Also, I am pleased to inform you I have found a doctor willing to write a prescription for ABHR cream. The only compound pharmacy in Seattle that will fill it, unfortunately, does not deliver. I inquired about messenger services, but, alas, the pharmacy insists that you pick up the prescription because they are required by law to review the side effects with you in person.
Attached please find the address of the pharmacy and a copy of the prescription.
Warm regards,
Manjula
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10
From: Bernadette Fox
To: Manjula Kapoor
I’m heading down to the pharmacy now. Not a terrible thing to be getting out of the house while this infernal machine with spikes, telescoping arms, and vicious rotors is chewing up my hillside and spraying mulch everywhere. Tom has literally lashed himself on top of the beast so he doesn’t get bucked off. I wouldn’t be surprised if it starts spitting fire.
Oh! The fishing vests arrived. Thank you! Already, I’ve tucked away my glasses, car keys, cell phone. I may never take this thing off.
From: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal
To: Audrey Griffin
As Ollie-O would say… REAL-TIME 
FLASH!
I told you I was being made admin of a new team? I just found out the team is Samantha 2, headed by none other than Elgin Branch!
Audrey, my body is a cauldron of emotions right now! When Elgin unveiled Samantha 2 at the TED conference in February, it caused a near riot on the Internet. In less than a year, his is the fourth-most-watched TEDTalk of all time. Bill Gates recently said his favorite project in the whole company is Samantha 2. Last year, Elgin was given a Technical Recognition Award, Microsoft’s highest honor. The Samantha 2 guys, and Elgin in particular, are like rock stars around here. You go over to Studio West and you can tell by their swagger they’re on Samantha 2. I know I’m good at my job, but to be put on Samantha 2 means everyone here knows it, too. It’s a giddy feeling.
Then there’s Elgin Branch himself. His rudeness and arrogance that day on the Connector, it was a slap in the face that still stings. Wait until you hear what happened this morning.
I went to HR to get my new key card and office assignment. (In ten years, this is the first time I’ve had a window office!) I was unpacking my photos, mugs, and snow baby collection when I looked up and saw Elgin Branch across the atrium. He wasn’t wearing any shoes, just socks, which I found odd. I caught his eye and waved. He vaguely smiled, then kept walking.
I decided to be proactive (one of the three P’s that serve as the interpersonal foundation for Victims Against Victimhood) and initiate our first face-to-face meeting in our new roles as manager and admin.
Elgin was at his stand-up desk, his hiking boots in a tangle at his feet. Immediately, I was struck by the number of patent cubes haphazardly piled around the office. (Anytime a developer patents something, he receives a ceremonial cube, a cute thing we do at MS.) My last GM had four. On Elgin’s windowsill alone there were twenty, not to mention those that had fallen on the floor.
“Is there something I can do for you?” he said.
“Good morning.” I straightened myself. “I’m Soo-Lin Lee-Segal, the new admin.”
“Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.
“We’ve actually met. I have a son, Lincoln, at Galer Street, in Bee’s class.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Of course.”
The Dev lead, Pablo, popped his head in. “It’s a beautiful day, neighbor.” (Everyone on the team teases Elgin with Mr. Rogers references. It’s a quirk of Elgin’s, apparently, that as soon as he gets inside, like Mr. Rogers, he removes his shoes. Even on his TEDTalk, which I just rewatched, Elgin is standing there in his socks. In front of Al Gore and Cameron Diaz!) “We’re on for noon,” Pablo went on. “We have a third-party meeting in South Lake Union. How about we turn it into lunch downtown? Wild Ginger?”
“Great,” answered Elgin. “It’s next to the light rail station. I can go straight to the airport.” I had seen on the Samantha 2 calendar that Elgin has an out-of-town presentation tomorrow.
Pablo turned, and I introduced myself. “Hooray!” he said. “Our new admin! Man, we’ve been dying around here without you. How about you join us for lunch?”
“You must have heard my stomach growling,” I chirped. “I have a car. I can drive us downtown.”
“Let’s take the 888 Shuttle,” Elgin said. “I’m going to need the Wi-Fi to get some emails out.”
“The 888 Shuttle it is,” I said, insulted at the rejection but a little consoled because the 888 Shuttle is for VPs and up, and this will be my first opportunity to ride it. “Wild Ginger at noon. I’ll make a reservation.”
So here I am now, dreading the meal on what should be the happiest day of my life. Oh, Audrey, I hope your day is going better than mine.
From: Audrey Griffin
To: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal
Who cares about Elgin Branch? I care about you. I’m so proud of everything you’ve overcome since the divorce. Finally, you’re getting the recognition you deserve.
My day is going dandy. A machine is ripping out all the blackberry vines from Bernadette’s hill. It has put me in such soaring spirits that I am able to laugh off an incident at Galer Street that otherwise might have landed me in a snit.
Gwen Goodyear grabbed me this morning and asked to speak privately in her office. Who was sitting there in a big leather chair with his back to me? Kyle! Gwen shut the door and went behind her desk. There was a chair next to Kyle, so I sat down.
Gwen opened her drawer. “We found something in Kyle’s locker yesterday.” She held up an orange pill bottle. It had my name on it — it was the Vicodin prescription I got after Our Lady of Straight Gate tried to plow me over in her car.
“What’s that doing here?” I said.
“Kyle?” Gwen said.
“I don’t know,” said Kyle.
“Galer Street has a zero-tolerance drug policy,” Gwen said.
“But it’s prescription medicine,” I said, still not understanding her point.
“Kyle,” Gwen said. “Why was it in your locker?”
I did not like where this was going. Not one bit. I told her: “I went to the emergency room thanks to Bernadette Fox. I left on crutches, if you remember. I asked Kyle to hold my purse, and the prescription medicine. Good Lord.”
“When did you realize your Vicodin was missing?” Gwen asked.
“Not until this moment,” I said.
“Why is the bottle empty? Let Kyle answer this, Audrey.” She turned to Kyle. “Kyle, why is it empty?”
“I don’t know,” Kyle answered.
“I’m sure it was empty when we got it,” I said. “You know how understaffed they are over at the UW Medical. They probably forgot to fill it. Are we done yet? Maybe you haven’t heard, but I’m hosting a party tomorrow for sixty prospective parents.” I got up and left.
Now that I write this, I’d like to know what Gwen Goodyear was doing in Kyle’s locker. Don’t they have locks on them? Isn’t that why they’re called lockers?
All our lockers have combination locks built into the doors. It’s a total drag to turn the little dials back and forth a million times whenever you need to get something. Everyone hates it. But Kyle and the juvies figured out a way around it, which is to smash the locks until they break off. Kyle’s locker door is permanently ajar. That’s what Ms. Goodyear was doing in Kyle’s locker.
From: Bernadette Fox