He didn't argue or try to stop her, and that gave her an added boost of fortitude to continue.
"Last night, with you, was the first time a guy has ever given me an orgasm of any kind," she admitted, finding it much easier to open up to Ben the more she talked to him, and the more he listened. "And it was much better than any orgasm I've given myself."
"That's the way it should be," he replied gruffly.
"Yeah, well, tell that to my two exes," she said wryly, and finished off the first half of her sandwich.
He lifted a brow, silently prompting her to tell him more. Last night she'd given him some insight into her relationship with Jason, but now she was about to reveal a part of her past that not even Madison knew about.
"Besides Jason, I only had one other boyfriend that I slept with. I think I told you that I attended an all-girls' boarding school, and there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity to date or interact with guys. So, by the time I was in college, having a guy interested in me was new and exciting, and especially the hot quarterback on the football team."
She felt her face grow hot, because even now she could remember how infatuated she'd been with Brian, and how all his flirting and attention had made her feel special-only to realize much too late that it was all a ploy to get into her pants. Just like every other girl he'd dated before her.
Pushing her embarrassment aside, she forged ahead with her story. "The first time he took me out, we went to dinner and a movie, and afterward he walked me to my dorm and gave me my first French kiss. The second time we picked up fast food, ate it in the car, then he parked in a place that was dark and secluded and we made out. One thing led to another, and before long we were in the backseat of his Honda Accord doing the deed and it was over before I could get used to having a guy inside of me for the first time. He never called me again after that last night, so ultimately I'd given my virginity to a guy who didn't care about anything but getting laid."
"Jesus." Ben shook his head, his expression irate on her behalf as he pushed his empty bowl aside. "The guy was a prick, Christine."
She gave him a half-smile. "I can't argue with that, but at the time I couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong. That whole first experience, combined with Jason's preference for trampy escorts over the woman he was engaged to marry, left me feeling sexually inadequate." She drew a deep breath, and finished before she lost her nerve. "In fact, after Jason I couldn't help but wonder if I was frigid like my mother."
He stared at her incredulously. "What?"
She cringed, realizing she'd unintentionally opened a can of worms. "That's a whole other story that we don't have time for right now," she said, dismissing her comment with a wave of her hand. "Suffice it to say, I had plenty of reason to believe that I just didn't have what it took to be sexy and seductive and arouse a man's interest sexually. Not to mention have an orgasm when I was with him."
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, which was covered in a screen print T-shirt. "I think we dispelled that notion last night."
"Twice," she corrected him, and shivered when she thought about how hot and erotic their tryst had been, and how she'd love a repeat performance. "And it was great. Better than great. Even though I know it would have been even better if you'd been inside of me, the pretending was pretty damned exciting. Enough so to make me come that second time."
He groaned and scrubbed a hand along his jaw. "I really don't think we should be having this conversation."
She knew he'd eventually start resisting, especially when the subject became more intimate and personal between the two of them, and she was prepared to see this through.
"Why not? I'm just being honest, and I think last night proved that we'd be great together." Despite her outward bravado, inside her nerves were jumping. Never had she been so open and frank with a man before, but she had to admit it was a wonderful, liberating feeling. "With you, I feel desire and passion and lust. And that's more than I've ever had with either Brian or Jason. And I'd like to think that I aroused you a little bit, too."
"Yeah, a little bit," he replied, a sarcastic edge to his voice. "That's why I'm sitting across from you with a goddamn hard-on straining the front of my jeans. Because just thinking of how responsive you are when I kiss you or touch you makes me want to pull you across this table and have my way with you right here and now."
A potent thrill shot through her, searing a path straight down to her stomach. "If we weren't on a time constraint, I'd let you," she said, her voice taking on a low, husky quality.
He cursed heatedly and abruptly stood up. "You just don't get it, do you, Christine?"
Calmly, she stared up at him. "No, I guess I don't."
"Then let me explain things in a way that you'll better understand. Yeah, I'm attracted to you. I can't deny that." Placing his palms flat on the table, he leaned toward her, his eyes blazing with intimidation. "And yeah, I'd like to fuck you every way imaginable that would make your traditional missionary position look tame in comparison. But your father hired me to protect you, not to have sex with you."
He was trying to make her back off, but she was so done being the kind of good girl who in the past would have dropped the subject and retreated. Hell, a year ago she never would have been bold enough to discuss sex and orgasms with a guy. But most important, she was done doing what everyone else wanted or expected her to do.
"My father has nothing to do with my attraction to you," she said easily. "I'm a big girl and if I want to indulge in an affair, that's none of my father's, or anybody else's business."
He didn't look one bit convinced. "When the guy you want to have the affair with is me, your security agent, it complicates everything. And because of that, I don't ever mix business and pleasure."
"You did last night," she pointed out oh-so-sweetly.
He didn't seem to appreciate the reminder. He straightened from the table, but he didn't say a word or move from where he was standing.
Pushing her own chair back, she picked up her plate and the empty glass of iced tea, and carried both to the sink. Then she turned around to face her bodyguard again.
"Look. Ben. I understand that you have a job to do, and I'm not asking you to compromise my safety in any way. Out in public, you can do what you need to do to ensure I'm protected, but here, in my house, there is no threat and I couldn't be more secure with an alarm system on at all times."
She strolled toward him, and he watched her approach through narrowed eyes. "With that said, why can't we enjoy each other like we did last night?"
Again, no reply, but that didn't dissuade her in the least. He hadn't flat out refused her, and if anything, his silence gave her hope that he was actually considering her proposal.
She came to a stop just a few feet away from him. "I'm not asking for any kind of commitment," she said, just in case that fear was running through his head. "I've had enough of that for a while and I want to enjoy my freedom and independence before getting serious with anyone again."
"So, all you want is sex," he said, his bland tone belying the heat flickering in his gaze. "No strings attached."
"Not just sex. Good sex. Great sex," she clarified, but she already knew that wasn't an issue when it came to Ben and her as a couple. "We have two more weeks together before the election is over, and I'm thinking that's more than enough time to enjoy this mutual attraction and get it out of our systems. And when your job is done, we part ways as friends."