Without warning, her mind instantly began to replay what had just happened, over and over again. She had no way to stop it. She’d been mesmerized by Emma and Pete fucking. She loved watching them. When Emma orgasmed the first time, Caroline almost came herself. The entire time the Slaters had been connected, Pete’s cock in Emma’s pussy, Caroline had imagined what it would feel like—yearned for what it would feel like to have Pete’s mouth on her breasts as Jace drove his cock into her. And, even though she kept fighting it in her mind, her body hadn’t cooperated.
And that’s exactly what she’d let happen!
Except it hadn’t been his mouth, it had been his fingers—thank goodness!
She wanted to weep.
Why be married and committed to someone if you wanted someone else? Or wanted their hands and mouth all over your body?
When her lungs were burning, she was forced to come up for a breath.
When she did, she felt out of it and a little startled. She had a hard time focusing as she glanced around her. How in the hell did she get here? With these strangers? She’d found herself in a real nightmare. Of course, she knew physically how she’d gotten here, but emotionally? It seemed utterly impossible in this moment to connect the dots.
Her head was throbbing. She literally couldn’t focus on anything, and her heartbeat whooshed in her ears.
Jace pounded on the door. “Please, baby, please let me in! I’m so sorry.” She could tell his forehead rested against the door. “It’s all my fault. You have to forgive me, Care. Please open the door!”
She couldn’t answer him.
She had to get out of this place.
It was like watching dirty porn after sex was over. Once you were done having your climax, you wanted to forget that porn ever played a part. Emma and Pete’s lair was so over-the-top—so gauche and indulgent. It was the porn that kept playing long after the act. The Slaters had known there was a good chance she and Jace would lose control—that they’d be so turned on they wouldn’t be able to help themselves—and they’d said nothing!
Nothing!
As Caroline climbed out of the hot tub, she reached for a towel, one of eight that hung around the room on various towel bars. How many did they need anyway? Emma had told them they didn’t do orgies, but that had to be a load of crap. Everything was oversized, and everything about it disgusted Caroline.
She was going to vomit.
Caroline raced for the toilet, which was through another door. We wouldn’t want anyone to see someone peeing from the hot tub! She clutched her towel around her body, knelt down, and threw up, heaving hard.
“Caroline!” Jace yelled. “Are you okay? Answer me!”
After a few more heaves, she slumped on the floor, feeling miserable and so sorry for herself, her brain still not fully engaged. She didn’t care if she was overreacting. In fact, she didn’t care about anything other than getting out of here.
She couldn’t bring herself to answer her husband.
Once she did, the tide of tears would overwhelm her.
She needed privacy for her breakdown. She rested her head in her hands. How could Jace have let them go so far? He knew who she was! Knew what this would do to her!
Sorrow settled over her, pressing down so hard she felt like passing out. She gathered the towel to her chest. She half-whispered, half-cried, “How could I have let this happen? I loved my life. Now”—she broke into a sob—“I don’t even know who I am.”
“Caroline, if you don’t answer me right now, I’m going to kick this door in,” Jace called, his voice pained. “Pete doesn’t have a key. They’ve looked.”
Of course Pete didn’t have a key!
They’d probably never had a guest lock themselves in like this in the history of the Pleasure Paradise. Why would they? It would make it too hard for their orgy participants to find each other. She pulled herself up from the floor. “I’ll be out soon,” she called weakly. “Just give me a minute.”
Her voice sounded dead to her own ears. Her head was still spinning. There was nothing she could do to clear it. It felt like there was an ocean roiling inside her head.
“Okay,” Jace said, relief in his voice. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll be ready when you get out.”
“Your clothes are in here,” she answered quietly.
“I’m borrowing some sweats from Pete. Don’t worry about it. We’ll leave right when you come out.”
Caroline dropped her towel and found her clothing. She was dressed in less than a minute. She glanced into the mirror and ran a hand through her wet hair. She wasn’t about to open any drawers to see if there was a brush. She knew she’d find things she didn’t want to see. There was probably a dildo in every drawer.
She shivered and covered her mouth. She wanted to vomit again, but there was nothing left in her stomach.
She paused in front of the door and took a deep breath. She wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone. She would simply walk out, go up the stairs, and head straight out the front door.
For the first time in her life, she didn’t care if she was rude to the host and hostess.
Fuck them.
* * *
Jace kept stealing furtive glances at his wife during the ride home. She’d finally exited the bathroom, looking pale and spent, and as upset as he’d ever seen her the entire time they’d been together. She’d made a beeline for the car, and he’d followed without a word.
He’d made a huge, horrible mistake letting his need for sexual gratification overpower his common sense.
His wife was fragile and carried guilt around her like a straitjacket she could never take off. He’d made her a promise to take it back to the bathroom if they decided to have sex, and he’d failed miserably. How easy would it have been to pick her up and carry her in there? Pete had even asked permission to touch his wife! Jace could’ve easily denied him. He’d known damn well that, even though Caroline was ready in the moment, she wouldn’t want to deal with the implications later.
He’d fucked up.
Now he had to make it right somehow.
Jace tried again. “Care, please forgive me.” Nothing but silence. “I need you to talk to me at the very least. I take full responsibility. You have every right to be angry at me. I’m going to make it up to you. I swear.”
His wife remained steadfast in her refusal to speak, her gaze never even sliding toward him. They were close to home, only about five minutes away. He had to convince her before they got home that it was going to be okay. “We’re going to get through this. I promise you. What happened with the Slaters was not a game changer. You have to believe me. We know our limits now, and it won’t happen again.”
She pressed her hands against her temples and stared out the window.
Caroline had always said that women who used the silent treatment as a punishment were weak and scared to tackle life head on. She’d never used it before. She was an issue-tackler to the core of her being. It worried him because she wasn’t normally weak, or scared to say what she was feeling. This time, it seemed as if she was resigned to something awful.
Jace pulled into the garage and shut off the car, turning to her before she could get out, gripping her wrist lightly. “Care, wait. I know you’ve heard everything I’ve said, but I realize words are not enough. So I’m going to prove it to you, starting right this minute, that we’re going to get through this. Neither of us had sex with someone else. I know we went too far for your comfort, but it’s nothing we can’t recover from. I know you feel like we jeopardized something as a couple, but please know that’s not the case. We never have to see the Slaters again. We never have to participate in anything outside of the two of us again, if that’s what you want. We can make this work. We love each other too much to let this get between us.”
Caroline turned to look at him and simply nodded. Then she got out of the SUV.