“Ralph—”
He said, slowly: “Susan, men are… different from women. When you want somebody badly enough it gets into your blood and you… you can’t think of anything else. Halfway things aren’t enough. I mean — well, you have to make love or you can’t think or concentrate or do much of anything.”
Neither of them said anything. He stood there, fully clothed, and she sat naked on the bed. They looked at each other and it was minutes before either of them spoke a word.
Then she said: “Maybe I can help you, Ralph.”
“What do you mean?”
She turned away from him. “Ralph, you’ve got to promise not to… do anything. I don’t want you to touch me or kiss me or anything of the sort. Will you do that for me?”
“It’ll be tough,” he admitted.
“Will you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Then take off your clothes.”
He wasn’t sure what was happening but he didn’t want to argue. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it free from his trousers and slipped out of it. Then he took off his pants and put them with the shirt on a chair.
“All your clothes, Ralph.”
He untied his shoelaces and took off his shoes and socks. Then he removed his underwear and stood before her completely naked.
“Now… lie down on the bed.”
He did as he was told.
She sat down on the bed and leaned over him, her eyes probing deep into his. She smiled.
“See how much better I’m getting,” she said. “This would have terrified me a day ago.”
He smiled back at her.
“Remember,” she said. “Don’t touch me or say anything or kiss me. Don’t… don’t do anything at all.”
He nodded.
Then she lowered herself to him and kissed him on the cheek. Her lips were soft and cool and she kissed him again, more firmly this time.
Her lips found his mouth and she kissed him a third time. It was all he could do to keep from wrapping his arms around her and kissing her hard, but somehow or other he managed to restrain himself. When her tongue slipped between his lips and tasted the inside of his mouth he wanted to return the kiss, to meet her tongue with his own. But he held himself back.
Her mouth moved to his throat. As she laid a string of little kisses up and down his neck her hands moved to his arms and her fingers kneaded his biceps muscles gently, tenderly. She kept kissing him, driving him out of his mind with hunger and love for her. He didn’t think he could stand it any longer.
Her mouth moved lower and she began kissing him on the chest. Her tongue found his nipples and she kissed and licked each of them in turn, tugging on them almost as though he were a woman. He had trouble controlling his breathing and his heart was pounding like a pneumatic hammer.
“Ralph,” she breathed. “I love you.”
Her mouth moved lower. She bathed his stomach with her warm tongue until his arms were rigid at his side with his fists clenched tighter than vises. He wanted to grab her, wanted to act on all the sexual passion that had been building up within him.
Her hands found his thighs and resumed the gentle kneading motion they had used on his upper arms. He writhed and twisted on the bed and began making small involuntary sounds in his throat. Her tongue flicked against the inside of his thigh like a snake and made him gasp for breath.
She didn’t stop. She worked him into a frenzy, driving him wild with her lips and tongue until he was ready to scream for her to stop, to do anything but not to drive him insane this way.
Her tongue was busy again on the inside of his thighs. He raised his head to look at her, to say something to her, and as if on cue she looked up at him and stared into his eyes.
He returned her stare. In her eyes he saw all the love and passion and hunger in the world. Her lips parted and there was a deep, searching, penetrating stare in her eyes.
And at that instant he knew.
Maria ached.
That, she decided, was the only way to describe it. Why, she hurt all over! Her little bottom was all sore where Mummy spanked her and the rest of her body hurt in a million spots from the belt Mummy had used on her.
Maria hurt.
It wasn’t fair, she decided. She had been bad, although she couldn’t remember just what it was that had been so bad. But it didn’t really matter. She was always being bad and her Mummy was always punishing her.
But did her Mummy have to hurt her so very much? It was really terrible. The spanking was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to the belt. The belt whooshing through the air, and she would lie there on the bed waiting for it and not knowing where it would hit, and then it would land and hurt her so terribly.
It just wasn’t fair.
But she took her punishment like a good little girl. Yes, no matter how bad she was she would always take her punishment and be good about it. Why, sometimes she didn’t even wait for her Mummy to call her but went straight in to her Mummy and told her that he had been bad.
Those times she was telling lies, of course. Why, there were times when she told her Mummy that she made mud pies just to make her Mummy mad so she would get her punishment. But that all evened it out, because by telling such bad lies she was being bad and deserved the punishment she got.
But Mummy was so mean—
The spankings were all right, she decided magnanimously. The spankings were okay, and even the whipping with the belt was all right even if it hurt so much she couldn’t stand it.
But the burning—
That, she told herself firmly, was not right at all.
She fingered her breasts gingerly one at a time. Why, that wasn’t right at all. That was a horribly nasty way to punish a girl. Now why in the world would Mummy do that, taking a cigarette and lighting it and holding the tip to each of Maria’s nipples? Why, it was a perfectly horrid thing to do!
And it still hurt. Goodness knew how long it would hurt, because Mummy really held the cigarette there a long time and she only seemed to enjoy it even more when poor Maria squirmed and howled and tried to get away.
What a horrid thing to do!
That made Mummy a bad Mummy. But that didn’t make any sense, because how could a Bad Little Girl have a Bad Mummy?
It didn’t make any sense at all.
And she loved her Mummy.
But she also hated her Mummy.
It was all very confusing.
Chapter ten
Ralph lay on his side on the bed. Susan was snuggled up close to him, the top of her head just level with his lips. Without moving he kissed her gently and smiled when she murmured something that he didn’t hear.
He was at peace, completely and totally at rest. It was a peace he had never known before, a compelling and overwhelming peace that left him entirely drained of everything but a monumental love for her.
They were both naked, both wrapped up in each other’s arms. He held her as if he were holding some rare and delicate bird that would die if he held it too tight. Her body was soft and warm against him.
“I love you,” he said.
She murmured again.
“You’re the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, Susan. You’re… you’re wonderful — that’s all I can say.”
She didn’t answer.
“Susan… Susan, I want you to marry me. You will marry me, won’t you, baby?”
Slowly she raised herself up on one elbow and looked at him with eyes that were brimming over with love.
“Are you sure you want me to?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Marriage is a pretty big thing.”
“Marriage is forever,” he said. “To me marriage is something that has to be forever.”
“Forever is a long time.”
“I know it.”
“Are you sure you’ll want me… forever?”