I lie thisright place for me with my fingers ripped onthebody Mine is Lie in the ground faceWhere I Right for meyes. Think about your face. Something. Shush now. Right now. FullofslimeThere better now. And I am. Done with this done. Fill the air up. Smear the blood up is there any no no t reeeeelly. My work is. I’ve done my I should do. I’ve done the this time really well. And best of. It was the best of. How. Ready now. I’m screaming in the blackness. Scream until I’m done my body. Full of nothing. Full of dirt the. I am. My I can. There there breath that. Where is your face off somewhere. Where am I lay down this tool. I fall I felled. I banged my face head I think. Time for somewhere. Isgoinghome.
I get there I get. I get to the door. I am. Bleed blood on my mouth. Gone. My I know it’s there. Was. Salt and iron. Gone. I lick tank taste water taste brack there I. In my gob. Vomit on me. Gone. My hair. But in my eye. Just all is there is in my eye gone. Gone it back to. Bed. But the silent. House in there I know. Bleed my knuckles find if I. Something. Key. Hear the swarm hear the queen in the hive I. Turn the handle round about I push the glass door goes I go. Go in.
Under your door I know they’re. Swaying sing on you doing. And you are scared by if you’re awake that. Not you no that there’s I. Forget. You are. Gone. You would be though afraid of that. Aunt are here. Is here. They in there no not. No nright mright rong wrong they won’t be there. But I will I. Me me. Will I get in this room or go orgo or goon wash myself blood I know that my cheek no there isn’t. My mouth. Plunged and red and purple swoll like a lemon melon swoll like riped ripped like shreds my tongue my salt my. Who kissed me? Burn of it god that torn. Open the door. They you who are there?
Oh Lord God. Oh Lord God of might where were you? What happened you? What happened your face? It looks it looks like. Oh sweet Jesus someone say sit and let me look. At. That. They come like locust clusters of bees on me land on me don’t shh I know don’t don’t move or the you what makes them angry let no you don’t sit. Don’t move.
And she my mother look at that what. My torn out mouth my ripped out hair my puke vile blood clothes holes with mud grass on she does not see they do not see. Maybe. I. Eyes burst with rage she. Seeming. She will. I’ve no. I look at you there, spread light their candles by your bed and you asleep and you. So white and clean my. Speak if it were not for my tongue I wish I was. Sssss. She has me. Come you out here. Close the door on them. What have you done?
What I’ve done. Nothing ever ever Mammy. Don’t you cheek me, clip on the ear. Ow Mammy. How can you do this to your brother to me? No. Where were you? I fell I hit my head I fell I got my mouth I caught my pulled it on a bramble pulled it on. What are you on about? Your lies and lies are. Have you no shame? Mammy. All my shame I give to you. I’m turning off the lights I’m shutting down my doors. What do you mean by that? Don’t you turn your back on me. What do you mean? Nothing Mammy. I’ve had enough do you hear me? Enough of you. Your face. You’re a state. Making a show of yourself on today of all days. Go she says and have a bath. Lie down and later someone’ll take you to get a stitch in that. I open the door look at. You’re awake saying what’s gone on you’re not. I wish. You were. See do you see what I did to my face for you for you lying there? Oh I. No I don’t. They look at me. I fell and wish I fell don’t. I just fell. You should. Can hardly talk your voice comes up but far away from me. I know you know the. Sound of. Sssh you can’t talk to me. I know I don’t I do. Peel off from you what face once was. I’m going no. Go out of the room. Get out of my sight she says.
I climb the up the. Hurt. Stairs. I go. Behind I hear them close your door and pray.
Do not be afraid — I will save you.
I have called you by name — you are mine.
When you pass through deep water, I will be with you;
your troubles will not overwhelm you.
When you pass through fire, you will not be burned;
the hard trials that come will not hurt you.
For I am the Lord your God.
Near me I turn the bath light on I see I think that fuck punge of my face. It tore it shred of. I see think I must she creature fuck that me that what have you? Sssh wash it off. I see floorboards in the bathroom coming up for me. Wave. Do I see. In the trees in the hunted. Fox and goat. No. Where’s the. On my hand. My face the blood on. My lips. Teeth. Rust on my dirt or me. Where’s the. Nothing. Water. Turn what at the taps to do. Burning. My the. Oh what’s the words for the. Where are you? Where are you? I. Door handle turn. Don’t come in it’s. For him the who’s there uncle looking in at you. No. At me.
Jesus Christ you’re green. Look my face. What have you done? See there see it? See it? Oh my God, they said but. Me. See. Me me me not her. What? He. I don’t know. What’s that inside you now? Hwta the knewit. Gone s. Lost but something. What I.
He stretch his hand out on my soft head. He puts his hands on. Touch my hair. The. Dirt in it. Picks. You done, you done this to yourself this? This? Know me you know he know me. I. Yes I. So I did. I was good and I was strong. Oh his f. He is crying. I. Something. He. Put. He put me in his arms he catch the. Stroke my. Don’t do that again. Don’t do that I. Whatever it. You have done. He I. No get off I. He. I squirm he. Got. He. On my back his soft kiss and hands and hands and. I fall in there. On what I know. H. He turn. He lock the bathroom door. In there. There there there. In the dark there’s no light on. My eyes. For a long time Shush love shush you now. No one’s here and others praying can’t hear can’t. Why I’m here. Let me do for you. He say. He this. Comfort. To stroke me down. Yes hands on me I let. In my long hair. In my jumper. He feels. In my knickers. Don’t. In my bra. No. He find the trail leading. All the way back. I love you. I love you it’s he says I love you. That is love evermore for me. He say open let me. In. I’ll mind you. No. Shush there. Lift my skirt up I think knicker hands. Runs hands on score thighs dirt. There open my love I won’t he says open and undoes. The trouser the spring the needle stick the knife. Let me. I won’t. Don’t scuffle. I’ll take care of you. No don’t. Take it all out of the inside. No. Push back in. Knock me on the door. Ssssh. Don’t let everybody hear. I lo I lo. I’ll take care of you. Let me. Oh no no no no no. I don’t want. Want. Quiet pet. There he does it. Says come on now it’s what’s good you and us. Stick it ionthe don’tinside wwherhtewaterisswimming htroughmynoseandmouth throughmysense myorgands sthroughmythrough. That. A. My brain. He. Like. Now. Ithink i smell of woodwherethe river hits the lakebrownwashfoamy up the bank side Isee allcreaturesthere fish ducklings inthespring spring water going throughmyveins sinktheocean seeoutfar my salt my. Sea firsttime. Ahhhh pisses. Up me. Is the love that. No the other. Finisch lovely. He is done. Drop to earth. Tender. Can’t smell this room.