I remember moving in freshman year of college and after meeting Jason then Jade came running out. I just remember looking at her and thinking that it was a mistake we were put together as roommates. She looked like the complete opposite of me. I was so simple and plain. I was ordinary. I read books and I had never gotten into any sorts of trouble growing up. Jade, on the other hand, was always getting into mischief and making mistakes. Sometimes I envied her but other times I’d wondered what had happened to mess her up so much.
While I do think part of her attitude towards relationships was built on her childhood with Jason and having to deal with their mother and father I knew that wasn’t the whole story. Though she never told me, I had a feeling it had to do with the first boy she ever fell in love with. Sometimes I wondered if I had made a mistake never asking her but I thought maybe she would open up to me, but that never was the case.
Finding out everything that happened to Jade and Jason it gave me a little more insight on them and I just hoped one day Jade would find someone who would make her the way Jason makes me feel. Happy and alive. Able to breathe when you feel like you’re suffocating. Feeling like you can do anything and be anything because this person loves you. This is what I thought about as I drove to Jade’s apartment but when I got out of my car and walked up to the apartment I looked at it. Really looked at it. I took in the brown shutters, red door, and the welcome mat outside the door. I looked at the doorbell that still didn’t work, even after living there for two years.
We moved into that apartment and quickly made it our home. Sure in the beginning we complained about the drippy faucet, the toilet that did not always flush, and how we had to hurry in order to get a hot shower. However we decorated and hung pictures on the wall that we had taken freshman year of college. We made dinner and ate at the dining room table. Now grant it, most of our dinners consisted of ramen noodles and easy mac and cheese, but in the end it was the company more or less.
We filled our home with memories of staying up till three in the morning watching chick flicks and eating ice cream. We got drunk and made fools of ourselves as we danced around to N*Sync and the Backstreet Boys, screaming at the top of our lungs, “I WANT IT THAT WAY.” Only to have mere minutes go before the neighbors banged on our door complaining about the loud ruckus.
Standing at the door I also remembered my time with Jason. While I had moved into his apartment to begin our family I looked beyond the door at Jade’s apartment and remembered that this was where we had made it. It was where my life had completely changed. I never thought packing my bag to go to Vegas for Isabelle’s birthday and Sarah and Gabe’s wedding party would completely flip my life upside down.
Make me dizzy and giddy.
Make me cry and beg and plead.
Make me realize who I am.
I quickly wiped away my tears and pulled out my key because Jade told me to keep a key and for Neil to keep a key to mine and Jason’s apartment in case we ever needed anything. This was the first time that I had been to the apartment since I moved out over three weeks ago and it felt like everything had changed. I guess it had. While Jade and I would always keep our best friend status we were both moving in two different directions.
I mean shit. I was pregnant with twins and Jade was still Jade, I just hoped and prayed not for long. Opening the door I saw the box Jade had left me on the kitchen island. Walking in and closing the door behind me I started to walk over to the box when I heard moaning and grunting. I stopped dead in my tracks because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Oh god Neil.”
“You feel so good baby.”
“Neil. Oh god Neil.”
“Ah Jade.”
Wait a minute did I just hear Jade’s name?
“God Jade. Jade.”
Well then, I guess that answers that question.
I started walking backwards. I figured I could just run out of here but I was almost seven months pregnant so the chances of that happening were pretty slim. I decided to just leave the box and come back later. Hopefully when neither of them was there. I had just made it to the door when Neil’s door opened and Jade walked out in his t-shirt.
Her back was to me and she said, “I’ll be back for round two in a minute.”
Giggling at him she started to turn around as I was twisting the knob and then we both froze.
“ASHLYNN!”
I knew my face was bright red and I had no clue what to do. I thought about running out of there but again, seven months pregnant. Instead I dropped my hand from the door and said, “Um?” Her mouth was wide open and I was caught in headlights. Shaking off my nerves I said, “Um, I came to get that box of stuff I left here.” She still looked really stunned but then all of a sudden I started to think about it.
Even though I only saw friendship with Neil I knew he deserved to be treated right. From what I gathered he didn’t seem like the type of guy to just have sex with a girl once. He seemed like the type of guy who made love and fucked every once in a while.
Leaning my back against the door I said, “Please tell me Jade, what the hell is going on?”
Nodding her head she said, “I’m just going to go and get Neil.”
Shaking my head I said, “I don’t want to talk to Neil. I want to talk to my best friend. I want to know what the hell is going on here.”
Biting her lip she said, “I’m just going to go get some sweats on and I’ll be back.” Turning away from me she went into her room and I walked over to the couch.
My heart was beating so fast as I pulled a blanket onto my lap. I just didn’t know what the fuck to do. I mean Jade was my best friend and Jason was my boyfriend. Fuck, we were starting a family together and I didn’t want to keep this secret from him.
I was having this mental conversation with myself when Jade walked back out into the living room and sat down on the couch. Two cushions away from me.
Laughing I said, “Jade, I don’t hate you but I just don’t want you to make another mistake. I want my best friend to find what I have with her brother, that’s all. So if this is – “
“Wow, let’s rewind Ash and I will explain everything to you, okay?”
Nodding, she began to explain what happened here.
Looking back at the Neil’s room, my old room, she said, “You’ve seen him and he’s extremely good looking. Just seeing that eyebrow ring makes me go bananas.”
Raising my eyebrows she waved her hand in the front of her face and said, “Anyway, he really took care of me after dad passed away. I was just so torn up over what happened and I started to lean on Neil. We talked a lot and grew close to one another. I guess you could say that we formed a friendship and I felt comfortable with him.”
After he moved in we got closer and one night…” Waving her hand in the air she shook her head. Looking back at me she said, “I know you’re probably going to think it was a big mistake but we decided to be a sort of friends with benefits.”
Mouth hanging open I looked at her. Shaking my head I said, “Jade I will love you for as long as I live. I mean for fuckssake you are my best friend and I know that I am yours. So as your best friend I will tell you that this is a big mistake. You guys are fucking roommates for hellfire. I mean were you really not thinking when you had this brilliant plan?”
I felt so bad because next thing I knew she was tearing up. Getting up from my seat I walked over and sat next to her. I wrapped her up in my arms and pulled her as close to me as my seven months pregnant belly would allow.
Kissing her on the top of her head I rubbed up and down her back and whispered, “I’m so sorry Jade. I didn’t mean for it to come out bitchy. But you are the sister I never had and I’m trying to look out for you. I’m not saying that Neil is a bad guy because from what I know of him he’s really nice. But Jade, did you not think about the consequences to your actions? Did you not think that this could be a big mistake?”