Heidi came out of the revolving door and walked towards her, head down. Sinead put on a half-smile and stepped out from the doorway. Heidi registered her presence and slowed down. Seeing Heidi’s expressionless face gave Sinead a knot in her stomach.
‘Hey. I’m working over here, so thought I’d swing by and say hi.’ It was a white lie. Sinead had been working in Streatham, but had told management she had a dental appointment so she could leave early and get over to London Bridge in time.
‘Yeah… hi.’ Heidi halted, fiddling with the bag strap on her shoulder.
Sinead hugged Heidi and held her friend close; Heidi was stiff as a board. Sinead let go. People were brushing past them on the pavement.
Sinead said, ‘I wasn’t sure if you got my last couple of messages.’
‘Yeah. Work’s just been mental. And I’ve been seeing Tim most nights. So…’ Heidi had always been a terrible liar, but today she was doing a worse job than usual.
‘What’s going on? I know you’re avoiding me.’
‘I’m not avoiding you. Like I said, I’ve been busy.’
‘Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.’
A middle-aged woman passed by and acknowledged Heidi who grinned and said, ‘Bye, Lisa.’ The woman circled back to them. Sinead hunched her shoulders and looked up at the dark grey sky.
‘Heidi, I meant to have a quick chat with you about Wednesday’s meeting.’
‘Sure, no problem. Absolutely, yeah,’ Heidi said, irritating Sinead with her fake enthusiasm.
‘We need to order teas and coffees for about thirty people. Is that okay?’ The woman saw Sinead glaring at her. ‘Anyway, we’ll talk on Monday. Have a good weekend.’
‘You too. See you on Monday,’ said Heidi. The woman nodded and strode off. Heidi turned back. ‘That was my boss, Sinead.’
‘Oh really? Nice of you to introduce me.’
Heidi’s face went red. Through gritted teeth she said, ‘Let’s go up there. It’s quieter.’ Sinead followed her round a nearby street corner. Heidi stopped by a lamp post. Brow furrowed, she stared into the middle distance, shaking her head.
‘What’s up with you?’ Sinead grew more agitated, waiting for Heidi to speak.
Finally, Heidi blurted it out. ‘I can’t believe you’ve done this. I just can’t believe it. And I’m stuck in the middle…’
‘Done what?’ Sinead tried to stay calm, even though she knew what was coming.
‘I saw you the other night. I saw you at the house.’
Sinead’s mouth was dry. ‘Yeah, I went round to see you. Because you’ve been blanking me and I thought I’d come over and talk–’
‘Except it wasn’t me you came over to see, was it?’
‘Of course it was. Heidi! I miss you.’
‘I never thought you’d sink so low. Standing on the doorstep, buttoning up your shirt – with your tits hanging out!’
Sinead felt queasy. There was no talking her way out, no point in denying the whole thing. Just try and downplay it. A raindrop landed on her shoulder. ‘Nothing happened, okay? There was a misunderstanding.’
Heidi was giving her the evil eye. ‘Joel said you threw yourself at him and he had to ask you to leave.’
‘What? He did not say that! You can’t seriously believe him?’
‘You’ve put me in the worst position. Imogen can’t find out about this – she’s not been eating again as it is. And Joel’s completely embarrassed by the whole–’
‘He’s a fucking liar! He came on to me. I stopped it before anything – how can you take his side?’ Sinead’s voice was cracking. ‘Threw myself at him? That’s fucking outrageous – he was all over me!’ She laced her fingers around the back of her head, arms protecting her like she was getting punched. She looked up at Heidi, appealing for some support.
Heidi took a breath. ‘Listen, you know I’ve always stuck up for you. I mean, you’re not exactly the easiest person to live with. But this time you’ve gone too far. Joel’s madly in love with Imogen. He’s not interested in you, Sinead. You’re imagining things.’
‘Oh my God, Heidi…’
‘I’m just not sure what to say to you sometimes.’ Heidi hesitated, searching for the right words. ‘I don’t think you’ve dealt with your grief. You keep blaming yourself for what happened to your mum and… I think you really need to talk to somebody. A psychiatrist, maybe.’
‘Talk to some stranger?’ Sinead heard her voice getting higher and paused, trying but failing to compose herself. ‘I need to talk to my friend. Guess I came to the wrong fucking place.’
***
Blind rage consumed her as she cycled through congested rush hour streets at full clip, jumping red lights, cutting off corners, whizzing in and out of queuing traffic lines. Irate drivers blasted their horns when she cut them up. Sinead was oblivious; all she heard was the blood pumping in her head.
A mile and a half from home, she shot round a corner into another suburban street and sped past a closed primary school. The school’s parking restrictions allowed for a long stretch of open road. On her near side, a recessed park ran parallel, separated from the road by a grassy verge. Gripping the handlebars, rising from her seat, Sinead accelerated.
Wind and rain lashed her face. Rubbing a hand across her eyes, she never saw a black Audi with tinted windows shoot out into the junction. The first she knew was the impact of her front wheel on the car’s bumper and she went flying through the air, bouncing off the bonnet. She catapulted over the pavement, crashed onto the grassy verge and went tumbling down a slippery slope in a blur of motion – rolling three times down the incline, limbs flailing, before landing in a heap amongst the bracken. Crack! Her left leg twisted violently. She screamed as pain erupted in her limbs.
Sinead stared up at the grey sky for a moment, rain spitting down onto her face. She heard a loud engine revving and a squeal of tyres as the car sped off. Lifting her head slowly, she looked down to see the damage. The leg was bent and sticking out at an unnatural angle. She tried to get a better look, but her eyelids were drooping. Her neck muscles relaxed and her head lolled back onto the ground. The pain was immense. Shocked and motionless, she blinked as her vision began blurring. Somewhere in the distance a dog was barking; the last thing Sinead heard as she blacked out.
***
The nurse measured the stockinette from Sinead’s knee to her toes and then cut double the length with her scissors.
‘Sinead, is it? You’ve got yourself a fine old Irish name, haven’t you?’ said the middle-aged nurse with a soft Dublin accent. Sinead was lying on the bed with her left leg supported under the knee by two rolled-up towels.
‘Mum was from County Clare.’
‘I have cousins in County Clare. A beautiful part of the country, isn’t it?’
‘I’ve never been. She talked about going back one day, but it didn’t happen.’
‘That’s a shame. You’re missing out on the Cliffs of Moher. My goodness, the view across the sea is wonderful from up there.’ She rolled up the stockinette and applied it over Sinead’s left foot. ‘Okay then. Just keep your leg in that position for me.’