I don’t know where I’ll stay. I can’t expect Cat’s father will just take me into his home and accept that I no longer have one of my own. But those are details for later. If Reyna agrees.
A very important if.
She takes her time turning back. I stand frozen in place, waiting to gauge her reaction, conjuring up a thousand possibilities. But when she does turn, I am unable to read her expression.
Seconds tick by in anticipation. Not knowing whether I pushed too far is worse than any outburst.
A car drives down the street. The engine rumbles; its headlights illuminate the porch where we stand, lighting our alcove like the noonday sun, then driving away, shrouding us again in darkness. My cousin shifts on her feet. Lucas coughs.
Finally, just when I think I cannot take the silence any longer, Reyna asks me, “Is your request in earnest?” just as Cat leans close to my ear and whispers under her breath, “What are you doing?”
My gaze darts between them, but I do not answer. I can’t. It took everything I had in me even to make such a proposition in the first place. But as I remain silent, I can’t help but feel as though I failed somehow when a flash of emotion crosses Reyna’s face. It takes me a moment to decipher it, but when I do, any shred of hope I held for my future is dashed.
Disappointment.
The smooth skin around Reyna’s eyes tightens. “Alessandra, staying here would affect much more than just you.” Her stare drills into me. “Such an act would change history.”
As she emphasizes the final word, the amber color of her eyes seems to glow and swirl in the darkness, lit this time not from a passing car but from a mystical source within. The girl inside me who still believes in things like signs and hidden meanings wants to believe it is for a reason, that she is sending me a silent message of some kind. But when she speaks again, I realize that is simply the childish, wishful stirring of my imagination. And perhaps a touch of slanted moonlight.
“I am truly sorry,” she says, “but a decision like that is not within my power.”
Her emphasis, this time on the word my, catches my attention. I furrow my brow, marveling over what she could mean, what force could be at work in this situation that is greater than she is.
Signore?
The fates?
As I consider the possibilities, my eyes leave hers, closing for just a moment. And in the second it takes for my lashes to lift, Reyna disappears. No windswept storm to ride on. No whispered chants. Simply gone.
And I burst into tears.
Chapter Twenty-five
The crunch of boots on gravel causes me to lift my weary head. I’d recognize that unmistakable tread anywhere.
I’m still standing in the open doorway to Cat’s house, the cold night air settling around me like a torn, tattered blanket that suffocates all the same. Until now, the only sound to pierce the thick silence has been my sobs, my cousin’s sharply whispered “not now” to Lucas’s obvious bafflement, and the lonely drone of a car engine fading into the distance. All have formed a depressing yet completely fitting accompaniment to my misery. But as the thud of Austin’s confident, purposeful footsteps joins the nighttime symphony, my agony reaches a new low.
The automatic porch light switches on, bathing his raven head in soft light, making him appear every bit the fallen angel I once proclaimed him to be, and I realize this may be—no, it will be—one of the last times I’ll ever see his handsome face. Ever hear the deep notes of his voice. Every fiber in my being wants to prolong this moment, to savor it and commit it to memory so I can take it out and relive it in the years to come, but for some reason I’m finding it difficult even to look him in the eye.
“What’s going on, Princess?”
Those deep notes I’ve grown to love so much hold a touch of concern and confusion, and that’s what finally prompts me to meet Austin’s gaze. And when I do, my breath catches at the pure joy—rather than his characteristic cool indifference—shining in his eyes.
Well, that is, until he sees my face.
Then fury, swift and ferocious, replaces it, and the ease with which he took his first steps up the driveway shifts to edgy, tense strides as his long legs devour the distance between us.
“What happened?” he barks at Cat, simultaneously sweeping me into his arms. He glides his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the tracks of my tears, and then places a feather-light kiss on my forehead. Before I can relax into the tender caress, he raises his head and swings around to Lucas. “Someone better start talking. Now.”
Lucas holds his hands palms up. “Hey, man, don’t look at me. I’m as lost as you are.”
Austin narrows his eyes but nods, then turns and targets Cat with his wrathful stare. I latch onto his arm. “Austin, neither of them is the reason for my tears.”
“Then what is?” he asks. A confused, hopeless look crosses his face. “Tell me, please, so I can fix it. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
His eyes bore into mine almost pleadingly as his hands rub my arms, and I open my mouth to tell him, but what can I say? The truth is too complicated.
Austin notices my hesitation, and his back stiffens. He takes a small step away from me. “Unless I’m the problem?”
Walls that have taken two weeks to topple erect themselves in an instant, and a fresh onslaught of tears spring forth. I shake my head at how right and how wrong his question is. A half laugh, half cry bubbles up in response, a mucus-filled, disgusting, blubbering sound that is not at all appealing.
His eyes widen. The protective façade falls away, and just before he pulls me back in and tucks me against his chest, I catch him mouth the words help me over my head.
Under my ear, the comforting sound of Austin’s heartbeat calms my own, and the feel of his strong hands rubbing soothing circles on my back makes me want to burrow into his skin. Warm breath fans across my cheek as he whispers, “I’m an idiot. It’s all right; I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m here. Whatever it is, I’m here.”
And therein lies the true problem, for soon Austin and I will be separated indefinitely, and he doesn’t even know it. And instead of focusing on his consoling words or the gentleness of his voice, the only thing I think is, You might be here, but I won’t be for long.
I don’t know what to do next. Should I tell him about Reyna and where I come from, and risk having him not believe me? Or do I feign a brave face—or at the very least, a non-crying one—and pretend we have forever?
I decide the best I can aim for is somewhere in the middle and throw my arms around his neck. My emotions have a mind of their own tonight, but I will do everything I can to make the most of the little time we have left. My hands lock behind Austin’s head, and the thought crosses my mind that maybe if I never let go, I can somehow bring him home with me.
The image of Austin in my world of rules and regulations, pretentions and propriety makes me laugh—which really comes out closer to a splutter—and I snuggle my face into the soft folds of his cotton shirt. Inhaling the crisp scent of mint and soap that will forever be entwined with his memory, I say, “No, Austin, you aren’t the problem. You are everything that’s right. And I am so glad you’re here.”
His chest expands with a relieved breath and I hear the sound of his lips forming a smile. He places a kiss on the crown of my head, then cups my face in the palms of his hands. “Where else would I be? I go where you go, simple as that.”