As for the rest, it merely confirmed his own conviction that science and invention had reached its peak with the Model-T Ford and had been growing steadily more decadent ever since. And besides, Mackenzie wanted to get on with the depth amp; color interview- They got through that with a minimum of rehearsing, Jubal simply making sure that no question would be asked which could upset the public fiction that the Man from Mars had just returned from South America. Mike sent greetings to his friends and brothers of the Champion, including one to Dr. Mahmoud delivered in croaking, throat rasping Martian Jubal decided that Mackenzie had his money's worth.
At last the household could quiet down. Jubal set the telephone for two hours refusal, stood up, stretched, sighed, and felt a great weariness, wondered if he were getting old. "Where's dinner? Which one of you wenches was supposed to get dinner tonight? And why didn't you? Gad, this household is falling to wrack and ruin!"
"It was my turn to get dinner tonight," Jill answered, "but-"
"Excuses, always excuses."
"Boss," Anne interrupted sharply, "how do you expect anyone to cook when you've kept every single one of us penned up here in your study all afternoon?"
"That's the moose's problem," Jubal said dourly. "I want it clearly understood that, even if Armageddon is held on these premises I expect meals to be hot and on time right up to the ultimate trump. Furthermore-"
"Furthermore," Anne completed, "it is now only seven-forty and plenty of time to have dinner by eight. So quit yelping, Boss, until you have something to yelp about. Cry-baby."
"Is it really only twenty minutes of eight? Seems like a week since lunch. Anyhow you haven't left me a civilized amount of time to have a pre-dinner drink."
"Poor you?'
"Somebody get me a drink. Get everybody a drink. On second thought let's skip a formal dinner tonight and drink our dinners; I feel like getting as tight as a tent rope on a rainy day. Anne, how are we fixed for smorgasbord?"
"Plenty."
"Then why not thaw out eighteen or nineteen kinds and spread 'em around and let anybody eat what he feels like when he feels like it? What's all the argument about?"
"Right away," agreed Jill.
Anne stopped to kiss him on his bald spot. "Boss, you've done nobly. We'll feed you and get you drunk and put you to bed. Wait, Jill, I'm going to help."
"I may to help, too?" Smith said eagerly.
"Sure, Mike. You can carry trays. Boss, dinner will be by the pool. It's a hot night."
"How else?" When they had left, Jubal said to Duke, "Where the hell have you been all day?"
"Thinking."
"Doesn't pay to. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you. Any results?"
"Yes," said Duke, "I've decided that what Mike eats, or doesn't eat, is no business of mine."
"Congratulations. A desire not to butt into other people's business is at least eighty percent of all human 'wisdom� and the other twenty percent isn't very important."
"You butt into other people's business. All the time."
"Who said I was wise? I'm a professional bad example. You can learn a lot by watching me. Or listening to me. Either one."
"Jubal, if I walked up to Mike and offered him a glass of water, do you suppose he would go through that lodge routine?"
"I feel certain that he would. Duke, almost the only human characteristic Mike seems to possess is an overwhelming desire to be liked. But I want to make sure that you know how serious it is to him. Much more serious than getting married. I myself accepted water brotherhood with Mike before I understood it - and I've become more and more deeply entangled with its responsibilities the more I've grokked it. You'll be committing yourself never to lie to him, never to mislead or deceive him in any way, to stick by him come what may - because that is just what he will do with you. Better think about it."
"I have been thinking about it, all day. Jubal, there's something about Mike that makes you want to take care of him."
"I know. You've probably never encountered complete honesty before - I know I hadn't. Innocence. Mike has never tasted the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil� so we, who have, don't understand what makes him tick. Well, on your own head be it. I hope you never regret it." Jubal looked up. "Oh, there you are! I thought you had stopped to distill the stuff."
Larry answered, "Couldn't find a cork screw, at first."
"Machinery again. Why didn't you bite the neck off? Duke, you'll find some glasses stashed behind The Anatomy of Melancholy up there-"
"I know where you hide them."
"-and we'll all have a quick one, neat, before we get down to serious drinking." Duke got the glasses; Jubal poured and held up his own. "The golden sunshine of Italy congealed into tears. Here's to alcoholic brotherhood� much more suited to the frail human soul, if any, than any other sort."
"Health."
"Cheers."
Jubal poured his slowly down his throat. "Ah," he said happily, and belched. "Offer some of that to Mike, afterwards, Duke, and let him learn how good it is to be human. Makes me feel creative. Front! Why are those girls never around when I need them? Front!!"
"I'm still 'Front,' " Miriam answered, at the door, "but-"
"I know. And I was saying: '-to what strange, bittersweet fate my tomboy ambition-'"
"But I finished that story while you were chatting on the telephone with the Secretary General."
"Then you are no longer 'Front.' Send it off."
"Don't you want to read it first? Anyhow, I've got to revise it - kissing Mike gave me a new insight on it."
Jubal shuddered. "Read it?' Good God, no! It's bad enough to write such a thing. And don't even consider revising it, certainly not to fit the facts. My child, a true-confession story should never be tarnished by any taint of truth."
"Okay, Boss. And Anne says if you want to come down to the pool and have a bite before you eat, come on."
"I can't think of a better time. Shall we adjourn to the terrace, gentlemen'?"
At the pool the party progressed liquidly with bits of fish and other Scandinavian high-caloric comestibles added to taste. At Jubal's invitation Mike tried brandy, somewhat cut with water. Mike found the resulting sensation extremely disquieting, so he analysed his trouble, added oxygen to the ethanol in an inner process of reversed fermentation and converted it to glucose and water, which gave him no trouble.
Jubal had been observing with interest the effect of his first drink of liquor on the Man from Mars - saw him become drunk almost at once, saw him sober up even more quickly. In an attempt to understand what had happened, Jubal urged more brandy on Mike - which he readily accepted since his water brother offered it. Mike sopped up an extravagant quantity of fine imported liquor before Jubal was willing to concede that it was impossible to get him drunk.
Such was not the case with Jubal, despite his years of pickling; staying sociable with Mike during the experiment dulled the edge of his wits. So, when he attempted to ask Mike what he had done, Mike thought that he was inquiring about the events during the raid by the S.S. - concerning which Mike still felt latent guilt. He tried to explain and, if needed, receive Jubal's pardon.
Jubal interrupted when at last he figured out what the boy was talking about. "Son, I don't want to know what you did, nor how you did it. What you did was just what was needed - perfect, just perfect. But-" He blinked owlishly. "-don't tell me about it. Don't ever tell anybody about it."