mouth and licked her lips. “Mmm, this ice cream is so good,” she said around a full bite. “How did I not ever try it until I met you?”
Caroline chuckled. “It’s a Southern thing.” She took another bite for herself and savored the flavor. Once she was done, she set her spoon down. “Okay, I hear what you’re saying, and I don’t mean to be rude, but if Jace and I decided this was something we wanted to investigate more fully—in the much-distant future—who would we connect with to do it? I love you and Michael to death, but I…it would never be with someone we know. There isn’t exactly a 1-800 number for this, so I’m not sure how to progress.”