“ Pssst. Pssst! Oy! Are you deaf?”
No, but very soon now she was going to starve to death. Abandoning her lunch, she stamped over to the nearby garden bed and bent over, pretending to admire the pansies. “ What? Can’t this wait? I am famished beyond your wildest imagination!”
“Never mind about that, ducky,” said Reg, almost hidden amongst the foliage. “Last time I looked you weren’t anywhere near skin-and-bone. Have you heard about the Central Ott portal?”
She felt her rumbling stomach lurch. “Yes.”
“Well, I’ve just come back from there and thought you might like to know there’s nobody been hurt. It’s all under control.”
She looked up, startled. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Reg. But what were you-”
“I went for a little look-see with Gerald. He was all het up about it, convinced you were right and he was responsible for more death and destruction.” She sniffed. “You know, you really want to be a bit more careful, madam. My Gerald takes things very much to heart.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I will. Listen-” She bent again to the pansies, just in case anyone was wondering why she was talking to an ornamental fig tree.
“What?”
“It’s probably nothing, probably I’m just being nosy, but how about you go perch on the sill of Permelia Wycliffe’s office window and see if you can hear what she and Eudora Telford are talking about? Eudora’s claiming Permelia’s sent for her, some desperately urgent and important errand that needs doing. I think I’d like to know what it is.”
“Hmm,” said Reg. “I thought we weren’t investigating our own clients?”
“Well, yes, but-that was before we found out about Gerald and why he’s here. I think it’s our duty to investigate anything that smells fishy. And I’ve already overheard a row between Permelia and Ambrose.” She stood up straight. “And d’you know, it was just after she found out about the latest portal accident.”
“Gerald said that Sir Alec said Ambrose Wycliffe wasn’t involved.”
“Sir Alec could be wrong,” she said. “Men have been known to be wrong from time to time, haven’t they?”
Reg snorted. “Not to hear them talk. All right. I’ll go and have a stickybeak into Permelia Wycliffe’s business.”
“Yes, do that. Only be careful, Reg! They both know who you are, remember?”
Another snort. “Good. Yes. Thanks for that, ducky. Are you finished? Or would you like to teach your grandmother how to suck eggs while you’re at it?”
Shaking her head, Melissande watched the wretched bird flap away. Then she returned to her lunch. Finally, finally, something to eat.
“Miss Carstairs! Miss Carstairs! What do you think you’re doing, Miss Carstairs? Lunchtime is over for gels, Miss Carstairs!”
Incredulous, she turned. And there was Miss Petterly standing at the employee garden’s entrance, a skinny black-clad scarecrow with her fists on her hips and a face like peevish thunder.
Her gurgling stomach rumbled a fresh protest.
If I throw my lunch at her she’ll make sure I’m fired… and that’ll be it for Witches Inc. Curtains. Coda. Dead in the water before we’ve barely begun swimming.
She let her chin drop to her chest. Swallowed her pride, which wasn’t anywhere near as satisfying as a ham and cheese sandwich.
“Yes, Miss Petterly,” she said, trudging towards the horrible woman. “I’m coming, Miss Petterly.”
And somehow, sometime, I’ll pay you back for this.
After returning to the R amp;D block, Gerald was hustled back into the scullery by a sneering Errol and only set foot out of it again to collect more trolley-loads of equipment to clean. It seemed he no longer even rated the likes of Japhet Morgan to give him a hand.
On his third trundle round the laboratory complex, feeling like a tea lady with his trolley and pink gloves, he caught sight of an arrival he wasn’t expecting: James Kirkby-Hackett. He stared, immediately curious. What was one of Errol’s revolting First Grade chums doing here? In person? Looking… perturbed.
Of course the worry in Kirkby-Hackett’s face was wiped away by incredulous delight upon seeing who it was trundling the dirty equipment trolley round the lab.
It doesn’t matter, Dunwoody. It really doesn’t matter. Who cares what Kirkby-Hackett thinks? You know what you are. You know what you’re doing here. Other people’s opinions mean nothing at all.
And still… and still… his belly burned with dull pain.
Philpott, Methven’s off-sider, went to fetch Errol, who came out of the Mark VI lab a moment later. Was it a trick of the light or did he-just for a heartbeat-seem monumentally displeased to see his friend?
Gerald hastily got busy restacking his trolley, just in case it became obvious he was sneakily eavesdropping.
“James! What a surprise,” said Errol, all cordial good-nature. “Fancy seeing you here. You should have called ahead, I’d have arranged a tour for you.” He laughed, the faintest of edges under his voice. “Well, of anything that’s not classified top secret of course.”
Kirkby-Hackett hesitated then shook Errol’s outstretched hand. “No. No. That’s quite all right, Errol. No need to go to any trouble for me. Fact is, just passing, thought I’d swing by and give you a nod.”
“A nod,” said Errol, his eyes narrowing. “Right. I see. Well, let’s go into my office, we can-”
“Office?” said Kirkby-Hackett. He was definitely jumpy. Ill at ease. Concerned. “Right. Yes. Only I thought we might have a quick word in the fresh air, Errol. You cooped up in here. Me cooped up at Masterly’s. Yes. Fresh air. Just the thing.”
“All right,” said Errol, after a moment. He didn’t sound at all pleased. “We’ll stroll around the staff garden a time or two.” He turned. “Dunwoody! What the hell are you doing? Can’t you even put beakers in a trolley without creating a catastrophe? Get on with it, man. I swear, if so much as one stage of one project is held up because we’ve run out of clean equipment-”
Hastily, Gerald backed up his trolley. “Sorry, Mister Haythwaite. Getting right on that, Mister Haythwaite.”
Kirkby-Hackett said something, his voice too low to carry. Errol laughed and Kirkby-Hackett laughed with him, despite his obvious worry.
“Oh, yes,” said Errol, clapping a hand to Kirkby-Hackett’s expensively suited shoulder. “That’s right. Found his true level at last, has our old chum Dunnywood.”
Gerald watched them saunter out of the building, furious that he couldn’t follow them. Desperate to know what had brought Kirkby-Hackett here, so patently uneasy.
Oh Reg, Reg, don’t fail me now. Be in the garden…
“ You’d better do as Mister Haythwaite says, Mister Dunwoody,” said Robert Methven, in passing. “There’s plenty of desperate Third Grade wizards in the world. Do you want to keep this job or don’t you?”
“Yes, Mister Methven,” he said, suitably chastened. “Right away, Mister Methven.”
He was just finishing up the latest load of stained lab equipment when Reg appeared without warning at the closed scullery window. He nearly dropped another beaker, which would have been a disaster. He’d already been lambasted by Errol for the one he’d smashed after hearing about the latest portal incident.
Reg banged her beak on the glass. “Don’t just stand there gawping, sunshine!” she shouted, her voice muffled. “Open it up! I’ve got something to tell you!”
Bloody hell. He looked over his shoulder through the open scullery door but nobody had heard her. Praise Saint Snodgrass for small mercies. Grabbing a trolley, he eased the door closed and barricaded it then rushed to open the window before Reg broke it.
“What? What? Reg, are you crazy? Are you trying to get me fired?”
“Put a sock in it and listen, Gerald,” she retorted. “Because I’ve just been doing your dirty work again. Do you know-”
Irritation disappeared in a flood of hope. “You overhead them? Errol and Kirkby-Hackett? Oh, Reg. That’s terrific. What did they-”