The idea that women should ‘experiment’ and perform sex acts that they do not want to has become a popular model for women’s sexual behaviour in heterosexual relationships since the ‘sexual revolution’ of the 1960s. It is an idea frequently reinforced and legitimated through sex therapy (see Jeffreys, 1990). Women are still encouraged by therapists to sexually fulfill their male partners, even if they have no desire to do so, or experience pain or discomfort (Tyler, 2008). For example, in the widely recommended self-help manual for women Becoming Orgasmic, therapists Heiman and LoPiccolo encourage women to try anal sex (an increasingly ubiquitous sex practice in pornography) if a male partner is interested in it. The advice from the therapists is: “If any discomfort does occur, try again some other time” (Heiman and LoPiccolo, 1992, p. 187). The central premise is that pain and discomfort for women are not acceptable reasons for discontinuing a sexual practice, but, rather, are reasons for women to undergo further ‘training’, ‘modelling’ and coercion. Instead of understanding that using pornography as a coercive strategy is harmful, sexologists extol pornography’s virtues, stating for example that it is useful for “giving the viewer permission to model the behavior” (Striar and Bartlik, 1999, p. 61).
Exactly what type of behaviour women are expected to model from pornography further exposes the way in which the promotion and legitimation of pornography in sex therapy poses harms to women’s equality. Even at the most respectable end of therapist-recommended pornography, sadomasochistic practices and acts such as double penetration, or DP as it is known in the porn industry, can be easily found. Take for example, the Sinclair Intimacy Institute, run by a “well known and respected sexologist, Dr Mark Schoen” (Black, 2006, p. 117). It consists mainly of an online store that sells therapist-recommended pornography. On the Institute’s Website, customers are assured that the pornography available is reviewed and approved by therapists who choose only “high quality sex positive productions” (Sinclair Intimacy Institute, 2007a, n.p.). Among the list of “sex positive productions” are the mainstream pornography titles The New Devil in Miss Jones, Jenna Loves Pain, and Deepthroat.
The choice of Deepthroat is particularly revealing given the amount of publicity surrounding the circumstances of its production. Linda Marchiano (Linda Lovelace at the time of filming) detailed her extensive abuse at the hands of her husband and pimp in her book Ordeal, explaining how she was forced, sometimes at gun point to perform in pornography (Lovelace, 1980). She once stated that: “every time someone watches that film, they are watching me being raped” (quoted in Dworkin, 1981). That such a film is labelled ‘sex positive’ by therapists should be serious cause for concern. But Deepthoat is not an isolated case.
The New Devil in Miss Jones and Jenna Loves Pain both received rave reviews in the prominent US porn industry magazine Adult Video News. The editors of Adult Video News (AVN) gave Miss Jones a glowing recommendation, stating: “The sex is universally good and downright edgy, with piercing, double penetration and flogging in the closing scene…” (Pike-Johnson, 2005b, n.p.). Keep in mind, these are titles recommended for couples to watch and then model their behaviour on. Jenna Loves Pain, as if the title is not problematic enough, also received a hearty endorsement from AVN. Readers were informed that the title contained not only mild sadomasochism but that “Jenna Loves Pain raises the bar for what is possible in pure BDSM titles” (Ramone, 2005b, n.p.). To be clear, we are talking about fetish titles which contain acts of bondage, discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM), and sadly therapists do actually expect women to model this BDSM behaviour. Striar and Bartlik, for example, inform their fellow therapists that accessories to facilitate domination and submission fantasies such as “whips, restraints and blindfolds” (1999, p. 61) should be recommended to clients and can easily be found in sex stores.
The promotion of domination, submission, and other sadomasochist practices can even be found in therapist-endorsed ‘sex education’ videos. The Sinclair Intimacy Institute produces and distributes some of the most well known titles in the sex education genre. According to Dr Judy Seifer, one of the therapists involved in developing the Institute’s Better Sex series, couples should use the videos “like a textbook. Stop the tape; freeze the frame, like re-reading a chapter” (quoted in Eberwein, 1999, p. 193). This ‘textbook’, however, contains many, if not all, of the stereotypical conventions of mainstream pornography (Eberwein, 1999), including themes of BDSM.
The promotion of sadomasochism in sex education videos is particularly obvious in the Institute’s Better Sex Kits which include videos and also sex toys. One kit is titled ‘Smart Maid’. Potential customers are told via the Website that: “Dressing up and looking sexy for your partner is part of any healthy relationship…” (Sinclair Intimacy Institute, 2007b). The dressing up, however, is only expected of women: the kits offer no outfits for men. In this particular instance, women are supposed to dress up in an “upstairs maid costume”. The sexual excitement that men are expected to experience from a woman’s servitude is highlighted in the accompanying details: “At your service! Playful and sexy fantasies will come alive when she wears this sheer maids [sic] set” (Sinclair Intimacy Institute, 2007b). Themes of dominance and submission are also obvious in the ‘Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down’ kit, which includes “Japanese wrist and ankle cuffs” in addition to a leather blindfold. The accompanying photograph for the kit, rather unsurprisingly, shows a woman modelling the so-called educational BDSM wear (Sinclair Intimacy Institute, 2007c).
The promotion of pornography in sex therapy, however, only explains part of how pornography is increasingly seen as an authority on sexual matters. As a consequence of the legitimacy that sex therapists have afforded pornography over the years – holding it up as an ideal model on which to base heterosexual sex – porn stars are increasingly being positioned as ‘sex experts’. For example, in the 1999 collection Sex Tips: Advice from women experts around the world edited by Australian sex therapist Jo-Anne Baker, porn stars, sadomasochist practitioners and prostituted women appear alongside therapists as the designated ‘experts’ (Baker, 1999). Also in keeping with this trend, a number of men’s magazines in the UK and US have revamped their sex advice sections to feature porn stars instead of sex therapists (Attwood, 2005, p. 85; mediabistro.com, 2007a, 2007b).
Some porn stars and prostituted women have even begun to release their own sex advice literature. Recent titles include: How to Have A XXX Sex Life (Anderson and Berman, 2004), which is based on advice from women who are contracted to the Vivid pornography production company in the United States; Sex Secrets of Escorts: Tips from a Pro (Monet, 2005), written by Veronica Monet, a former prostitute and porn star; and How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do: Sex advice from a woman who knows (Royalle, 2004), by Candida Royalle, a high profile former porn star, turned pornographer. Rather than competing with the advice offered by medically trained therapists, the sex advice given in these works frequently draws on ‘medical’ ideas about sex and, furthermore, often reinforces these ideas with supportive examples from pornography and prostitution. Pornography and prostitution are promoted in these texts as the ultimate authority on sex and, in these texts, the eroticising of women’s submission and degradation are recurring themes.