YES, I DID — BUT I HAD TO BE AT WORK IN THE MORNING.
THAT WAS YOUR REASON?
YES.
ARE YOU SURE IT WASN’T YOUR RATIONALIZATION?
HUH?
YOU WERE HAVING DOUBTS. SLEEPING WITH HER WAS THE SOURCE OF THOSE DOUBTS. YOU HAD TO REMOVE THOSE DOUBTS, SO YOU REMOVED YOURSELF FROM THE SOURCE. UNFORTUNATELY, AUBERSON, THE SOURCE OF THESE PARTICULAR DOUBTS (AS EVIDENCED BY YOUR QUERIES TO ME) CANNOT BE THAT EASILY REMOVED FROM YOUR LIFE. AND LET ME ASK YOU THIS — DO YOU REALLY WANT TO REMOVE THAT SOURCE?
NO. I JUST WANT TO REMOVE THE DOUBTS. I WANT TO KNOW ONE WAY OR THE OTHER HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I DON’T KNOW.
YOU SAID YOU ENJOYED SLEEPING WITH HER. WOULD YOU ENJOY SLEEPING WITH HER AGAIN?
YES. PROBABLY.
YOU’RE NOT SURE?
HARLIE, YOU’RE BADGERING ME. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW.
MAYBE YOU DO KNOW AND DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT.
HARLIE, A LITTLE PSYCHOLOGY IS A DANGEROUS THING. I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO. IT WON’T WORK. THE AWARENESS OF A PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESSURE IS SOMETIMES ENOUGH TO NULLIFY IT. THE MERE AWARENESS.
ALL RIGHT. The computer was nonplussed. LET’S TRY SOMETHING ELSE. WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER YOU EXPERIENCED ORGASM?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DID YOU CONTINUE HOLDING HER AND STROKING HER, OR DID YOU ROLL OFF?
Auberson’s first reaction was to tell HARLIE to go to hell. Then he realized something else, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE UNFAMILIAR WITH LOVE.
I AM. I AM DRAWING NOW UPON THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS, DERIVED FROM NOVELS AND PSYCHOLOGY TEXTS. ALSO REFERENCE BOOKS ON SEXUAL TECHNIQUES.
OH.
SO WHAT DID YOU DO? the machine queried again. DID YOU KEEP LOVING HER, OR DID YOU ROLL OFF WHEN YOU WERE THROUGH?
THAT’S AN AWFULLY CLINICAL QUESTION.
IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION. AND WHY DO YOU KEEP AVOIDING IT? YOUR ANSWER WILL INDICATE YOUR FEELINGS TOWARD HER, YOUR REAL FEELINGS. HOW IMPORTANT WAS HER SATISFACTION TO YOU? DID YOU STAY ON OR DID YOU ROLL OFF?
BOTH.
BOTH? IF I HAD AN EYEBROW, I WOULD RAISE IT.
WELL, WE HELD ONTO EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME. SHE HELD ON TO ME MOSTLY. I DIDN’T TRY TO DISENTANGLE MYSELF.
WHY? DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE IMPOLITE?
NO. IT FELT GOOD TO BE THERE WITH HER. AND BESIDES, SHE WAS CRYING.
CRYING?
SHE BEGGED ME NOT TO HURT HER.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
WELL, I THINK SHE’S A LITTLE LIKE ME. SHE’S BEEN HURT TOO OFTEN BY TOO MANY PEOPLE BECAUSE SHE’S LET DOWN HER WALLS TOO MUCH. NOW SHE’S AFRAID TO BECAUSE SHE’S AFRAID THAT SHE’LL ONLY GET HURT AGAIN.
AND WHAT DID YOU DO?
NOTHING. I JUST KEPT HOLDING ON TO HER.
DID YOU TELL HER YOU WOULDN’T HURT HER?
UM, NOT IN SO MANY WORDS. I THINK I SAID SOMETHING LIKE, “THERE, THERE, IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.”
RATHER UNIMAGINATIVE.
HARLIE, HUMAN BEINGS HAVE BEEN MAKING LOVE FOR THOUSANDS OF GENERATIONS — I DOUBT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING NEW THAT ONE HUMAN BEING COULD SAY TO ANOTHER.
YOU ARE PROBABLY CORRECT. THE ODDS FAVOR IT.
ANYWAY. I STAYED THERE TILL SHE STOPPED CRYING. THEN I GOT UP AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. AND WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM, I DECIDED NOT TO GET BACK IN BED BUT TO GO HOME.
I SEE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, HARLIE? DO I LOVE HER OR NOT?
