She sat motionless for a moment, then lay back and put her head on the pillow. “You’re right,” she said. “I have a confession to make too.”
I didn’t say anything. It was her turn to do the talking.
“There’s a reason you didn’t see my name in any of those council minutes. It’s because I wasn’t actually at any of the meetings.”
“An absentee angel?”
“No.” She paused. Her lips were pressed together tightly, as if she wanted to stop the words escaping. Finally, she forced them out. “An absentee, but not an angel.”
It was my turn to be genuinely surprised. “What did you say?”
“You heard,” she said, her voice now as bitter as coffee grounds flavoured with lemon rind. “Would you like me to say it again? I’m not an angel. Are you satisfied now?”
“If you’re not an angel, who are you?”
“Just a woman. Just a normal, everyday woman. I lived my life, I died, and I was sent . . . down below.”
“Why were you sent . . . down below?”
“I’d prefer not to talk about it. I didn’t live a particularly good life. I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of, and hurt a lot of people. And that’s why they sent me down . . . Oh what’s the point in being precious about it? That’s why they sent me down to Hell, to do my time and endure the punishments of a life ill-spent.”
“You don’t seem to be enduring much punishment.”
She started to reply, but I placed a hand over her mouth.
“Save it,” I said. “This is a story that should be told over a drink.”
She nodded. “Last drink for a condemned woman.”
I went back to the kitchen, grabbed the bottle and the glasses, and returned to the bedroom. I poured two glasses and handed one to her. She held it to her lips, and with a delicate flick she downed its contents. A second glass met with a similarly swift fate.
“So, a funny thing happened on the way to Hell,” I said. She was right. The time for euphemisms was over. I felt a sense of release having finally uttered the word.
Jessie shivered. “There’s nothing funny about Hell.”
“It’s really that bad?”
“The place you lived in before you died. What was it like?”
“It was a charming place.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. We had a wonderful family called the Bostinos, who looked after everyone and made sure nobody ever misbehaved. They had all these lovely little games they liked to play. Games where if you lost, they’d beat your brains out. Actually, that’s not completely true. If you won, they’d beat your brains out too.”
“So you think it was pretty rough?”
“I know it was pretty rough. If a boy didn’t have at least twenty knife scars by his fifth birthday, his sexuality was called into question.”
She laughed. A cold, hard laugh. “Hell’s worse.”
“You really think so?”
“Listen to me, Jimmy. Anything your Bostino family dished out would be like a Christmas party compared to Hell.”
I finished my glass and poured another for myself. I offered one to her, but she shook her head.
“What makes Hell so bad?” I said.
“I can’t tell you. The memories are too strong. Too terrible. All I can say is that after many long years of pain, I found a way out. I stumbled on a secret passage between Heaven and Hell.”
“Must have been your lucky day.”
“When I first made it to the top of the passage, I couldn’t tell if it was good luck or bad. I would spend hours looking out into Heaven, envying all of the good people who had made it here, and dreaming of the day when my time in Hell would finally be up and I could join them. But I didn’t dare pass through. Not at first.”
“But eventually you did.”
Jessie wiped a tear from her eye. “Eventually I did. I couldn’t stand it anymore. It was so hard, and I had so long to wait. Finally, in the middle of the night, I did it. I stole through the passageway and into Heaven. And here I’ve been, ever since.”
“And no one seemed surprised by the arrival of a new angel in Heaven?”
“No one,” she replied, her voice still quavering. “I created a whole new identity for myself as the angel Jessie, and no one here even batted an eyelid. But that’s the way it is in Heaven. People don’t question you. They respect you for who you are. Except for Sally. She was the only one who was suspicious, until you came along.”
Jessie paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “So, now you’ve discovered my secret. I guess this is the end for me.” As she finished, she hid her head in her hands. Her whole body was wracked with sobs.
“Just a minute,” I said. “What makes you think this is the end for you?”
Jessie raised her head and looked at me. Her eyes glowed like porcelain marbles in the darkness. “Isn’t that what your case was about? To find me and send me back to Hell? Are you working for God, or just for Sally?”
“What sort of detective do you think I am, Angel?”
She blinked in surprise. “Please don’t call me Angel.”
“Why shouldn’t I call you Angel?”
“You know why. Because I’m not—”
“But I like calling you Angel.” She didn’t answer. I figured she liked me calling her Angel too.
“Now listen to me,” I said. “First of all, I never told you that I actually was on a case.”
“But you said—”
“No I didn’t. I said that maybe I was here for a particular reason, but I never told you what that reason was. Secondly, even if I was working on a case, that doesn’t mean it has anything to do with you. And thirdly, even if that case did involve you, I have no intention of having you shipped back to the fiery pit. Now you’ve told me your secret, and that’s fine with me. I was holding out my hat for some honesty. What you threw in was a lot heavier than I expected, but my neck is pretty strong. When I put my hat back on my head, nothing is going to fall out. What’s in there stays there.”
“Do you mean that?” said Jessie. “You won’t tell anyone.”
I grinned at her—a big toothy grin, so she could see it. “You’ve been honest with me, so I guess I should return the favour. As it happens, I am working on a case. I can’t disclose the exact nature of this case, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with investigating imposter angels. And I’m definitely not working for Sally. My instructions come directly from God Himself, though as far as I’m concerned, I see no need to report back to Him details that I do not deem relevant to the case.”
Jessie slid across the bed and nestled against me. She placed her head down on the pillow and lay, breathing softly. After a while, she spoke.
“The last time I saw you, I offered you my assistance. I’d like to now quadruple that offer.”
“Quite frankly, Angel, I think the best thing you can do is stay well away. But I’ve still got a couple of questions to ask you. Firstly, I don’t get Heaven. There’s barely anything to do, the food is mediocre, and, with the exception of a certain house upon the hill, the accommodation is nothing to write home about. I just don’t see why this place is so special.”
“It is special,” said Jessie, “but maybe you can’t understand why until you’ve seen the alternative.”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time I saw the alternative.”
Jessie jerked upright like a supercoiled spring. “I don’t want you going down there.”
“But Angel, I have to.”
“Can’t you just stay here with me?”
“I’ve still got a job to do. I have to find out about the man I saw at Sally’s.”
“Please don’t go,” she begged. “You don’t know what it’s like down there. You have no idea how truly frightful it is.”