XIII
Now Marwan is dead, his body turning black in the Beirut sun near the airport, barely a hundred kilometers away from where he was born.
Ahmad. Ahmad’s presence beside Marwan disturbs Intissar. Ahmad the cruel. Ahmad the coward. What were they doing together? Ever since the incident they were linked solely because of a shared cause and a cold hatred. The first time she saw Ahmad, though, something in her trembled. It was on the front line, a year earlier, when some fighters were returning from the South. Ahmad was almost carried high in triumph. He was handsome, with an aura of victory. A group of Fedayeen had gotten into the security zone, confronted a unit of the Israeli army, and destroyed a vehicle. Even Marwan admired their courage. Intissar had shaken Ahmad’s hand and congratulated him. Men change. Weapons transform them. Weapons and the illusion they create. The false power they give. What you think you can get because you have them.
What use could the weapon lying on her lap like a newborn possibly be? What is she going to get because of it, three olive trees and four stones? A kilo of Jaffa oranges? Revenge. She is going to win peace of soul. Avenge the man she loves. Then defeat will be consummate, the city will collapse into the sea, and everything will disappear.
•
“Hello, boys.”
“Ahleeeeeen ya Ahmad,” the card-players reply.
Ahmad has one arm in a sling, he is smiling. He hasn’t seen Intissar. Habib congratulates him on his discharge from the hospital and, with a move of his head, draws his attention to the young woman sitting on the floor.
She feels her throat go tight.
Ahmad goes over to her. She gets up. He looks her sadly in the eyes.
“Intissar. .”
He puts on an appropriate look, a look of mourning. He lays down his weapon to express his condolences to the widow.
“Intissar, there was nothing to be done. .”
She feels a flood of tears rising but she tries to control them. She’s a fighter. Fighters do not cry in public.
“We were on reconnaissance, just before. One of their tanks was hidden behind a wall, with its engine switched off, dawn was just breaking, they got us in their sights with the machine gun, Marwan fell, I was hit by a ricochet. A scratch, thank God. Him, he was. . he was in the line of fire, you understand? Impossible to pull him away.”
She remains impassive.
“And now? And now? You think it’s possible to go look for him?”