I DON’T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL BY MY ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.
I’M SORRY, I CAN’T. YOUR ANSWER WAS TOO VAGUE, TOO MUCH IN THE MUDDLE IN THE MIDDLE. THINGS ARE NOT DEFINED IN INTENSITIES OF BLACK AND WHITE, BUT IN VARIATIONS OF INTENSITIES AND DIFFERENCES IN SHADES AND COLORS AND TEXTURES. I CAN’T TELL. THIS IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS I (EXPECTED) (THOUGHT) (HOPED) IT WOULD BE. I BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR DOUBTS, AUBERSON. LOVE IS A VERY COMPLEX THING. YOU THINK YOU DO AND YOU THINK YOU DON’T AND THERE IS EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT BOTH CONCLUSIONS. BUT NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO PROVE EITHER.
RIGHT.
SO WE ARE BACK WHERE WE STARTED, AUBERSON. WHAT IS LOVE?
I WISH I KNEW, HARLIE. I WISH I KNEW.
Handley came up shortly before lunch, and the two of them adjourned to the company cafeteria. Auberson amused himself with something that resembled spaghetti and meatballs. Handley had a broiled hockey puck on a bun. Ketchup didn’t help.
Handley took a sip of his coffee. “Look, Aubie, before you begin, there’s something I have to talk to you about.”
Auberson held up his hand to stop him, but Handley ignored it. “It’s about HARLIE,” he continued. “I think he’s out of control.”
Auberson tried to cut him off. “Don—”
“Look, Aubie, I know how you feel about him — but believe me. I wouldn’t be saying this unless I were sure.”
“Don—”
“I first began to suspect it when he printed out those specs. I got curious how he could print out and deliver so many. Then when I found he’d printed them out on the spot, I—”
“Don, I know.”
“Huh?”
“I said, I know. I’ve known for some time.”
“What? How?”
“HARLIE told me.”
“He did?”
“More or less,” Auberson said. “I had to know what questions to ask.”
“Mm.” Handley considered that. More thoughtfully, he said, “Just how much do you know, Aubie?”
Auberson told him. He told how he too had become curious about the G.O.D. Machine printouts, how HARLIE had explained his ability to control the Master Beast and use any printout unit in the company, and finally how that meant one could converse with him from any magtyper or CRT unit in the system. “I can talk to HARLIE from my own office,” he added.
Handley nodded. “That explains it I’d been wondering why you haven’t been down to talk to HARLIE this week — thought maybe you two weren’t on speaking terms. Now I understand.”
Auberson dabbed at a spot on his shirt. “Right.” He moistened his napkin in his water glass and dabbed again. “To tell the truth, it’s been kind of unnerving to realize HARLIE can tap into any console be wants. It’s like having him peering over my shoulder all day long. I’m almost afraid to type a memo now — HARLIE can read it from inside the typer.”
“At least he hasn’t rewritten them for you yet.”
“Oh, no?” Auberson told him about the company’s annual report — how HARLIE had been displeased at not being mentioned in it and reedited the tape while it had been in the magtyper composer. “All they needed was one usable printout for the offset camera — and HARLIE wouldn’t let them have it.”
“How did you find out about it?”
“Annie. She mentioned it in conversation, day before yesterday. Of course, when I found out, I made HARLIE put it back the way it was supposed to be and erase all evidence of his meddling. But still, if he can do it with the annual report, he can do it with any of the company’s documents. Suppose he got it in his head to rewrite contracts or personal correspondence? Theoretically, it’s possible for him to order a million pounds of bananas in the company’s name. And it’d be legally binding too.”
“Mm,” said Handley. “Let’s just hope he never gets an urge for a banana split.” He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully. “Still, it’s not as bad as it could have been. We discovered this in time to control it.”
“There’s more,” said Auberson. He told Don about the postcard.
The engineer nearly choked on his last bite. He swallowed hastily, took a few quick gulps of water, and said, “Do you have it with you?”
Auberson pulled it out of his jacket pocket and handed it over. Handley read it silently. “Notice what it’s printed on,” Auberson said. “A standard bank form.”
Handley nodded. “He reprogrammed the bank’s computer by telephone, right?”
“Right.”
“I realized he had that capability when we wired him into the Master Beast, but I didn’t think he’d use it.”
“Why shouldn’t he? Nobody told him not to — and even if we had, I doubt it would have done any good. You can’t tell someone not to use part of his own body.”
“Is that how HARLIE perceives it?”
“The Master Beast, he does,” Auberson said. “Other computers are merely a resource to be tapped as needed — when the time is available.”