I’m thinking I will still continue working at the Tomato to supplement my income a little, but with both Dan and Jenifer working there now it’s time to attempt at least some sort of minor effort to change. Too many hands dipping in the same till will get me busted, so I think maybe subconsciously I am trying to make a change towards recapturing my honest business practices. My sense of Bushi. I make less than 4 dollars an hour STILL and you just can’t make a dollar out of fifteen cents sometimes. Sooo, even though I won’t be changing industries (oooh check out my ‘high-tech’ lingo usage), I’ll be changing jobs. Maybe I can do a little table waiting and pick up some tips at the new place, and then I’ll at least have waiter training and be able to move on again someday. I can always fall back on the welding I learned in high school if the cooking industry bottoms out. At least welders get to wear the cool looking Imperial-Guard-Star Wars-helmets and that’s not too bad.
For the most part it’s pretty nice to work in a place where you can eat. That way if all the other money has to go to the bills there is always some food around to eat in really desperate times. It’s also cool to be in a place where I can work, eat and smoke pot in the freezer all at the same time. The ice cream parlor aspect of this new job is a slight bonus, but my first damn job was at a Baskin Robbins and it took me years to be able to stand ice cream again after creating so many vile concoctions with customized flavors and combinations. A word to the Baskin Robbins Company: never leave anyone under 21 in charge of an ice cream store!
I figure since Jenifer and I eat at Swensen’s anyway, she can come up there to eat club sandwiches while it’s slow. She can be finicky when it comes to eating the only crap we can afford to eat sometimes.
School is going okay. It’s difficult to get up at 10 am (early is a time relative to when I actually go to bed). It’s hard enough to leave bed, but I also must leave the entanglements of such a beautiful woman behind me. Still I go. Plodding to class in the heat with more heat added on top of that, while hormonally IN heat is not an easy task, especially when there are cool forbidden sexual delights at home. Ahhh well. big sigh. Sometimes both of us sleeping in my regular twin bed can get a little crowded but I really do love it. Have I mentioned I love Jenifer thirty times today yet?
We finally got cable TV in the house and Jenifer will sit with me in my lap on the big easy chair in the living room and watch the Discovery Channel and old Star Trek reruns while I bong out with Skeletor. I feel very content when I spend days and days doing this. It really makes me so grateful for everything. Must be all those juicy love vibes I’m getting, plus I’m learning a lot about World War II and animals so it counts as productive educational time.
Occasionally we all pitch in some of our money to get some cocaine and then stay up all night playing cards and Super Nintendo. Personally I’m not much of a speed person. I don’t like feeling nervous and jittery, but Jen and I fuck like rabbits when we’re on coke. It’s very nice. I can see why people become addicts I suppose, but sex and awareness of the world around me doesn’t really rule my life. I guess I’m just more of a turn on, tune in, drop out kind of goodfellow. Jerry and Jenifer like doing coke a lot though. Every girl I’ve ever seen doing coke loves it way more than anything else she’s ever tried. When you score it from the dealer they actually call it “girl” since so many broads go fucking nuts over the shit. I thought it was kind of funny when I found out a drug was nicknamed after the gender that prefers it. I think it must affect women differently on a more personal level. Maybe confidence is something all girls lack in their lives and cocaine can fill that gap chemically. Temporarily. I don’t really get it…I wonder what “boy” is?
I really was so disappointed with cocaine because it was supposed to be the greatest drug of all time and it was a really big deal for me to do it the first time. Then it turned out to be (relatively) tame and not very much fun, which meant all the lies I ever heard about cocaine were more paranoid drug war bullshit.
“Just say no, or your arms will fall off. LSD makes you think you can fly and jump off buildings.” Fuck that! I hate when I find out that I’ve been misled into being good for my entire life. TELL ME THE TRUTH AMERICA! I promise I will think about my decisions more rationally if you do.
Good news! My soul mate and I are planning a trip out to Baja, Mexico for the Christmas holidays. Jenifer’s getting restless again and we both need a road trip to instill some sense of our faith in Americana. I gotta get out on the road, read the road signs in different places and encounter people with values that will continually surprise me. It will be our first road trip together. Awww, how fucking sweet.
We’ll be going to Arizona and California and then down to Baja to catch the migration of the grey whales as they head back up the coastline for mating season. It’s supposed to be an incredible experience where they take you out in a boat and you get so close you can actually touch the whales if you want to. That’s the rough plan anyway; we’ll see how it goes. It’s nice to have some sort of vacation plan ahead to give a little excitement to the monotony of our everyday existence. Isn’t that great? I write a lot about how happy I am and then can’t wait to get out of town away from the doldrums. I’m an oxymoron.
One of my managers at work, David, along with his younger brother Gabe are both totally obsessed with doing heroin. Gabe gives Jenifer and I free sandwiches from Schlotsky’s when he’s working sometimes, so we really like him and the strange isolationist groove that he has. I’m sure he likes Jenifer more than me though. It usually works out that way with the guys and her. We are like magnets to weirdos, but mostly good-hearted weirdos.
The smack thing has become some sort of quest for them. They have bought pharmacology books and researched the effects heroin has on the body. I suppose it’s all the glamour and hype that is going on about it lately that has them obsessed, it’s what their excuse would be I’m sure, but I think they really want to try it because we’ve all run out of drugs to do. Everything else is boring or expensive and hurtful (cocaine). I must admit though, that I share some of the same interest that they have to try it. This will be the last drug I ever experiment with. If it lets me down then I’ll move on.
It’s harder than hell to find smack in rural town USA, but I’m sure someone in this college town has it somewhere. Real life isn’t like the movies where you can find people selling drugs on any corner and the first one is free to get you hooked into some drug dealer’s evil scheme. Dammit. I think I’ve located and done about every illegal drug that there is by now, except for PCP, and I’ve discovered that all the textbooks and good fucking Samaritan police officers that came to my school when I was a child to talk about the evils of drug abuse were all full of a big steaming peanut-filled pile of uneducated shit. So I’m guessing that heroin will turn out to be along the same lines, another disappointment.