I once read a quote that said, “Some people are so brutally honest that it almost seems they enjoy more being brutal than being truthful.” Being truthful doesn’t mean that you have to be brutal. Buddha was known for speaking the truth. He put forward six profound conditions that should be evaluated to determine the right time of breaking the truth to someone assuming it should be spoken at all.
Once, Prince Abhaya asked Buddha if he ever spoke harsh and disagreeable words. At first, Buddha said there was no categorical yes or no answer. However, when pressed by Abhaya, the Venerable One, referring to himself in third person as Tathagata (the one gone beyond) spoke:
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be un-factual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), un- endearing and disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, un-endearing and disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but un-endearing and disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them.
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be un- factual, untrue, unbeneficial, but endearing and agreeable to others, he does not say them.
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, but endearing and agreeable to others, he does not say them.
In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, and endearing and agreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. Why is that? Because the Tathagata has compassion for living beings.39
It’s hard to find a better and clearer teaching on truth. If our words are true, factual, beneficial but not endearing or agreeable, we should think a million times before stating such truth as it’s unlikely to accomplish anything at all. It’ll hurt the other person and won’t benefit them in any way.
Imagine you are a coach and your student is about to run the 100-meter sprint in Olympics. Just when the shot is fired, you start telling your student the truth about how good she is and how you are certain she’ll win and so on. Those words may be true, factual, beneficial, endearing and agreeable but it’s not the right time. It’ll distract her, and keep her from winning the race. Sometimes, you have to tell the truth even if it’s not endearing and agreeable (which is often the case). Even at that time, one must consider the time and place. Your child accompanies you to a birthday party where you see some other kid who scored really well in his exams. If you start lecturing your child in that moment, asking him to take inspiration from this other person, it would fall on deaf ears and do more damage than good.
In that context, truth is not absolute. The nature of truth changes according to circumstances and time. You draw three lines a, b, and c. The line a is the tallest one, it’s the truth. Someone comes along and draws a fourth line, d, making it even taller than a. A statement that was perfectly correct and true before d was drawn is no longer true or factual. The point I’m arriving at is that it’s pivotal to examine the nature of your truth you are about to state. If it’s just a matter of opinion, you may want to hold on until you are absolutely certain that what you are stating is a fact and not your interpretation of a fact.
When Jesus was asked if he was the king of the Jews, he could have negated and his life would have been spared, but he chose to speak the truth. Next only to compassion, truth is the most potent quality of a true saint, a noble human being. Next time you are tempted to tell a lie, just pause for a moment, reflect on it and choose your words carefully. It’ll go a long way in ensuring that your speech, thoughts and actions are in harmony.
All said and done, truth in speech, thoughts and conduct is the most potent way to flood yourself with immense inner strength. Meditation will become a child’s play then. For a truthful person is always calmer and less distracted. When you lead a life of truth, you have very little to be afraid of. It is also the most expensive virtue because the world does not take too kindly when they are told the truth.
Gratitude
The singular most powerful emotion to set everything right in one’s life, no matter what the circumstances maybe, is gratitude. The practice of gratitude helps you to focus on the light in your life rather than worrying about the darkness.
Some eight years ago, before I renounced, there was a cold wave in North India. Several incidents of homeless people dying from the cold were reported. My father asked and inspired me to do my two cents worth. Consequently, a senior manager in my company, who was also a close friend of mine, and I decided to distribute blankets to the needy. We did not want to just give them away to some organization. Instead, we wanted to ensure that they directly went to the hands of those in need. We bought about fifteen dozen blankets. We had an SUV that could stock more than 70 blankets at a time. My friend, his sister, our driver and I got in the vehicle at midnight. We started driving around the high streets of a major city, an industrial town.
The outside temperature was a chilly three degrees centigrade.
The street lights had a thick foggy halo around them. The roads were deserted, even the stray dogs and the cows were in hiding. It was all painfully quiet and cold. As we drove around, we saw there were homeless people lying on the footpaths at different places. Some had wrapped themselves in jute bags, some in flattened cardboard boxes, quite a few were draped in newspapers. Among these were the aged, the young, men and women, children, toddlers and infants. Not even one person was sleeping with their legs fully stretched, all were lying curled up to conserve body heat. In the car the heating was on, we felt guilty for enjoying this little luxury. I had seen things like that earlier, it was the first time however that I paid close attention.
We stepped out of the car and woke some people up to give them new blankets. Some were ecstatic, some cried, some thought we were the police who came to remove them from sleeping at a public place, some thought it was a joke. A few were drunk and could not get up, some wanted more than one blanket. No one asked us for money or other things. They seemed very contented to get a blanket.
Their clothes were soiled and tattered, their hair unruly and mostly matted, their bodies dark and smudged in dirt, years of suffering and sweat had permanently settled on their bodies, but, their eyes had an expression of peace and acceptance. Further, they all bore smiles of gratitude and contentment as they got their blankets. Some immediately unwrapped the blanket and donned it. It was gratifying beyond words to see them do so. Some made it their pillow; they either did not want to use it right away because it was new or perhaps intended to sell it in the grey market the following day. That was beside the point. We did our karma, we thought.
There was one particular scene beyond bear. Some people came running towards our car as they saw from a distance that we were giving blankets. In that group was a girl, she was physically handicapped. She tried to rush like the rest fearing the car might leave or we might run out of blankets. While she was trying to run, she stumbled and fell down. We almost cried seeing her state. As she got up and came closer, we realized she was mentally challenged as well. We could not endure the scene. We did our part and quickly got going. I never went out again to distribute blankets. I did not have the heart to see such suffering. My friend and his sister gave away the remaining on another night.