Also regarding Ted Nash, in less than three minutes, he’d managed to totally piss me off. First, I’m not a clown, Ted, and my wife is not a bitch. As for the other thing… well, it happened. Even Kate can make a mistake with men. I’m sure not all of her boyfriends were John Coreys.
She must have guessed what I was thinking about, and she finished another glass of champagne and said, “It never happened. He was lying.”
Well, I couldn’t ask Dead Ted, so I let it go. “CIA guys lie,” I said.
“Believe me.”
She had Ted’s Glock, so I said, “I believe you, sweetheart.”
Being a lawyer and an FBI agent, she informed me, “I can explain the first and second shot as self-defense. I can’t explain the other six shots.”
I suggested, “Let’s say Ted challenged you to hit him eight times.” I added, “Actually, I’d be happy to take the rap-or the credit-for killing him.”
“Thanks, but… I’ll handle it.”
We moved back into the ELF room to check the security monitors, and we saw Schaeffer’s guys arriving in marked and unmarked cars, with an ambulance, all lined up on McCuen Pond Road behind the closed gate.
Oddly, the gate wasn’t opening, and the lead car smashed through it.
Then, two uniformed troopers went into the gatehouse, and a few minutes later, two EMS guys from the ambulance carried a body on a stretcher out of the gatehouse and back toward the ambulance.
Kate asked me, “What’s that about?”
“I’m pretty sure Derek is dead.”
“Dead?”
“Yeah. Madox needed him to tidy up the lodge and get rid of the van I borrowed from Rudy. But Madox didn’t want Derek talking about that, or talking about where everyone was in the fallout shelter… so he got someone to get rid of Derek.”
Kate commented, “Bain Madox seems to think of everything.”
“Not everything, and not anymore.”
We gave it fifteen minutes to be sure that the right people were in charge upstairs, then made our way to the spiral staircase, found the hydraulic switch to raise the card table, and ascended into the card room, where the air was fresh.
We had our creds out, and we were passed from one state trooper to another, until we found ourselves in the great room, where Major Schaeffer had set up his command post with a radio and a few troopers. Kaiser Wilhelm was sleeping and farting near the hearth.
Schaeffer asked us, “What in the name of God is going on here?”
I replied, “The murder of Harry Muller is solved. Bain Madox and Carl the butler did it.”
“Yeah? Where’s Madox?”
“In the fallout shelter.”
“We searched the whole basement.”
I explained how to find the fallout shelter and added, “You got three dead down there, and one seriously wounded.”
“Who’s dead?”
“Madox, Carl, and some other guy.”
“Madox is dead? How did he die?”
I answered, evasively, “Get your CSI team there and let them get to work. Also, the wounded guy needs help fast.”
Schaeffer picked up his radiophone and gave instructions regarding the fallout shelter.
I also advised Schaeffer, “You should disarm and restrain the security guards.”
“They’re disarmed and confined to their barracks under guard.”
“Good.”
“What do we have on them?”
“Accessories or witnesses to Harry’s murder. Tell them the boss is dead, and see if they’ll start talking.”
He nodded, then said to us, “Those three diesel engines and generators were running at full capacity and we shut them down. Do you know anything about that?”
I replied, “Well, as it turned out, Fred was right. Submarines.”
“What…?”
Kate said, “Sorry, Major, this comes under the category of national security.”
“Yeah?”
I changed the subject back to homicide and informed Schaeffer, “Don’t bother looking for Putyov here.”
“Why not?”
“Well, according to the late Mr. Madox, he murdered his houseguest Dr. Putyov, then put the body through the wood chipper.”
“What?”
“If it matters, Putyov got what he deserved. But I can’t get into that.” I suggested, “You may want the CSI guys to pay special attention to the wood chipper. If they don’t find anything there, you might think about collecting some bear shit and see if you can find a little of Dr. Putyov’s DNA there.”
Schaeffer said, “I’m not quite following-”
“Hey,” I asked, “what happened to the guy in the gatehouse?”
“He’s dead.”
“Derek. Right?”
“That’s what his name tag said.” He informed us, “The EMS guys thought it looked like poisoning. Maybe a neurotoxin. The guy was twitching like an epileptic before he died.”
I said to Kate, “Jeez, I hope it wasn’t the pigs-in-the-blanket.”
Schaeffer replied, “We didn’t find any pigs-in-the-blanket, but there was a fresh pot of coffee in the guardhouse, and this guy had a spilled coffee mug on his desk. So, we’re thinking the coffee. We’ll test it and do the toxicology.”
Kate said to me, “Madox does plan ahead.”
“Not anymore.”
Kate asked Schaeffer, “Are the FBI here?”
“Oh, yeah. They set up their own command post.” He jerked his head upward and said, “In Madox’s office. Your buddy Griffith is there, and he’s still looking for you.”
Kate suggested, “Let’s go say hello.”
“Okay.” I said to Schaeffer, “See you later.”
He looked at us and said, “You smell like smoke, and you look like hell. What happened?”
I replied, “It’s like a really long and very weird story. Let me get back to you on that.”
He reminded us, “You must remain on the scene to assist with the investigation.”
“See you later.”
I took Kate’s arm, and we left the great room.
There were about a dozen uniformed state troopers going through the house, obviously without knowing what they were supposed to be doing. I flashed my creds and asked one of them, “Where’s the kitchen?”
“Kitchen? Oh… you just go down this hallway.”
“Thanks.” I headed for the kitchen, and Kate said to me, “We need to see Liam Griffith.”
“Schaeffer said he was in the kitchen.”
“In Madox’s office.”
I tapped my ear. “Come again?”
We found the kitchen, which was unoccupied. I noticed that there was no sign of dinner preparations, and I pointed this out to Kate, who replied, “I think dinner was a ruse, John.”
“Yeah? No steak and potatoes?”
“Why are we here?”
“Because I’m hungry.”
“Can I get you a cup of coffee from the gatehouse?”
“Sure, and get one for yourself.” I opened the big, industrial-size refrigerator and found some cheese and cold cuts.
“How can you eat?” she asked me. “My stomach is churning.”
“I’m hungry.” I threw the cheese and cold cuts on the counter, then went to the kitchen sink and washed up. I think I had some of Madox on me.
As I was doing this, Mr. Liam Griffith entered the kitchen and asked us, “Where the hell have you two been?”
I looked up from the sink. “Could you hand me that dish towel?”
He hesitated, then handed it to me. “What are you doing here?”
I dried my face and replied, “We’ve been saving the planet from nuclear destruction.”
“Really? Then, what did you do for an encore?”
I handed the towel to Kate, who went to the sink to wash up.
I said to Griffith, “Well, then we killed a buddy of yours.” I unwrapped the cheddar cheese and said, “Ted Nash.”
Mr. Griffith did not reply, but I could see from his face that he wasn’t understanding me. Finally, he said, “Ted Nash is dead.”
“That’s what I said. Doesn’t that sound great?”
He still wasn’t comprehending what I was saying, so I was pretty sure that Liam Griffith, prick though he was, had no clue about any of this.