But I am wandering from the main point.
I forgot to tell you in my last letter that when I got home from the Priemkovs' I felt sorry I had mentioned Faust; Schiller would have been a great deal better for the first time, if it was to be something German. I felt especially afraid of the first scenes, before the meeting with Gretchen. I was not quite easy about Mephistopheles either. But I was under the spell of Faust, and there was nothing else I could have read with zest. It was quite dark when we went into the summer-house; it had been made ready for us the day before. Just opposite the door, before a little sofa, stood a round table covered with a cloth; easy-chairs and seats were placed round it; there was a lamp alight on the table. I sat down on the little sofa, and took out the book. Vera Nikolaevna settled herself in an easy-chair, a little way off, close to the door. In the darkness, through the door, a green branch of acacia stood out in the lamplight, swaying lightly; from time to time a flood of night air flowed into the room. Priemkov sat near me at the table, the German beside him. The governess had remained in the house with Natasha. I made a brief, introductory speech. I touched on the old legend of doctor Faust, the significance of Mephistopheles, and Goethe himself, and asked them to stop me if anything struck them as obscure. Then I cleared my throat. . . . Priemkov asked me if I wouldn't have some sugar water, and one could perceive that he was very well satisfied with himself for having put this question to me. I refused. Profound silence reigned. I began to read, without raising my eyes. I felt ill at ease; my heart beat, and my voice shook. The first exclamation of sympathy came from the German, and he was the only one to break the silence all the while I was reading. . . . "Wonderful! sublime!" he repeated, adding now and then, "Ah! that's profound." Priemkov, as far as I could observe, was bored; he did not know German very well, and had himself admitted he did not care for poetry! . . . Well, it was his own doing! I had wanted to hint at dinner that his company could be dispensed with at the reading, but I felt a delicacy about saying so. Vera Nikolaevna did not stir; twice I stole a glance at her. Her eyes were fixed directly and intently upon me; her face struck me as pale. After the first meeting of Faust with Gretchen she bent forward in her low chair, clasped her hands, and remained motionless in that position till the end. I felt that Priemkov was thoroughly sick of it, and at first that depressed me, but gradually I forgot him, warmed up, and read with fire, with enthusiasm. . . . I was reading for Vera Nikolaevna alone; an inner voice told me that Faust was affecting her. When I finished (the intermezzo I omitted: that bit belongs in style to the second part, and I skipped part, too, of the "Night on the Brocken") . . . when I finished, when that last "Heinrich!" was heard, the German with much feeling commented--"My God! how splendid!" Priemkov, apparently overjoyed (poor chap!), leaped up, gave a sigh, and began thanking me for the treat I had given them. . . . But I made him no reply; I looked towards Vera Nikolaevna. . . . I wanted to hear what she would say. She got up, walked irresolutely towards the door, stood a moment in the doorway, and softly went out into the garden. I rushed after her. She was already some paces off; her dress was just visible, a white patch in the thick shadow.
"Well?" I called--"didn't you like it?"
She stopped.
"Can you leave me that book?" I heard her voice saying.
"I will present it you, Vera Nikolaevna, if you care to have it."
"Thank you!" she answered, and disappeared.
Priemkov and the German came up to me.
"How wonderfully warm it is!" observed Priemkov; "it's positively stifling. But where has my wife gone?"
"Home, I think," I answered.
"I suppose it will soon be time for supper," he rejoined. "You read splendidly," he added, after a short pause.
"Vera Nikolaevna liked Faust, I think," said I.
"No doubt of it!" cried Priemkov.
"Oh, of course!" chimed in Schimmel.
We went into the house.
"Where's your mistress?" Priemkov inquired of a maid who happened to meet us.
"She has gone to her bedroom."
Priemkov went off to her bedroom.
I went out on to the terrace with Schimmel. The old man raised his eyes towards the sky.
"How many stars!" he said slowly, taking a pinch of snuff; "and all are worlds," he added, and he took another pinch.
I did not feel it necessary to answer him, and simply gazed upwards in silence. A secret uncertainty weighed upon my heart. . . . The stars, I fancied, looked down seriously at us. Five minutes later Priemkov appeared and called us into the dining-room. Vera Nikolaevna came in soon after. We sat down.
"Look at Verotchka," Priemkov said to me.
I glanced at her.
"Well? don't you notice anything?"
I certainly did notice a change in her face, but I answered, I don't know why--
"No, nothing."
"Her eyes are red," Priemkov went on.
I was silent.
"Only fancy! I went upstairs to her and found her crying. It's a long while since such a thing has happened to her. I can tell you the last time she cried; it was when our Sasha died. You see what you have done with your Faust!" he added, with a smile.
"So you see now, Vera Nikolaevna," I began, "that I was right when----"
"I did not expect this," she interrupted me; "but God knows whether you are right. Perhaps that was the very reason my mother forbade my reading such books,--she knew----"
Vera Nikolaevna stopped.
"What did she know?" I asked. "Tell me."
"What for? I'm ashamed of myself as it is; what did I cry for? But we'll talk about it another time. There was a great deal I did not quite understand."
"Why didn't you stop me?"
"I understood all the words, and the meaning of them, but----"
She did not finish her sentence, and looked away dreamily. At that instant there came from the garden the sound of rustling leaves, suddenly fluttering in the rising wind. Vera Nikolaevna started and looked round towards the open window.
"I told you there would be a storm!" cried Priemkov. "But what made you start like that, Verotchka?"
She glanced at him without speaking. A faint, far-off flash of lightning threw a mysterious light on her motionless face.
"It's all due to your Faust," Priemkov went on. "After supper we must all go to by-by. . . . Mustn't we, Herr Schimmel?"
"After intellectual enjoyment physical repose is as grateful as it is beneficial," responded the kind-hearted German, and he drank a wine-glass of vodka.
Immediately after supper we separated. As I said good-night to Vera Nikolaevna I pressed her hand; her hand was cold. I went up to the room assigned to me, and stood a long while at the window before I undressed and got into bed. Priemkov's prediction was fulfilled; the storm came close, and broke. I listened to the roar of the wind, the patter and splash of the rain, and watched how the church, built close by, above the lake, at each flash of lightning stood out, at one moment black against a background of white, at the next white against a background of black, and then was swallowed up in the darkness again. . . But my thoughts were far away. I kept thinking of Vera Nikolaevna, of what she would say to me when she had read Faust herself, I thought of her tears, remembered how she had listened. . . .
The storm had long passed away, the stars came out, all was hushed around. Some bird I did not know sang different notes, several times in succession repeating the same phrase. Its clear, solitary voice rang out strangely in the deep stillness; and still I did not go to bed. . . .
Next morning, earlier than all the rest, I was down in the drawing-room. I stood before the portrait of Madame Eltsov. "Aha," I thought, with a secret feeling of ironical triumph, "after all, I have read your daughter a forbidden book!" All at once I fancied--you have most likely noticed that eyes en face always seem fixed straight on any one looking at a picture--but this time I positively fancied the old lady moved them with a reproachful look on me.