He pulls the tail of the camisole out of the skirt and when it snags for a second, he wonders if it’s the kind that extends and snaps at the crotch. But Ronnie gives him a hand, shifting in her seat and pulling the hem free at her waist.
Let me start by asking you, is this a lifelong problem? Have you ever reached orgasm at any time in the past?
Well, you see, I’m not really sure. I don’t—
Okay, fine, go no further. That’s not a problem. Can you tell me, have you ever attempted self-stimulation? Have you ever tried to reach orgasm manually? [Silence] Come on now. Either with your hand or with a vibrator?
No. No, I haven’t.
Flynn starts to roll the camisole upward, forcing himself to go slowly. When he comes to the bottom fold of her breast he tugs it in toward her body and pulls up even slower so she’ll feel the silk rubbing past her nipples.
I sense that you have some reservations about attempting this?
It’s just … I’m somewhat modest …
We’re talking about the privacy of your own home. Close your shades. Turn on your answering machine.
I know what you’re saying but I …
You’ve got to relax, learn to be more comfortable with your own body. Can I make some suggestions? Will you promise me you’ll give them some thought?
He slides her chair back from the board just a bit and swivels it to the right. He starts to walk around to the side and can’t help looking out the plate-glass window. The mall corridor is empty, but he wonders what will happen if Wayne changes his mind halfway to the Himalaya Express and returns. He’s surprised to find the thought excites him a little.
Go ahead. I’m listening.
I don’t hear a lot of commitment in your voice.
It’s just awkward. You don’t—
Yes, I do, my friend. You have no idea. Listen to me now. It’s awkward at first, possibly, but you’ll be shocked at how quickly your body will respond. Remember, you called here for a reason. The alternative is much more awkward. And more painful. Your subconscious is yearning for this change. You owe this to yourself. Doesn’t it bother you, doesn’t it drive you crazy, that there are feelings that you know exist and you know are tremendously powerful and yet you can’t get to them? You can’t ignite them. You don’t know where to begin.
I don’t—
No, you don’t. And that’s why you called. And that’s what I’m here to give you tonight.
He goes down on his knees, reverent as an altar boy. He leans his torso into her, at first just laying his head sideways against her breasts, feeling the surprising coolness of her skin on his cheek. And then after just a second or two, he turns and brings his mouth to a breast, tongues the nipple a few times, very slowly, achingly slowly, time slowed down to an almost-frozen edging. Then he closes his mouth and starts to suck. He can see her chest rise and he knows how hard she’s trying to stay in control. Then he closes his eyes and lodges in a rhythmic draw.
[Breath audible] Listen, tonight, before you go to sleep, I want you to put on some music. Forget the TV tonight. Put on something soft. Lush. You know what I mean. Something sensuous. You know what will work for you. Whether you think you do or not, trust me. You know. And if you have any wine in the house, I want you to pour yourself a cool glass of wine, maybe a nice merlot, that would be good. [Deep breath] Then I want you to draw a bath, fairly hot. And I want you to add some bath oil to the water. I want you to get some candles if you have any in. And I want you to place them around the tub and light them. Keep the regular lights off, okay? Understand? And leave some talcum out on the vanity if you think of it.
He switches to the other breast without opening his eyes. He kisses the skin between them as he moves. The skirt she’s wearing zips up the side.
Now I want you to start to get undressed. But I want you to do it before the mirror, with the candlelight reflecting behind you. This might be difficult for you, but it’s essential that you go slow and watch yourself. I need you to keep your eyes on yourself, keep your eyes on your body as it appears in the mirror. And tell yourself it’s good, it’s fine, you approve. Say the words aloud if you have to. Whisper them. Convince yourself if you’re a doubter. Assure yourself. Compliment yourself. Let your clothing just drop to the floor. I don’t want you to even think about it right now.
He starts to draw down the zipper and has to slide his hand under her and lift her slightly off the chair. She suddenly surprises him by reaching down and bringing her hand up into his crotch. He almost makes a noise, but stops in time, hunches inward, and stifles himself.
Now I need you to step into the water. Feel its warmth surround your legs. Feel the steaminess, the slickness of the water. Go down into it slowly, feel it lap up against your buttocks, then slide down, let it cover you totally, let it wash over you, come up over your sides and cover your belly and come up around your breasts. Can you picture what I’m saying to you?
Yes. Absolutely.
You and about fifty thousand listeners, Flynn thinks. He swivels the chair so she’s lined up directly in front of him.
Do you know what I want you to do now?
Yes, I do.
He puts his hands on each of her knees. Her legs are already spread apart, but he pushes them outward till they touch the arms of the chair. She places her hand on his arm and he can’t tell if it’s a signal to stop or to keep going.
Okay, let’s say it. I need you to touch yourself. Can you say it?
Touch myself.
Stimulate yourself. Arouse yourself. Love yourself.
Arouse.
That’s right. You know what I’m saying here.
She’s squeezing his arm, applying a tremendous amount of pressure. He suddenly realizes how strong she is. But he has no idea what she wants him to do. And he hesitates, does nothing.
[Deep breath] The big question is, can you do it?
So she takes control and starts to push his hand upward under the skirt. She guides him to the center and she’s already wet and now the hesitation is gone and he knows what to do. He looks up and her shoulders are moving slightly up and down and she bites her bottom lip and releases it. He wants her to finish with the caller, go to an ad, get off the air. But it’s clear that’s not what she wants. He knows she wants to stay on the air to the end.
Yes, I can. I think I can.
You know you can.
Can they hear her? Does every listener know what’s going on here? Is Wayne in his car, weeping, pounding the dash with the fist that holds the food money?
You do what I say now. Tonight.
Her voice is urgent and her words are interrupted slightly by grabs for air. It seems so obvious to Flynn. She’s grabbing the arms of her chair and her knuckles are going white. He rotates his hand for better position.
I want to thank you—
You just do what I say. Promise me—
I do, I promise—
Then good luck, and we move on to our next caller.
Flynn looks up at her shocked, but he doesn’t stop. He wants her to grab an ad cart and jam it in, fill up the studio with the promise of sales from the raspy language of pitchmen. But that’s just not going to happen. She pulls a hand off the chair arm, punches down on a board button, brings her hand back to his head, and grabs a fistful of his hair.
Yes. You’re on Libido Liveline.
She’s overly loud and there’s a catch to her voice at the end of her words as if she’d just emerged from below water.
Yes, Ronnie. Tremendous show tonight. A real classic.
He waits, but there’s silence, so he stops and she yanks on his hair and then speaks.
Yes. Your question.