"Sometimes, sestrilla I feel like I'm trying to hold water in my hand. You flow right through my fingers."
Rachael looked at him with her dark, liquid eyes. Sad eyes. "I can't give you what it is you want."
"Before my father died, Rachael, he asked my mother to promise him that she'd take me and leave the village. He wanted her to find another man so she wouldn't have to raise me alone. A man or woman who lost their mate would never choose another husband or wife from our people. My father talked to my mother more than once but she didn't want to live with another man. She stayed near the village."
"Why wouldn't the others want to take care of her and you too? If there aren't very many of you, surely they would want to make certain you were well taken care of?" She sounded outraged all over again. "I don't think I like your elders very much."
"The elders would want to care for widows and children, but there would be problems. Most leave if they want to find a companion to spend their life with. We can live and love outside of the rain forest, and many do. It's possible your father asked your mother to take you and your brother and find another man to fill his shoes."
"How did your father die?"
"He went in with a team to pull a diplomat from a rebel force. He was shot. It happens."
Rachael rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry. It must have been so difficult for your mother to know that you chose to carry on your father's work."
"She didn't like it. My mother didn't do what my father wanted her to do. She stayed in the rain forest on the edge of the village. It caused some problems occasionally. She was a beautiful woman and it was easy enough to fall in love with her. Do you look like your mother?"
She smiled and relaxed in his arms, sinking into him without being aware of it. "I do look somewhat like her pictures. We have the same eyes, and my face is shaped like hers. And I have her smile. She wasn't as tall or as heavy."
Rio stopped right there under a tall tree with silvery bark and hundreds of orchids cascading down the trunk. "Heavy? You have curves, Rachael. I'm very fond of your curves." He bent his head to her throat, his breath whispering fire against her skin… "Don't say anything bad about yourself or I might be forced to prove you wrong."
Rachael laughed happily. He made her feel bright and alive when she had been so close to gloom. "I don't think that's much of a threat, Rio. And thank you for bringing up memories about my mother. All I had was a pale mental picture of her. When you asked me about her, I began to think of all the little details and I can see her again so clearly. She had thick hair. Very curly." She touched her hair. "I always kept my hair long because she wore hers that way. When I wanted to disappear, I cut my hair to my shoulders because I thought having it reach to my rear end was too conspicuous. I cried myself to sleep every night for a week."
"Wear your hair any way you want to wear it, Rachael. They've already found you here." He began walking again, picking up the pace, wanting to get back to the house and get her settled again. She was obviously growing tired and attempting to hide it from him.
"But they don't know I'm still alive. We might be able to make them think I drowned in the river. I threw my shoes in so something would turn up if they were really looking."
"Rachael, the only way we're going to be able to live a normal life is to remove the threat completely. We don't want to be looking over our shoulders the rest of our lives."
Rachael was silent, turning his words over and over in her mind. Rio was thinking along the lines of a permanent relationship, she was still taking it one day at a time. She looked closely at his face. The right thing to do would be to leave him as quickly as possible, remove all threats to him. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm just realizing I have an incredible selfish streak. I always thought I was unselfish, but I don't want to give you up. It isn't the greatest moment in one's life to find out how completely self-centered you really are."
"It might be my greatest moment, to find out you want to keep me."
"Tell me that in a couple of weeks and I might believe you. This is all so unexpected. And as for normal, is how you live here in the rainforest your definition of normal?"
"I've rarely lived any other way." The smile faded from his face. "I doubt if they'll allow us to live in the village. It's not comfortable for some of the people. As I'm supposed to be dead to them, shopping is difficult. They look through me, I can't ask questions, I leave money on the counter."
Her dark eyes flashed. "I know what I'd like to say to them. I don't want to live in the village. Not now. Not ever. And I'll have to think about shopping there. I wouldn't mind making everyone uncomfortable, but on the other hand, I would hate to help them out by supporting them."
Rio made an effort to keep from laughing. Rachael didn't need to be encouraged in her defense of him, but he couldn't help secretly loving it. "You might want the protection of the village when we have children."
"Are we going to have children?"
"Don't look so shocked. I like children-I think." He frowned. "I haven't actually been around any children, but I think I'd like them."
Rachael threw back her head and laughed more, hugging him to her as they drew closer to the house.
Chapter Thirteen
THE bath was heaven. Rachael slipped beneath the water to soak her entire head. She hadn't felt clean in weeks. Days of taking sponge baths didn't work for her, especially when an infection ravaged through her body the way it had. She came up and looked at Rio, trying not to let the happiness in her burst out. He'd been through such an ordeal, fighting the leopard, and he hadn't talked much about it. He looked older, the lines in his face deeper, shadows lurking in his eyes.
He rubbed shampoo into her hair. "You look happy."
"I never thought a bath would feel so good. Whatever Tama used on my leg is a miracle product. I couldn't believe the difference in the swelling and I'm certain it helped heal the puncture wounds. They'd been draining all the time, but now it's stopped. I feel so much better."
"Good." His fingertips rubbed her head in a slow massage. "Fritz is back. He snuck in when I was heating the water. I saw him go under the bed."
"What about Franz?" She wanted to moan with ecstasy. His fingers massaging her head were magical. "I'm worried that we haven't seen him."
"He followed us through the forest. He was in the canopy. He'll come in when he's ready."
"You should have pointed him out to me. I have to be more alert." She smiled up at him through the shampoo. "See, if I were a leopard, I would have noticed."
"I expected him, and we travel together all the time. I know his patterns. Leopards will even cache food in the same place repeatedly, making it easy for poachers to destroy them. We have to fight to keep from setting patterns. We all have that tendency and in a business like ours, it can get a person killed. I try never to use the same path twice. I never use the same escape route twice. I don't come to the house the same way. I have to make certain I always think about it."
Rachael ducked under the water to rinse out her hair. She didn't feel feline right then, she loved water, the hotter the better. She wanted to stay in the bath for as long as possible. She was beginning to realize bathing was a luxury. When she came up, wiping her eyes, she heard the radio crackling.
"I thought that was broken. Didn't I shoot it?"
"Drake left his for me." He picked up the small handheld radio and listened to the warble of distorted voices. "They think they've found the right camp. They're going in soon, probably after midnight."
She read the anxiety in his voice. "You stayed behind because of me, didn't you? Rio, if you need to be with them, go. I'm perfectly fine by myself. I've got weapons here. You know I can use them."