“I won’t marry her!” Derek declared. “You cannot make me!”
Alec glared at him. “Once again, I am nae interested in hearing you speak.”
Lily met Derek’s gaze. “For the record, as he is the Duke of Warnick, I think he absolutely could make you marry me, Mr. Hawkins,” she enunciated his lack of title, knowing it made him mad with jealousy, before returning her attention to Alec. “But what His Grace cannot do is make me marry you. Or anyone, for that matter.”
She thought for a moment that she saw his lips twitch at the words. At the way she stood up for herself. She wondered if he was slightly proud of her.
She was rather proud of herself, honestly.
“I would nae dream of forcing you into marriage, Miss Hargrove,” he replied.
“We both know that’s not true,” she retorted. “But I’m not interested in the current option.”
“And thank God for that,” Alec retorted.
“You’d be lucky to have me,” Derek spat.
Alec immediately looked back at him. “It speaks again.” He raised his fist and struck Derek once more. “Next time, I’ll take out teeth.”
A thrill went through her at his unhesitating response. At the way he instantly protected her. She liked it far too much.
If she wasn’t careful, Alec would be as dangerous as Derek had been.
More so.
“That’s enough, Your Grace,” Lillian said. “You’ve done your damage.” Alec stood, bringing Derek to his feet at the same time. When he did not immediately let Derek go, Lily said, “Release him.”
Not without a final word. Alec leaned down, terrifying the other man, enjoying the horror on his idiot face. “I told you I would destroy you, did I not? And that was before you touched her. Before you insulted her.”
He released his grip, dropping Derek to the ground, sending him scurrying backward like a beetle, reaching for his bloodied nose. “You broke my nose. I am an actor!”
Alec reached into his own pocket, withdrawing his handkerchief to wipe the blood from his knuckles. “If you come near her again, I shall do more than break your nose. I shall make it impossible for you to walk the boards of your damn stage. And I shall do so without hesitation. And with exceeding pleasure.”
“It won’t change anything,” Derek sniped. “The moment the world sees my painting, they’ll see the truth.” He looked at Lily. “No one will have you honorably, and the only companionship you’ll be able to find is your brutal duke and a handful of men who want you for just that—companionship.”
The shame came again. Hot and angry and desperate. And somehow, in all of it, all she wished was that Alec had not heard it.
She wished him to think more of her.
But he did not, of course. Hadn’t he said the same to her not an hour earlier in the center of the ballroom?
Sell when you can.
He did not see the similarity, apparently, as he went after Derek again, lifting him by the collar until the man she’d once loved dangled above the floor. Lily’s eyes went wide as Hawkins grasped at Alec’s wrists ineffectively. “Give me one decent reason not to kill you right now.”
Hawkins squeaked his protest.
“Let him go,” Lily said.
“Why?” Alec did not look to her.
“Because I am ruined anyway. With or without his murder on my conscience,” she said. “And because I asked you to.”
He did look at her then, the moon casting the slopes and angles of his handsome face in beautiful light. He was the most handsome man she’d ever seen, even now, his coat in tatters, his eyes flashing fire.
Especially now.
“Because I asked you to,” she repeated, her gaze on his.
He put Derek down.
Derek rolled his shoulders back, smoothing his coat sleeves, apparently unaware that his face and cravat were bloodstained. By Alec.
For Lily’s honor.
No one had ever cared for her honor before. She wasn’t sure if she liked it.
She liked it.
But she had no time to like it. Instead, she turned to Derek. “Remember this when you wake in the morning, and you are able to see the sun. Remember I gave you something you refused me.”
“I never threatened your life.”
She took a deep breath. “That is precisely what you did.”
“Lillian,” Alec said, and Lily held up a hand at the caution in the word. At his disapproval. He might be her guardian, but she would not allow him to manage her. She stepped around him, coming to face this man she’d once loved, this man who she’d once believed hung the moon beyond.
“I cannot salvage the opinion of those around me, the opinion Society shares. The opinion that will be solidified when you exhibit the portrait.” She paused. Took a deep breath. And added, “I cannot ever be rid of the shame I feel for the whole debacle.” She looked at Alec then. Acknowledged that he was right. That his plan was the best one. “I cannot ever outrun it.”
Understanding flared in his beautiful brown eyes, and she waited for triumph to follow with the realization of what she would do.
She would find a man. And she would marry.
Because there was no other option.
“Get out, Derek.”
He insisted the last word. “A lesser man would display the painting tonight to punish you. To punish your brute of a guardian. But I am a greater mind. More evolved than any the world has ever known. And so I bestow upon you my benevolence . . .” He paused in that way that Derek did. The way that he always had when she posed for him. She’d used to hang on those pauses, certain they predicated utter brilliance. Now she knew the truth—all that came out of Derek Hawkins’s mouth was sewage. “Consider it a gift, little Lily. For the . . . inspiration.” The way the word oozed from him made Lily want to retch with regret. “In your week, you might consider making your beast less savage.”
Alec stilled, looking down at her hand and then to Derek. “The only thing stopping me from tearing you limb from limb is her benevolence, you pompous gnat. Get out.”
The words were barely restrained, terrifying enough to send Hawkins running for the door.
Lily watched the door for a long moment after Derek left, eventually speaking to it, unable to look at Alec. “Tell me. If he’d painted a nude man, would London be so scandalized?” When Alec did not speak, Lily answered the question herself. “Of course not.”
“Lillian,” he whispered, and for a fleeting moment, she regretted refusing him the use of her nickname. After all, if anyone should use it, was it not the man who fought for her without hesitation? Without her deserving it?
She took a deep breath. “My reputation is ruined, because I am a woman, and we are not our own. We belong to the world. Our bodies, our minds.”
“You don’t belong to anyone. That’s the point. If you did, this would not be such a scandal.”
She raised a brow. “I belong to you, do I not?”
“No.”
Her lips twisted at the instant reply. “Of course not. You never wanted me.”
No one ever wants me. Not in any way that matters.
It was his turn to shake his head. “That isnae what I meant.”
“That doesn’t make it less true.”
He watched her for a long moment. “It doesna matter what is true. Only what you believe.”
She nodded at her own words on his lips. “Then we are in agreement. I am not interested in laying blame, Your Grace. I am simply interested in leaving this room and deciding which lucky gentleman I must charm into saddling himself with me as wife.”