“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my privilege to introduce Rick Bellamy, Secretary of Homeland Security.”
“Good afternoon everyone,” I said. I never say ‘my fellow Americans’ because that’s a phrase that tradition reserves for the President of the United States.
“I never thought that the weather would be a subject for Homeland Security, but then I never imagined a weather system like the one we’re experiencing. Records the world over have been shattered by this amazing blast of arctic air in mid-July. We all remember as short a time ago as Sunday morning—just two days ago—when we were all complaining about an uncomfortable heat wave. The heat wave suddenly became a cold wave, and soon we had to endure the blizzard that’s still dumping snow across the nation and parts of the world as I speak. President Blake, as you’ve probably heard, has declared a National State of Emergency. As you’ve been hearing from local weather forecasters all morning, the National Weather Service predicts that an end is in sight, and we hope to see the blizzard stopping about 11 p.m. in the Eastern United States. So, what does this have to do with Homeland Security? The simple answer is that this unique weather has set up dangerous conditions across the nation. Besides the good news that the snow will finally stop falling tonight, we also hear that normal summer temperatures will resume, possibly tomorrow. I don’t have to tell you what that means—flooding like our country has never experienced before. I have a request, on behalf of the President of the United States, that we all pull together as a nation of individuals dedicated to seeing an end to this shock. Please don’t simply cooperate with law enforcement and first responders, but be ready to assist in any way you can. Together we can prevent this calamity from turning into a disaster.”
Ellen walked up to me as I was being unhooked from the sound system.
“I’m not the only TV star in the family,” she said. “You were perfect and hit just the right pitch. I think a lot of people are breathing easier after listening to you. My producer has a request. Could you make an appearance on my show this afternoon? I’ll go over the questions I’ll ask you beforehand. I think it’s important that our viewers hear some further words from my handsome hubby.”
“Of course, babe, I’d be happy to. But let me ask you a couple of questions about your other guests. Who are they and what will they be talking about?”
“You know Al Roker, the NBC meteorologist. Al, with his great sense of humor, helps to set the right tone for people to hear troublesome news. The next guy is a bit controversial. His name is Nigel Deming, an Englishman and meteorologist. The sum and substance of his appearance will be that he agrees with Professor Peterson, the climate maven. Deming thinks that we’re seeing a brand-new phenomenon that’s never happened before, but it’s still a matter of climate change.”
“In other words, bullshit.”
“Afraid so.”
Chapter 14
“Welcome to The Ellen Bellamy Show. I’m your host, Ellen Bellamy, and I’m cautiously optimistic that we may be looking forward to some promising weather news for later tonight. As you’ve probably heard by now, the National Weather Service announced that the snow will begin to taper off, and the storm should move off the east coast around 11 tonight. This afternoon’s show will continue with our favorite topic—the weather. Here in Manhattan, the accumulation has hit 10 feet and is still mounting. The sanitation department is begging and pleading with everyone not to drive. The mayor has announced that it’s a felony to drive a non-emergency vehicle without permission of the Office of Emergency Management.
“Our special guest today is Nigel Deming, a meteorologist from England, who has an interesting view on these freezing temperatures and the snowfall. But first we’ll break for a couple of commercials that will advertise some ways to beat the heat. Hopefully, we’ll be able to use their advice soon.”
Many advertisers didn’t get a chance to change their ads, and half of the commercial spots did, as Ellen predicted, talk about ways to beat the heat, including commercials for air conditioners and deck awnings. As the break ended, Ellen introduced Deming.
“Hello everyone,” Deming said. “Yesterday, Ellen hosted a gentleman named Dwight Peterson, a professor and climate expert. He announced the controversial idea that this weather event may be caused by a sudden quickening of climate change. I’m a meteorologist, not a climate expert. I study matters that are close at hand, not long-range changes in climate. But I must say from my many years of experience, that climate change is accelerating at a blazingly fast pace. As President Blake said recently, this frightening weather will be something we’ll study for a long time before we come up with any definitive answers.”
“But Mr. Deming,” Ellen said, “even though you can’t come up with a definitive answer, do you have a theory as to what may be going on?” If not, what the hell are you doing on my show?
“Ellen, I’ve looked at the opinions of every climate expert and meteorologist, and I’m convinced that climate change is the culprit, but the world has never seen this phenomenon before. I believe, ruling out all other possible causes, that the origin of this event occurred in space, possibly outer space. I don’t know how, but I believe that something strange is happening to the rays of the sun itself. I don’t believe the problem originates here on earth, or even in our own atmosphere.”
Chapter 15
July 18 – Peoria, Illinois
“What the hell do you mean we’ve lost all power, Carol? We have a goddam new generator that cost a fortune. Did you call the electricians?”
“Our phones are out, including cell phones. I’ve never seen anything like this, Janet. I just heard a report on the radio—a battery powered-radio—that half of Peoria is without electricity, including City Hall. Just look out the window. According to the guy on the radio, our infrastructure just isn’t designed for something like this. The heating system just crapped out, along with the electricity and the emergency generator.”
Janet Munson is the executive director of the Pleasant Fields Nursing Home in Peoria, Illinois. She retired from the Army three years before with the rank of colonel. She commanded a tank battalion in Iraq, and she has a reputation for her military can-do attitude.
“I don’t give a flying fuck what the guy on the radio says. We have 140 elderly people in this place, people who depend on us to take care of them. That’s why we’ve invested so much money in this building—to make sure it’s up and running no matter what the weather is. These people need us. We can’t just say, ‘Oh gee, the shitty weather means you’re going to freeze to death.’ The freezing temperatures, not to mention the blizzard, are screwing everything up, We’re out of communication and out of power.”
Carol Johnston, Janet Munson’s assistant, was used to dealing with her demanding boss. She admired Munson’s dedication to her work, but sometimes you come up against a brick wall, and that’s exactly what happened to them.
Twenty-five visiting relatives were in the building, people who wanted to know what management was doing for their loved ones.
“Carol, I’m sorry to be cracking your ass with a whip, but we can’t just sit here and do nothing. Did you send the aides around with extra blankets?”