I snatched Cole’s keyboard and pitched it across the room. It crashed against the opposite wall, falling in a broken heap of plastic. Exhaustion turned my legs to jelly, and my knees hit the floor. Hot tears slid down my face. Annoyed, I swiped them away, but they just kept coming.
I wept for my mama, and the goodbye we never said. I cried for my sister, because of the pain Icky would leave her with. I ached for my baby brother, sweet Cole, who never had a chance in this fucked up world. I even mourned for the father I never understood.
When I finally climbed the basement stairs hours later, weary and drained, I’d made peace with myself and my parents’ ghosts…for the most part anyway. I also did something I should’ve done my first night home—changed the damn fuse for the ceiling lamp in the living room.
And then there was light, in more ways than one.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Waking Nightmares
TRACE
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Two days later, I hung up the phone and slipped back under the covers. Cholly’s call had pulled me from a dream, one that didn't star Daddy, Nyle, or Lilith. This one had Shannon in it, naked and wet for me, but unlike all my other dreams of her, I remembered every erotic detail. Now I had actual experience to draw from. Facts like the sweet way she tasted, the sounds she made, and how a minute of sucking had turned her pink nipples blood red. The memory alone made my cock hard as marble.
Apart from worrying that I’d scared her off again, I had thought of nothing else but nailing her. I wanted her in my bed, on the floor, up against the wall, outside, inside…any and everywhere.
Scowling, I tossed the covers back, spat into my hand, and grasped my cock to ease the ache. My jaw worked while I moved my palm up and down with a slow twist, each gentle tug driving me to Hades and halfway back.
I grabbed Shannon’s hanky from the nightstand, put it to my nose, and closed my eyes. Pictured myself sucking her pink nipples to red peaks. Imagined pushing her legs apart and settling between them.
Shit. I could almost feel her virgin flesh give way as I eased inside her tight little—oh yeah, that was it. I was there, taking what was mine, claiming her as my own, pumping my hips, feeling her nails score my back and her legs wrap around me. I was driving into her hard, fast, and frenzied, filling her sweet body with….
My cock erupted, spurting thick ropes of semen across my chest. Five more strokes and I’d milked myself dry. I wilted into the mattress, spent, but not the least bit sated. I’d need Shannon for that.
After a minute or so, I snatched a T-shirt off the floor and cleaned myself, then collapsed on the bed again. Damn it to hell. This palm-pilot shit wasn’t cutting it.
Montgomery’s cock-blocking face rose in my mind’s eye. Perfect fucking timing. It was like waving a red flag at a bull. Just the thought of the bastard’s paws on Shannon made me want to break something.
Twelve years in stir had forced me to suppress my emotions. Not all emotions. Hate and anger came easily enough, but tender feelings, like the ones I had for Shannon…well, I wasn’t sure how to handle those.
I threw my legs over the side of the bed, stalked down the hallway to the bathroom and flipped the shower dial. Something had to give. Something had to change. This was enough to drive a man mad.
The water had run cold by the time I finally ripped the shower curtain open. I fastened a towel around my waist and padded back into the bedroom just as the phone rang.
“Dawson,” I said.
“Hi.”
My pulse tripped as I fumbled with the receiver. “Shannon?”
“Did I wake you?” Her voice was whisper soft.
“Naw. I was up.”
Seconds ticked by. “I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk to me, because…well, it’s been two days. I figured you needed some space, but….” She sighed. “Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh.” Hell, I figured she needed space. So I’d given it to her. I stared down at the puddle around my feet as static filled the awkward hush. “Um, Cholly called,” I offered. “They approved his liquor license—and he got an electrician to finish the wiring. He told me to tell you thanks.”
“He did?” Silence, then, “Wow.” There was a smile in her voice, but the light moment soon turned weightier. “Trace?”
“Yeah?”
I heard her swallow. “About the other night….”
“It scared you.”
“No,” she insisted.
I sank to the bed. “I’m listenin’.”
She sighed again, taking a moment, I guess to collect her thoughts. “I just need you to know I understand what happened, and I get why you lied. I really do. What you shared, it stays between us forever.” Static crackled when she paused. “And I don’t care who knows we’re friends. No more hoods.”
My shoulders sagged. Damn if she hadn’t knocked the wind out of me. That I’d killed a man, and she’d accepted it as easily as she’d drawn her last breath, humbled me.
“Are you there?”
I rubbed my bristled jaw. Man, was I there. “Uh-huh.”
“Promise me something.”
Anything. “What?”
“That you won’t lie to me again,” she said.
I propped a pillow against the headboard and eased back. Until now, I’d hidden my soul from all but God, yet I’d told Shannon my darkest secret, and I had the sense that confiding in her was the same as locking a diamond in a vault.
Staring up at the water stains on the ceiling, I caved. “Okay. You got it.”
“Promise to goodness?”
The memory made me smile. “Yeah. Promise to goodness.” I plowed the wet hair off my face. “Hey, I’m sorry too. Bev and Icky got me worked up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I was an asshole.”
She fell silent.
“You hear me?”
“Yes,” she said. “You were an asshole.”
I smiled again. Profanity coming out of her sounded funny as hell. “You still up for seeing Mrs. Campbell on Wednesday?”
“Yes, but….” She quietly cleared her throat. “Why didn’t you say anything about knowing where she was? You called her?”
“Yeah, last week. That’s one of the things I was working on.” My smile faded. “Hadn’t spoken to her since the pool fight with Lilith. She wrote after Mama died, but I didn’t respond.”
“Why not?”
Took me a second to form the proper words. “I was mad. She knew the truth, but she skipped town before Gartner could get a subpoena.”
“How do you feel about her now?”
I rubbed circles over my chest. The damp hair soothed my itching palm. “I’d just like her to tell me why she ran off like that. She knew the truth, but she left me high and dry. Her testimony could’ve helped. Then she has the nerve to send me a letter in stir, like that’s gonna make up for it.”
“Can you do something for me?”
“Yep,” I yawned out, resting a foot on the mattress.
“Before we speak with Mrs. Campbell, I want you to tell me about the pool incident. I have to know what really happened.”
To say I’d rather shove a hot poker up my ass wouldn’t be an exaggeration. Silence dragged. “Okay,” I muttered with a sigh. “What do you wanna know?”
“Everything.”
TRACE
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The night before Lilith Bradford’s murder….