“Decide to sleep in this morning?” Carmela said.
Dairine glanced at her watch. It was 9:30. “I don’t know if I would describe this as ‘sleeping in,’” she said. “Or maybe it would’ve been, if some people hadn’t been shrieking my name at the top of their lungs.”
“Oh, come on,” Carmela said. “How can you sleep when you’ve got all these wonderful people in your house?” She leaned across the table toward Sker’ret and grabbed one of his clawed forelegs, wiggling it back and forth. Sker’ret chuckled, a
raspy, ratchety little sound. “I mean, look at this guy!”
Dairine stared at Carmela. “I thought you hated bugs!”
“Bug bugs, yeah,” Carmela said. “But Sker’ret’s not a bug! I mean, look at the size of him! Nobody’s going to have to worry about him going down their back or getting in their shoes!”
One of Sker’ret’s eyes came around to waver almost in front of Carmela’s nose. She grabbed the stalk just behind the eye and wiggled it, too, playfully. “And look at all these eyes he’s got! He’s just terrific!”
“Thank you!” Sker’ret said. “You’re an amiable being, and I like you, too.”
As she rummaged in the kitchen cupboard for tea, Dairine had to smile: The attitude was so like him generally. It’s a shame he can’t stay around a while after this is over, she thought.
“ ‘Amiable,’” Carmela said. “See that? He’s cultured. What a nice vocabulary you have!” she said to Sker’ret.
“You’re really going to spoil these guys,” Dairine said, filling the kettle and putting it on to boil. “Sker’ret, don’t use hard words on her. She’s still in the kindergarten level in the Speech.”
“I don’t think she’s doing so badly,” Sker’ret said. “It’s not like we’re going to start talking technical things out of the blue.”
The sound of rustling in the doorway brought Carmela’s head around. “And what have we here?” she said. “Why, you’re just a little shrub! Aren’t you cute!” She stood up and went over for a closer look at him.
“You’re not bad-looking for a biped yourself,” Filif said.
Dairine gave him a look from the kitchen. “You flirt!” she said.
“It’s true,” Filif said. It was impossible to say how one perceived that a tree was winking at you, but Dairine perceived it. Maybe it’s the berries, she thought.
What made Dairine have to control herself very carefully for the next couple of minutes was Carmela’s response…because she perceived the winking, too. “You tease,” she said, and ran an affectionate hand through Filif’s needles. “Dairine, is it possible to become an item with a tree?”
“Uh,” Dairine said. Many, many possible responses went through her head. “There might be a splinter problem,” she said at last.
Carmela burst out laughing. “We’ll see. I’m just trying to resist the urge to take this kid home and decorate him. You and I,” she said to Filif, “we’re going to spend lots of time talking, because I want to know all about you.”
“That would be good,” Filif said. “I want to know about you, too.”
“I thought you said that people here didn’t know about wizards,” Sker’ret said to Dairine.
The teakettle boiled and started whistling: Dairine got it off the stove and poured boiling water on the tea bag in her mug. “Mostly they don’t,” she said. “Carmela’s an exception to the rule. Most rules,” she added, smirking slightly.
“I heard that, and I’m taking it as a compliment!” Carmela said.
Dairine heard footsteps on the basement stairs, and winced. The sound was too light to be her father’s tread, and he was probably at the shop already, anyway. Let’s give Roshaun another chance, she thought. Maybe I just got off on the wrong foot with him yesterday.
Roshaun came into the kitchen, and at first sight of him, all of Dairine’s good intentions evaporated. He was even more splendidly dressed than he had been the day before. Today the long overjacket that he favored was in blue, and it was richly, even thickly, embroidered with jewels, in all shades of blue and green, some of them the size of marbles or quail’s eggs. Gauntlets, tunic, boots, all were in metallic blues and greens, and the fillet binding his brows was of some blue metal. The fillet was the only part of the costume that really interested Dairine. But no way am I going to show it!
“Good morning,” Dairine said to Roshaun.
Roshaun merely nodded at her and swept through the kitchen into the sunny dining room. It’s hopeless, Dairine thought. I think all my feet with this guy are going to be the wrong feet. I wonder if the Powers would let me send him back and get another wizard?
Roshaun paused in the doorway, gazing in at his fellow wizards, and at Carmela. It was a second or so before Carmela turned, most casually, and looked Roshaun up and down.
“A little early for such a big fashion statement,” she said, “but maybe some of us need to start early. And you would be?”
Roshaun straightened up even straighter and taller than he had been standing, if that was possible, and gazed at Carmela.
“That’s Roshaun,” Dairine said, doing her best to keep any kind of smile from showing.
“… ke Nelaid am Seriv am Teliuyve am Meseph am Veliz am Teriaunst am det Wellakhit,” Roshaun began, and this time went on reciting names for at least twice as long as he originally had with Dairine.
Carmela stood there watching Roshaun go through this performance with the vaguely impatient expression of someone who’s arrived at the movies on time and then has to sit through ten minutes of commercials and previews. Finally, Roshaun trailed off and stood gazing imperiously at Carmela, waiting for her response.
“He means he’s a prince,” Dairine said, not entirely kindly. I’m sorry, Powers That Be. I haven’t had my breakfast yet; it’s that pesky blood sugar again…
Carmela regarded Roshaun in the most leisurely manner possible.
“No methane,” she said at last. “Two legs.” She gave these a last noncommittal glance, which suggested that perhaps he’d put them on backward that morning, but she wasn’t going to embarrass him by mentioning it. “Well, one out of four’s not bad,” Carmela said at last. “Let’s go for two. You wouldn’t have a battle fleet on you, would you?”
Peering out through the kitchen doorway while pretending to do something concerning toast, Dairine saw that even Roshaun was having trouble looking haughty and completely confused at the same time. “We have not yet been formally introduced, in that I…” Roshaun finally said, trying hard to sound chilly about it.
Dairine opened her mouth, but had no chance to say anything, for Carmela was once again looking Roshaun up and down, this time with the expression of someone who’s been asked a personal question by someone who should have been asking her “Paper or plastic?” “Formally introduced? I’ll let you know if and when I think we need to be,” Carmela said. She turned her back on Roshaun with a grim
look and the merest twitch of a wink at Dairine. “Meanwhile,” she said to Dairine, “I need to use the bathroom. But make a note for me: When you next hear from my brother, tell him he and I are going to have a talk, because I see that he was pulling my leg, and I’m already planning numerous ways to make him pay.” She leaned over and whispered in Dairine’s ear—the “whisper” being something that could have been heard at twenty paces— “And whatever you do, get me a date with that bush!”
Carmela then walked away toward the back of the house with a demeanor of complete unconcern, leaving Filif and Sker’ret sitting there exuding the pleasure of having met a wonderful being, while Dairine and Roshaun stared after her, both briefly mute with astonishment.