Funny, I remember thinking of something my grandpa used to say when I was a kid.
“It ain’t the fall that hurts, Sam…it’s the sudden stop at the end.”
All the wind left me in a rush and Creeper-boy is on top of me now, still clutching my left arm. With the air knocked out of me, I was as weak as a kitten.
So, I could only watch as Creeper-boy pulled my arm to his mouth. I couldn’t even scream when his teeth tore into my flesh, or when his head jerked back and I watched him chew while my blood dribbled down his chin.
When he took his second bite, I could scream. Instantly I understood the pain in all those screams I’d heard before of those who were being eaten alive.
Then Roy was there, grabbing Creeper-boy by the shoulders, tossing him to the side and crushing his skull with three swings of an aluminum baseball bat.
Seconds later, everyone is there, and I look up and see it in their eyes. I’m already dead. Jimmy is wrapping a strip of cloth above the elbow and pulling it tight to stop the bleeding.
That was when I passed out.
I woke up in this dark room. Meredith was beside me. I notice she has a .44 magnum sitting in her lap.
It seems the group decided to return to Thompson Falls. The town sorta runs east-west and I guess we are in some farm house that was just north. It sits on a ridge and looks down on this long open field that slopes gently away to the town proper.
So, here I lie with a pen and paper in hand. I will continue to document this as long as I can. When I woke, Meredith kissed me on the cheek and left the room after sitting in silence for a bit. Neither of us know what to say. I am a bit surprised they didn’t just put me down when I passed out. It’s not like we all don’t know that eventuality of what will happen. Maybe they are hoping I’m like Kevin Davis and hold some kind of immunity.
I guess we’ll see.
Wednesday, June 18
I feel awful.
It is like every hangover I’ve ever had, but all at the same time. My arm feels like it has been dipped in napalm. What makes it even worse is that I can smell myself. I’m pretty sure that we can rule out immunity.
Judging by the looks in everybody’s eyes, I think they know that, too. I heard them arguing quietly and I’m pretty sure they want to just put me down and move on.
Every time I feel myself doze off, I imagine it to be the last time I will be amongst the living. Yet each time, I awake.
I should just ask for a gun and be done with this. Only…when you know you are on the last leg—at least for me—you want each minute.
Meredith sits with me now. We can’t seem to say anything. She knows. I know. That’s really all that there is.
I don’t want to talk about Joey or any of that stuff because it would only make things worse for the two of us and I’d rather just allow these final days…hours…minutes…seconds…simply to pass.
Besides, talking hurts.
Thursday, June 19
CAN NOT KEEP FOOD DOWN. EYES BURN. HEAD POUNDING.
THE SMELL…
Friday, June 20
Early morning
I’ve spent the last few days reading Sam’s journal. Some of it I knew…some not.
Right now he is lying in a corner of the walk-in closet that we’ve kept him in since arriving at this house.
It is clear that he is in the final stages. In fact, I don’t expect him to see tomorrow. Not that he is seeing anything at this point. He hasn’t opened his eyes since early yesterday.
Caren is here with me, just in case. I made it clear that I will be the one to put the bullet in his head when he stops breathing. I guess they worry that I may not be able to do it.
It is funny how people try to impress their own weaknesses on others. Perhaps it helps them cope if they think more people are like them.
Sure, it’s sad. I loved Sam. At least I loved him as much as you can in such situations. There were great memories and all, but he’s not the kind of guy I would’ve been with before all this shit. Don’t get me wrong, he was okay to look at and smart. But…
Evening
Sam is dead.
He sorta gasped for a few final breaths, then, he stopped. Actually it was Caren who noticed and got my attention. I knelt beside him and held his hand as he sighed out his last breath.
I put the pillow over his face, pressed my gun to it, and pulled the trigger. Still a bit loud, but it’s been a couple of hours and none of the locals have wandered up to investigate.
I will miss Sam. I’ve decided that I will keep up his journal. After reading it I have come to the conclusion that this may eventually be the only historical account of what happened to society.
The group wants to wait another day before trying to leg it back to Irony. Maybe tomorrow we can bury Sam before heading out. Or…perhaps we can torch this house like a funeral pyre and he can be the distraction that aides in our escape.
I don’t want to sound cold or callous, but the reality is all about survival now. All the old rules from the past are gone. You have to be ready to make hard choices and let nothing go to waste.
When you think about it…we are pioneers. No, we aren’t discovering anything new. But, we are re-settling civilization. There are no rules, no laws. I’ve experienced it firsthand. Lest you forget…I was held as a commodity. Repeatedly raped by a man who once wore a badge and served as a sheriff…a figure of law.
That happened because I foolishly believed in the tenets of our now deceased society. I mistakenly believed that the rules still applied. I sought protection and care under the umbrella of somebody besides myself. I still held to that premise that a man could give safety. I relied on another person to care for my well-being.
That will get a person killed.
I’m not saying we don’t need one another to survive. I am saying that everything has changed. To have a chance, you need to be capable of caring for yourself first and foremost. In this world, only the strong will survive.
My name is Meredith Gainey and I am strong.
Saturday, June 21
There is no reason to hurry. We slipped into town this morning for some supplies. This place might be an undiscovered gold mine.
Roy and I decided to sneak out while everybody was asleep. We left a note so nobody would freak. Of course there was the awkward, “Are you okay?” crap. But I stopped, turned him to face me so he could get an honest appraisal and told him, “People die these days. It is sad, but true. I’ll miss him, but, I rest well knowing that he won’t be wandering around like these mobile bags of pus infecting others, and that I didn’t get bitten.”
Then Roy goes into this whole, “I thought you two were in love and gonna start a family with Joey.” I nod. “Yep. But It didn’t happen that way. And just maybe, if all of this settles down, I will grieve the loss and cry. For now…I quit cryin’ after the hundredth time I was gang raped back in Pasco by the county Sherriff and his crew. That used up all my tears. As for being in love…I was in love with the idea of being in love. Now…I don’t know.”
Roy didn’t talk anymore after that. We snuck into town, ducking behind cars, peeking around corners. Then I spotted what I came for: BEN’S OUTDOORS AND SPORTSMAN SHOP. None of the windows are broken!
The plague or whatever this is must’ve come quick and decisive because this place is untouched and it is a gold mine. We had to use the back alley entrance but it was a big metal door just like we had at the 24-Hour Fitness I use to work at. Having left my keys a few times, I am actually somewhat of a professional at jimmying locks.