“Oh, my God,” Dee said. “This is even more than I hoped for.”
“Okay, let’s make this happen fast,” the President said. “I will personally meet with Rashadi along with Secretary of State Langdon. I want to nail this thing down before Khamenei comes up with some new ideas. Needless to say, I want an absolute, and I mean absolute, press blackout.”
“You know me, Mr. President. The only member of the press I speak to is the paper boy.”
Chapter 78
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a special edition of The Ellen Bellamy Show. With me today is Jerome Langdon, better known as Jerry, our Secretary of State. Mr. Secretary, I understand that you have some historic news to share with us this afternoon.”
“Historic is the perfect word, Ellen. Yesterday afternoon, a treaty was signed in the Oval Office and was immediately confirmed by the senate in a voice vote, an historic first. The treaty hopefully will bring an end to the illicit reign of Bartholomew Martin, the former President of the United States. It’s become a matter of public record recently that Bartholomew Martin and his large gang escaped from their compound in Kurdistan and created a new city in Iran, with permission of the Iranian government. Soon the Iranians learned that Martin and his followers, called the Reformers, were not the kind of guests they wished to entertain on their country’s soil. As we all know, our country along with the rest of the world, has been subject to multiple spells of horrible freezing summer temperatures, along with record-setting blizzards. Iran, a country of moderate weather with temperatures that seldom go below freezing, was plunged into the frigid darkness along with the rest of us. Iran was especially impacted because of its modest farming output that became crippled with the freezing temperatures. Ellen, I’ve watched many of your shows about the weather. You interviewed guest after guest who tried to explain the weather and the climate. Some experts blamed it on climate change, others on shifting weather patterns. One thing that all the experts agreed on was that they really didn’t know what was happening, other than to conclude that it was a natural phenomenon. We’ve recently learned that it wasn’t natural at all, but a sinister manipulation of satellite solar panels that redirected the sun’s rays away from earth and into space, creating winter in summer. None other than Bartholomew Martin, the totalitarian thug who was once our country’s president, was the man behind it. When Tehran learned of Martin’s activities we were all in the middle of one of his blizzards. The Iranians placed Martin under arrest and seized his group’s assets. They are in the process of leaving Iranian soil, but Martin is still under armed custody.”
“And how is our relationship with Iran, Mr. Secretary?”
“For the first time since the Iranian Revolution of 1979, our countries have conducted talks and reached an agreement that can only be described as cordial and mutually beneficial. The Iranians didn’t need our agreement to arrest Bartholomew Martin, but both our countries agreed to cooperate on many levels. The most significant news about the talks is that Iran did not insist on continuing its nuclear program. We have lifted all sanctions and also agreed to economic assistance, but the nukes are off the table.”
“Getting back to a subject I have come to hate, Mr. Secretary—the weather, what can you tell us?”
“We have received the full cooperation of the Rosetta Corporation, the company that owns the space station Moonwalker, which controls the satellites. Although senior management at Rosetta was unaware of it, Bartholomew Martin was controlling the satellites through Stargazer and then through Moonwalker from Rosetta headquarters using his inside hired henchmen. The two American astronauts who once controlled Stargazer, the station that was destroyed, assisted the current crew in positioning the satellites to enable earth’s temperatures to return to normal. Today is September 25, and the temperature here in New York City is 72 degrees Fahrenheit, normal for this time of year. I’m sure you’ll have an expert on your show soon who can explain exactly how the satellites changed our weather, somebody who can explain it better than I can.”
“You’re right, Mr. Secretary” Ellen said. “I’m sure I’ll be interviewing experts, but I think you did an excellent job of explaining it. Can you tell us anything about the current situation with Bartholomew Martin? We all know that he had a taste of being a dictator when he was President of the United States, and recently focused on becoming dictator of the world through climate blackmail.”
“Bartholomew Martin is under arrest and is imprisoned somewhere in Tehran. Because he committed his most recent crimes in Iran, and because he and his group were residents of Iran at the time, the Iranian government has legal jurisdiction to bring him to trial. An interesting development, an extremely interesting development, is that the Iranian government has asked for American assistance in prosecuting the case against Martin. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen such cooperation between our two countries.”
“So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen,” Ellen said. “Our insane weather has come to an end and two old rivals are not only in conversation but are cooperating with each other. Sometimes I’m blessed with good news to cover, and this show has been one of those times. Folks, if you can, get outside and enjoy this beautiful September weather. That’s what I’m going to do after the show.”
“Rick is on line one for you, Ellen.”
“So, what did you think of my happy show, hon?” Ellen said as she removed her earpiece.
“I’m not paid to be happy but to be a cynical nag, babe. But we should enjoy some happy times while we can. Let’s go for a walk in the park. My Secret Service guys could use some exercise.”
“And it will help prepare you for the next crisis.”
“You know me too well, honey.”
Chapter 79
“Deputy Foreign Minister Rashadi is here, Mr. President. I’ll escort him in.”
Rashadi hated to wear the traditional flowing robes of Iranian big shots. He was dressed in an expensive Armani suit, making him look like an investment banker.
“It’s good to see you again, Minister Rashadi,” the President said.
“Please call me ‘Hank,’ Mr. President. “It’s the name I answered to when I went to Northwestern University.”
“I have a great memory, Hank. I believe you and I were at Northwestern at the same time. I recall you wearing the traditional robes of your country. Could that have been you?”
“I was a mullah-in-training. Little did my colleagues realize that I was becoming Westernized as well.”
“Do you see us as the Great Satan, Hank?”
“Bullshit is bullshit, no matter what language it’s in, Mr. President. I’m one of many Iranian officials—and I mean many—who look to the day when our countries can be friends and allies. My friend, Ramin Abbasi, is a mid-level government minister. He’s the guy who called my attention to Bartholomew Martin. Frankly, I think Ramin is a CIA spy and that’s fine by me. If you’ve got more spies like Hamid, keep them coming. He’s a good man, and the world owes him its gratitude. Besides taking down that beast Martin, I think there’s an even more positive outcome to this event. I’m hoping the Great Satan will be replaced by the Great Friend.”