“If you were smart, it would.”
I rest my hands on the arms of the chair. “Let’s just say I’m not smart. What are you going to do? Hit me? Tackle me here in the computer room? Teach me a lesson?”
She frowns at me like I’m crazy. “No.”
“Then what?” I shrug. “What’s your problem? Why are you acting nice to me one second and kicking Thibault under the table the next?”
There. It’s out there in the air between us. I pray this isn’t a mistake bringing it up.
“What are you talking about?”
“You kicked Thibault in the leg under the table when he suggested I stay overnight with Ozzie.”
“I did not.”
“Yes, you did. I saw it.”
“My foot just slipped. It was an accident.”
“Please. Just move on from that BS, and tell me why you did it. Are you in love with Ozzie or something? Are you jealous?”
Her jaw drops open.
“No one would blame you, you know. He’s handsome, strong, single, the boss of his own successful business. He’s a great catch.”
“He’s not my type.” Toni turns her head away and picks up the headphones.
“I don’t believe you.”
She shrugs, putting the headphones on her cheeks. “Believe whatever you want. It doesn’t matter either way to me.” She pushes the ear pads over her ears and presses a button on her computer.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to call her the b-word, but I refrain. Instead, I pick up the pen on the desk and slide the legal pad over to the left side of the desk, so I can take notes.
Toni doesn’t want to discuss her crush on Ozzie, and neither do I. She’s just going to have to accept the fact that he’s mine. Mine, all mine, all mine. I feel like a greedy Daffy Duck, hoarding a huge pile of gold and freaking out thinking someone’s about to steal it. Man, I’ve got it bad for that man.
I sigh and press the “Start” button on the video, watching as the trees around the house begin to move with the wind. Nothing and nobody is doing anything in this movie except the greenery.
After the first ten minutes of seeing absolutely nothing, I realize what a crap job this data-mining thing is. No wonder everyone seemed happy when we volunteered. I throw my pen down on the table and lean back in the chair, rocking it back and forth, back and forth, back and forth . . .
“Would you quit doing that?” Toni says, pulling her headphones off.
“Doing what?” I keep rocking.
“Moving around.” She grabs the arm of my chair and tries to stop me.
I shove her off with my elbow and rock harder. “I can rock if I want to. It’s a free country.” She doesn’t want to talk to me about anything real, but she’s going to bitch and whine when I try to stay comfortable in this hard chair? No. I don’t think so. I reject that nonsense.
I stare at the computer screen, pretending like it needs all of my concentration. Adrenaline pumps into my bloodstream. I have a very strong suspicion that Toni’s going to jump me any second now. If I had my Taser on me, the safety would be off. As it is, I’m thinking about our little area here and anything that might function as a self-defensive-type weapon. Dev would be proud, even though the only thing that comes to mind is her headphones. What am I going to do with those? Bap her about the head and shoulders with the ear pads?
“Do you even hear yourself?” she asks. “It’s a free country? Seriously, what are you? Ten years old?”
“Old enough to recognize jealousy when I see it.” I roll my eyes, purposely taunting her. Maybe if she gets mad enough she’ll admit what her problem is.
“Jealous? Me? You think I’m jealous of you?”
“Of course you are. Why else would you be acting like a bitch toward me all the time?”
I have no time to prepare. One second she’s sitting in the chair next to me, and the next, she’s leaping on top of me.
I’m in headlock a half second later, and my chair has flown out from under me. I’m halfway crouching under her and most of the way to my knees on the floor.
“How dare you call me a bitch!” she yells.
My hands are reaching out for something . . . anything to make her stop.
“You’re hurting me!” I yell, grabbing her leg.
She squeezes me harder. “Let go of my leg, Bo Fucking Peep!”
“Stop calling me Bo Peep!”
“Make me!”
“Now who’s ten years old!”
“Shut up!”
My fingers scrabble for the headphone cord and I grab onto it, yanking for all I’m worth. I hit her in the shin just as I’m getting my legs under me.
She won’t let me go, though. I reach up as high as I can with my free hand and find some of her hair. I latch onto it and yank hard.
“Owwwww!” she screeches. “Let go of my hair!”
“Let go of my neck,” I grunt out. My vision is dimming.
“You first.” She’s breathing like an angry bull.
Screw that. She started this thing, so I’m going to end it. Closing the cord in my fist, I punch her in the thigh.
Her leg collapses as she screams in pain.
Yeah, let me introduce you to a charley horse, bitch. I have an older sister, and I know how to stop a headlock like nobody’s business.
Her grip on me falls away, and I stand, shoving her as hard as I can. The adrenaline gives me superpowers, which combined with her featherweight status, send her flying. She lands on her back over the side of her chair. It tips over and dumps her on the floor.
I land next to her ribs on my knees, grabbing one of her hands and wrapping the cord around it super fast. She’s like a calf in one of those rodeos. Before she can recover from her charley horse pains, I grab her other hand and tie it up too. The headphones hit my hand as I reach the end of their tether.
“What are you doing?!” she yells, panting after. I think I punched her a little too hard or something. She sounds like she’s in serious pain.
“Tying you up until you can settle down.”
“You’d better run,” she growls, struggling against my lame tying job. I have no way to knot the cord, so it’s only a matter of time before she escapes and tries to kill me.
I search the immediate area for a solution. The only things there are the two chairs.
I grab one and flip it over, dropping it over her, the back of the chair on her right side, the arms on her left. It makes a bridge over her tied hands. Leaning over it, using my weight to keep it there, I hang over her beet-red face.
“Say uncle and I’ll let you up.”
“I’ll say uncle when I have a knife to your throat, not before.” She’s practically spitting, she’s so mad.
I blink a few times, trying to figure out if she’s serious. She sure looks like she is.
“You’d use a knife on me?” I’m kind of hurt by the idea. I feel pretty confident that she wouldn’t do that to any of the guys, even if she were this mad at them.
She doesn’t answer. She just glares at me while she continues to struggle. She’s probably pretty close to getting the cord off, but with me on top of this chair, she’s not going to get very far.
“Let me out,” she says, her voice calmer. It’s kind of a deadly calm, though, so I don’t trust it at all.
“Can’t. I don’t want to die today.” I grin at her. This whole thing is too ridiculous. We’re two grown women and we’re fighting like children. At work! I pray none of the guys comes back here and catches us.
“Then you shouldn’t have attacked me.”
I frown. “Hey, that’s not fair. You moved first. I just defended myself.”
“You asked for it.”
I shake my head. “Huh-uh. I asked you to explain why you were acting jealous about me being here with Ozzie. It was a fair question.”